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My girlfriend is cheating on me. Help!

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, we are both 23. Our relationship has been healthy and happy, until now.
A few weeks ago I noticed my girlfriend was spending more time of her phone than usual. (Sending and receiving texts)
I did mention it to her, and she said she was in a group conversation with her friends from uni and that they are all planning on meeting up sometime soon, hence why she's been on her phone so much. I completely understood, and that was that. Until, one day whilst we were sitting at the table doing work she needed the toilet and left her phone unlocked on the table with me. I saw the opportunity to go on her phone and make a funny Twitter and facebook status on her account, as you do.
As I was doing this I saw she received a message from a guy called Aaron. Now, at this point I was a bit confused because we are both fully aware of each others friends and colleagues and never have I seen or heard of someone called Aaron. Naturally I opened the message to see who this guy was (Its worth noting that I had no intention to 'catch her out', and I never thought for a second she could be cheatin on me, I was just curious.)
The message said "Hey hot stuff, still up for next Saturday?". Obviously I wasn't expecting that, and alarm bells started to ring as she told me she was going to see her friend, Amy, from university, for the night on Saturday. I scrolled through the messages from Aaron, and things just got worse. They were talking about sex positions and what they want to do to each other and had even sent nudes. My heart sank! It wasn't until I reached the top of the conversation I died inside. It turns out that two weekends ago, they had slept with each other, she had told me she was with another uni friend. Instead she was having sex with this Aaron in a hotel paid for with my money.
I heard the toilet flush and quickly put the phone back to how she had left it. I said nothing to her about it, and still haven't. It's been two days since this happened.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to follow her next Saturday, and catch her in the Act. Another part of me wants to tell her right here right now. Obviously this is the end of the relationship. I just want to end it in a way that puts me on top and in a good position. Help!

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You should confront her now. Why wait? It'll be a bit stupid to catch her in the act she has already been caught in. Better now than later in my opinion. And she tries to flip it by asking "Why were you looking through my phone?" just show her where the door is..
Reply 2
What a cruel person she is, I understand how angry and confuse you must be and from a girls point of view, it's pretty ****ty what she's done! I would love for you to follow her and see her in the act to see her face, (priceless) and maybe she will realise when your standing there what A HUGE mistake she's making, but then telling her before you explode with anger might be an option although it will be confrontational, depends how long you can keep it in! either way you don't deserve that and I bet your heart was racing when you read them texts. You need to end things unless this can be seriously sorted, I mean could you really walk on egg shells with her scared incase it happens again? My option would be to follow her rather than you say your cheating on me ive been on your phone she will take the sulk because you went on it.. You could say you followed her as you were going to surprise her with flowers or say she forgot something just make that girl feel ****!


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Reply 3
Confront her. Why wait? She's cheating on you and thinks you're oblivious to it. If she asks why you were on her phone, tell her next time to password it so she won't be caught out for the cheat she is.
Original post by *Incognito
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, we are both 23. Our relationship has been healthy and happy, until now.
A few weeks ago I noticed my girlfriend was spending more time of her phone than usual. (Sending and receiving texts)
I did mention it to her, and she said she was in a group conversation with her friends from uni and that they are all planning on meeting up sometime soon, hence why she's been on her phone so much. I completely understood, and that was that. Until, one day whilst we were sitting at the table doing work she needed the toilet and left her phone unlocked on the table with me. I saw the opportunity to go on her phone and make a funny Twitter and facebook status on her account, as you do.
As I was doing this I saw she received a message from a guy called Aaron. Now, at this point I was a bit confused because we are both fully aware of each others friends and colleagues and never have I seen or heard of someone called Aaron. Naturally I opened the message to see who this guy was (Its worth noting that I had no intention to 'catch her out', and I never thought for a second she could be cheatin on me, I was just curious.)
The message said "Hey hot stuff, still up for next Saturday?". Obviously I wasn't expecting that, and alarm bells started to ring as she told me she was going to see her friend, Amy, from university, for the night on Saturday. I scrolled through the messages from Aaron, and things just got worse. They were talking about sex positions and what they want to do to each other and had even sent nudes. My heart sank! It wasn't until I reached the top of the conversation I died inside. It turns out that two weekends ago, they had slept with each other, she had told me she was with another uni friend. Instead she was having sex with this Aaron in a hotel paid for with my money.
I heard the toilet flush and quickly put the phone back to how she had left it. I said nothing to her about it, and still haven't. It's been two days since this happened.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to follow her next Saturday, and catch her in the Act. Another part of me wants to tell her right here right now. Obviously this is the end of the relationship. I just want to end it in a way that puts me on top and in a good position. Help!


Im so sorry to hear that.. :frown:

She might blurt out at you for going on her phone without her permission and that, but following her would just make it worse really... Cut to the chase and confront her. You deserve better.

You could "bump" into them if they're meeting up somewhere public, but to me it sounds they're all isolated places.
Reply 5
Thanks for the advice guys.

She shouldn't be upset over the fact I've been on her phone, as shes done it to me before.

I just want to make her feel an inch of what I feel.
Confront her, tell her exactly what you've seen. She'll probably try to turn it round and have a go at you for going on her phone. Don't be side-tracked or sweet talked, just stick to your guns and end it.
Original post by JohnnytheFox
No wonder she's cheating on you. I'd want to cheat too if my boyfriend has the sense of humour of a 12 year old.


Me and my boyfriend usually play pranks like that on each other, doesnt mean we've got a sense of humour of a 12 year old though, it's good fun. They've been together for 3 years, sounds serious and more than enough time to know this much about each other. And it's not a good enough excuse to start cheating on him lol
Original post by *Incognito
Thanks for the advice guys.

She shouldn't be upset over the fact I've been on her phone, as shes done it to me before.

I just want to make her feel an inch of what I feel.


Dude break up with her right now. There are millions of other women in the world.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 9
If I were you, I'd act oblivious until just before she goes out saturday, and then just before she goes out say something like "tell Aaron I said hey", this will shock her and confront her last minute, as well as giving her the impression that you don't care, which will probably hurt her too
Original post by *Incognito
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, we are both 23. Our relationship has been healthy and happy, until now.
A few weeks ago I noticed my girlfriend was spending more time of her phone than usual. (Sending and receiving texts)
I did mention it to her, and she said she was in a group conversation with her friends from uni and that they are all planning on meeting up sometime soon, hence why she's been on her phone so much. I completely understood, and that was that. Until, one day whilst we were sitting at the table doing work she needed the toilet and left her phone unlocked on the table with me. I saw the opportunity to go on her phone and make a funny Twitter and facebook status on her account, as you do.
As I was doing this I saw she received a message from a guy called Aaron. Now, at this point I was a bit confused because we are both fully aware of each others friends and colleagues and never have I seen or heard of someone called Aaron. Naturally I opened the message to see who this guy was (Its worth noting that I had no intention to 'catch her out', and I never thought for a second she could be cheatin on me, I was just curious.)
The message said "Hey hot stuff, still up for next Saturday?". Obviously I wasn't expecting that, and alarm bells started to ring as she told me she was going to see her friend, Amy, from university, for the night on Saturday. I scrolled through the messages from Aaron, and things just got worse. They were talking about sex positions and what they want to do to each other and had even sent nudes. My heart sank! It wasn't until I reached the top of the conversation I died inside. It turns out that two weekends ago, they had slept with each other, she had told me she was with another uni friend. Instead she was having sex with this Aaron in a hotel paid for with my money.
I heard the toilet flush and quickly put the phone back to how she had left it. I said nothing to her about it, and still haven't. It's been two days since this happened.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to follow her next Saturday, and catch her in the Act. Another part of me wants to tell her right here right now. Obviously this is the end of the relationship. I just want to end it in a way that puts me on top and in a good position. Help!


This makes me feel sad... you said the relationship was happy so it is horrible for you to have to find this out. I cannot advise you enough though to not follow her under any circumstances! You will be crushed seeing her with another guy... why give yourself that awful mental image? It will be devastating but you need to tell her you know what she has been up to- break up with her before she gets a chance to so at least it ends on your terms. Good luck :smile:
Reply 11
Original post by Kyjai
If I were you, I'd act oblivious until just before she goes out saturday, and then just before she goes out say something like "tell Aaron I said hey", this will shock her and confront her last minute, as well as giving her the impression that you don't care, which will probably hurt her too


I like this plan :tongue:

Just dump OP, not worth it
I would go and catch them in the act, but I'm melodramatic like that :tongue:

Either way, let us know what happens!

Also make sure you get a full STI test, just in case she's passed anything onto you.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 13
Yeah definitely, the biggest revenge is to move on and be happy. Definitely don't forgive and don't sink to her level either!
I agree with other people, end it now! Do not follow her Saturday, it will just make you seem pitiful and you will see the guy too which will be even more heartbreaking. I'm very sad to hear about your story but there are plenty of women in this world, many of whom are loyal and be better for you.
Original post by Kyjai
"tell Aaron I said hey"


This.
Original post by JohnnytheFox
No wonder she's cheating on you. I'd want to cheat too if my boyfriend has the sense of humour of a 12 year old.


You're a dude though.:s-smilie:


Are you gay?
I dunno. Leave her?
Original post by Kyjai
If I were you, I'd act oblivious until just before she goes out saturday, and then just before she goes out say something like "tell Aaron I said hey", this will shock her and confront her last minute, as well as giving her the impression that you don't care, which will probably hurt her too


lol yeah that would ruin her night. Best idea so far.
What worries me is how no-one has said 'Get your money back' somehow

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