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worried my weight will put guys off

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Original post by Texx
Marilyn Monroe's weight fluctuated a lot throughout her life, how do you know which weight the general consensus found her most attractive at? This is what comes up when you google her: http://cdn2.blisstree.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marilyn.jpg Looks like men found thinner women more attractive back then too.

You talking as if the changes in media don't reflect changes in society.


Because everyone figured out the same things at the same time?

Or was information, ideas, norms etc presented to people through the media?

How do you explain the variance in ideas of the ideal body type across cultures? After all our sexual feelings are based around mating with the genetically healthy. Whats causing the variance?
Reply 41
Original post by green.tea
Because everyone figured out the same things at the same time?

Or was information, ideas, norms etc presented to people through the media?

How do you explain the variance in ideas of the ideal body type across cultures? After all our sexual feelings are based around mating with the genetically healthy. Whats causing the variance?


So do you think the media is some conscious entity that decides what it's going to put out to the people and we blindly follow it en masse? I'm not saying people aren't affected by what they see in the media but it's not as simple as that. We influence the mainstream media.
Being overweight with excess fat is hardly ever attractive. However it's just one of the near-infinite numbers of things that make a person on the whole attractive or not. Granted obesity alone counteracts dozens of other "attractive features", but still.
Original post by Texx
So do you think the media is some conscious entity that decides what it's going to put out to the people and we blindly follow it en masse? I'm not saying people aren't affected by what they see in the media but it's not as simple as that. We influence the mainstream media.


No I think the media is controlled by a minority who control the thinking of the masses.

I find it annoying.

Why do politicians strive to keep newspaper owners onside?
Reply 44
Original post by green.tea
No I think the media is controlled by a minority who control the thinking of the masses.

I find it annoying.

Why do politicians strive to keep newspaper owners onside?


I think that's true to some extent and I agree it is annoying, but I still think people have quite a strong influence over the content of the media, supply and demand and all that...
Original post by Texx
I think that's true to some extent and I agree it is annoying, but I still think people have quite a strong influence over the content of the media, supply and demand and all that...


I think its more complex than that. Most people don't care about opinion. They adopt the opinion of whichever group they wish to fit in with. So yeah social pressure is an important mechanism, but its a flow down effect. The media controls the images of various subcultures to which others conform and then become steadfast in their new opinions. They say "I think equality and peace and blah blah" but can't explain why. Say "I like inequality and war" and nobody will publish you. Look at the way the Arctic Monkeys suddenly became a moralist darling. Moralistic rant about prostitution and you've made it. That's how people get ahead.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight (like not much but I'm very self conscious about it) and I'm worried the fact I have a bit of a tummy/ bigger thighs will put guys off if we decide to take things further. From your experiences, do guys generally get put off by girls being slightly bigger or do they care more about other things?


Can't be arsed to check thread if it has been post but:

Reply 47
he aint worth it
Funny how these threads split along gender lines with most men saying lose it and most women saying 'you're fine as you are, the guy will just have to accept it'. The female OP often ending up agreeing with the female side in which case you wonder why she asked in the first place! I mean if you want to know how most guys feel about it and get told from the horses mouth as it were why then finish up rejecting the advice that was sought all along.

Personally I find it disingenuous of females to say that being fat is fine, its clear from mist guys its a turn off. Even if your naturally attracted to a girl, the more fat there is heaving around the more of s turn of it can be. Sure if your naturally attracted to a girl it may not put you off all together but fat isn't exactly easy going on the eyes for most guys so you wouldn't be scoring as high as you could be.
Reply 49
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight


Sounds like your fat but you're trying to rationalise away your fatness. Loose some weight since it bothered you enough to make a thread.
Original post by earthworm
Some guys are all about the bass! don't worry about your size just relax and be yourself and try not to pick tossers. In fact I would say that if a guy is funny about your weight then he is a tosser, but that's IMHO..


:lolwut:

Most stupid thing I've heard in a while..
Reply 51
I'd say it varies from guy to guy. To some it will matter, to some it won't. Some will like it, some won't. From my personal perspective, it sound like you're a little overweight to the point that it doesn't matter. I think many guys will agree with me in saying I like girls with "a bit of meat" on them, but I don't think that's something many girls like to hear!

As for should you do something about it... You can take comfort when people say to you "you are fine as you are, just find guys that will accept you for who you are". You are fine as you are, and the only guys worth it are the guys who like you as you are.

But if you changed, what would be different? Your weight would be lower, your body-image may improve boosting your confidence, meaning you may be more confident around guys which may further boost your confidence. I'm all for self-acceptance, but if you can improve yourself in which ever way and it's what you want to do, do it. That's if you want said change, that is.

Maybe think of it this way. Would you rather a slightly chubby, shy and unconfident guy, or the same guy, but somewhat athletic, more open and more confident in himself?
Original post by chumaniward
"skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?


THIS
Original post by Stewie2011
Funny how these threads split along gender lines with most men saying lose it and most women saying 'you're fine as you are, the guy will just have to accept it'. The female OP often ending up agreeing with the female side in which case you wonder why she asked in the first place! I mean if you want to know how most guys feel about it and get told from the horses mouth as it were why then finish up rejecting the advice that was sought all along.

Personally I find it disingenuous of females to say that being fat is fine, its clear from mist guys its a turn off. Even if your naturally attracted to a girl, the more fat there is heaving around the more of s turn of it can be. Sure if your naturally attracted to a girl it may not put you off all together but fat isn't exactly easy going on the eyes for most guys so you wouldn't be scoring as high as you could be.


actually I tend to agree more with the male side, I wasn't the one repping all the posts aha
Reply 54
Dating is a numbers game. The more attractive you are, the bigger your pool of potential dates and you get more choice in whom you date.

Most men prefer slim women, that has been true for at least 100 years. Ask any man his ideal woman and most would choose a film star, model or singer most of whom are slim.

Men are realistic and would settle for a fatty if he does thinks he has less chance with a hottie.
Reply 55
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight (like not much but I'm very self conscious about it) and I'm worried the fact I have a bit of a tummy/ bigger thighs will put guys off if we decide to take things further. From your experiences, do guys generally get put off by girls being slightly bigger or do they care more about other things?


I'm personally not put off it but if it bothers you so much, do something about it.

Also, if you're happy with it why should you change just to please potential boyfriends? That's a childish mentality...
Original post by MaseratiJay
I prefer girls with a bit of meat on them to be honest...what do I need a rake for? I'm not a gardener

Something like that would not bother me unless the person was obese. That's just too far for me.


This is a rake.

These are women.


Know the difference :smile:

Also





Original post by dhr90
You sound fine to me.

Look how you want and do what you want because you want to, not because someone else wants to.

Besides, have you ever hugged one of those size 6/8 stick thin girls? Its like hugging a slightly warmer lamp post that has arms...


This is a stick.

These are women.


As you can see there's quite a big size difference.
Reply 57
Original post by Anonymous
I'm somewhere between 11 and 12 stone (not sure how much bcos I haven't weighed myself for months and I have lost weight recently) and I'm 5'8


I'm 10st and 5ft9... a lot of that 11-12 stone will be down to your height :smile:
I'm a size 10... and also I have wide hips.. and also I think a lot of guys like girls with a bit of curve/something to hold onto!! (especially older guys - in my experience)

Also - you should think about if YOU like the way YOU like... if you don't... then you could diet but only if that's what you want... never change yourself to attract guys. The right guy will come along and he'll think you're just right the way you are. It all starts with you.
Reply 58
Original post by lccy
Also - you should think about if YOU like the way YOU like... if you don't... then you could diet but only if that's what you want... never change yourself to attract guys. The right guy will come along and he'll think you're just right the way you are. It all starts with you.


I don't see the issue with changing yourself to attract guys. If you are happy to lose weight and think it will get you the attention and confidence you want, what's the issue? Losing weight may be a means to an end, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, provided it won't cause you harm in any way.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 59
Original post by hektik
I don't see the issue with changing yourself to attract guys. If you are happy to lose weight and think it will get you the attention and confidence you want, what's the issue? Losing weight may be a means to an end, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, provided it won't cause you harm in any way.


If it was something that she also wanted to change, then that's fine. But I don't think it's healthy to change something you maybe don't want to. Sorry if I wasn't clear :smile:

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