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I strangled a girl in a bottled up rage, now I don't know what to do

Last night I did something truly terrible and I am very stuck what to do next. I got extremely angry at a girl so I strangled her

I made good friends with the girl beginning of September, she was first introduced to me by my female flatmate and the girl asked me to walk her home, she asked to come around mine the following day when we slept together, we became good sex buddies but we also talked went out and did other things.

I have really bad anxiety so I don't like to get too close to people and it really annoys me when being nice to someone and she/he is horrible back. It takes me ages to see a girl in a relationship way so I'm just seeing it as a good friendship, she wanted to take it further and by the time I was finally interested she lost interested which was rather confusing for me because she liked me.

She starting sleeping with other people behind my back, I wasn't bother about what she was doing fact she was hiding it from me was annoying. We decided it wasn't going to work out so we decided to be friends with no sexual contact.

I started seeing other women and she started seeing other men, we had a good friendship but she started changing only wanting something out of me if she wanted something out of me like 'can I come round yours my flatmates are annoying me' and not proper hang outs which I was dying for

Her attitude towards me really started to bug me so I decided to forget get her out of my life, if I get no respect from her why should I give it back. She is friends with flatmate like I said so my plan of avoiding her didn't work as I go into the kitchen area she is often sat there and I feel uncomfortable, I walk out and go in my room so it isn't ruined for my flatmate.

My flatmate stopped inviting me out, I see photos of them going out so its clear they don't want me involved when all she has to do is come and be nice to me. So being the bigger person I said sorry to her even though I didn't do anything wrong I just didn't want it to get awkward.

So last night I was out seeing another girl I get a text saying to come join them back at the flat, I returned shortly to join them. My flatmate was completely fine chatted with me but the girl didn't even try to start a conversation with me but she talked to everybody else in the room.

I had been drinking quite a bit from before and adding to it back at the flat, I just got extremely angry got up and strangled her. It was all bottled up desperate for her to see how I am..nothing

It was in front of my flatmates, I was pulled off her and she ran into my flatmates room. As I sat down and sobered up a bit I realized that I had done, I would never want to hit a woman or anyone so I felt **** about it as I have a lot female friends and family

I sent texts to both of them to say sorry but no responses so I take they don't want to know but I don't want to keep messaging them so I don't know what to do next. I don't want to be feared or seen as a

Can people please help me. I can't ask anyone in real life because I don't want people to know what I've done. What should I do?

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Expect to get arrested and charged with aggravated assault. Sorry. This is not acceptable.
You should not make any excuses for your actions, what you did was unacceptable. You could apologise to the girl, though in person is probably a bad idea as she is probably now scared of you so don't go near her, keep your distance. And if she decides to press charges deal with it and face the consequences of your actions like an adult.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by farrow000
Last night I did something truly terrible and I am very stuck what to do next. I got extremely angry at a girl so I strangled her

I made good friends with the girl beginning of September, she was first introduced to me by my female flatmate and the girl asked me to walk her home, she asked to come around mine the following day when we slept together, we became good sex buddies but we also talked went out and did other things.

I have really bad anxiety so I don't like to get too close to people and it really annoys me when being nice to someone and she/he is horrible back. It takes me ages to see a girl in a relationship way so I'm just seeing it as a good friendship, she wanted to take it further and by the time I was finally interested she lost interested which was rather confusing for me because she liked me.

She starting sleeping with other people behind my back, I wasn't bother about what she was doing fact she was hiding it from me was annoying. We decided it wasn't going to work out so we decided to be friends with no sexual contact.

I started seeing other women and she started seeing other men, we had a good friendship but she started changing only wanting something out of me if she wanted something out of me like 'can I come round yours my flatmates are annoying me' and not proper hang outs which I was dying for

Her attitude towards me really started to bug me so I decided to forget get her out of my life, if I get no respect from her why should I give it back. She is friends with flatmate like I said so my plan of avoiding her didn't work as I go into the kitchen area she is often sat there and I feel uncomfortable, I walk out and go in my room so it isn't ruined for my flatmate.

My flatmate stopped inviting me out, I see photos of them going out so its clear they don't want me involved when all she has to do is come and be nice to me. So being the bigger person I said sorry to her even though I didn't do anything wrong I just didn't want it to get awkward.

So last night I was out seeing another girl I get a text saying to come join them back at the flat, I returned shortly to join them. My flatmate was completely fine chatted with me but the girl didn't even try to start a conversation with me but she talked to everybody else in the room.

I had been drinking quite a bit from before and adding to it back at the flat, I just got extremely angry got up and strangled her. It was all bottled up desperate for her to see how I am..nothing

It was in front of my flatmates, I was pulled off her and she ran into my flatmates room. As I sat down and sobered up a bit I realized that I had done, I would never want to hit a woman or anyone so I felt **** about it as I have a lot female friends and family

I sent texts to both of them to say sorry but no responses so I take they don't want to know but I don't want to keep messaging them so I don't know what to do next. I don't want to be feared or seen as a

Can people please help me. I can't ask anyone in real life because I don't want people to know what I've done. What should I do?

The best thing you could do is stay away from the girl. Get anger management support, honestly that is not normal behaviour and who knows what you might do next? You can choose to prevent this behaviour, maybe even stay away from the alcohol if thats what you are like.
So you strangled her for not talking to you but talking to everyone else in the room?

Go to the police and be up front about what you have done and take your punishment.
If this isn't just trolling then you need mental help. What would you have done if someone didn't pull you off her? Strangle her til she was dead because she didn't talk to you?
Ignore the hateful and insulting comments on here. What you did was wrong but it's happened and there's nothing you can do to change it. You may get in trouble for this if the girl or your flatmate decides to tell the police. In the mean time, I suggest you go to a doctor or a therapist or someone like that and explain to them what happened and that you want help.

Good luck bro
turn yourself in...
OP: Reading into it, it seems you realise you have been a complete dick but the event has made you even more anxious. Alcohol has most definitely played a part in removing the natural inhibition which would normally keep you in control. Do you think you may have a problem with it in that respect? i.e. binge drinking or worse?

People get into scraps all the time through alcohol, but the way you reacted is disturbing and strangling someone is not a normal reaction, but then again, I'm not a psychologist.

This was seconds away from so very easily ending in tragedy and you should be taking this as a very serious warning that something is very wrong.

All your flatmates will be shocked and will now be very wary of you. The girl may have reported this to the police, but she may also not want to get you into trouble either. If this has been reported and you are arrested, seek legal advice immediately - that is your right.

You will most definitely need to talk to them all - together and perhaps you can recover the situation somewhat if you truly are apologetic and remorseful and can explain exactly why it happened. But most importantly, you will need to convince them why this will never happen again.

I would strongly suggest you stay away from alcohol completely and seek counselling help through your GP - both for your anxiety, anger management issues, your self esteem issues and also the effect alcohol is having on your life and those around you. You need to do this ASAP.

You also need to be prepared that they may tell you to find alternative accommodation, and they would be perfectly entitled to do so.
(edited 9 years ago)
Turn yourself in.
Have fun with your sleepover at the police station
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Have fun with your sleepover at the police station


Ah now. No. Maybe he has anger management issues that he needs to sort out. And he was drinking which is a prominent factor. I feel sorry for him. If he is not a violent person he must be feeling really bad
Reply 12
Avatar for JD8897
JD8897
9
i was reading down the paragraphs dreading you were going to say you killed her
Original post by Ekemini
Ah now. No. Maybe he has anger management issues that he needs to sort out. And he was drinking which is a prominent factor. I feel sorry for him. If he is not a violent person he must be feeling really bad


His actions clearly prove he is a violent person, and alcohol is no excuse for those actions. I doubt you would be saying the same thing or saying you feel sorry for him if he had say raped her. What he did was plain and simple wrong and there was no excuse. I agree he definitely needs some sort of anger management.

Oh by the way I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, I just don't understand how you could say that.
First of all if you were just sex buddies and not in a relationship then she can sleep with whomever she chooses to, she's under no obligation to be exclusive. Secondly, I assume by the fact that your flatmates didn't batter you than they're also female? In which case, they're never going to cover it up for you. Which means if she decides to make it a legal issue you could be in deep doo-doo.

You need to make sure that nobody goes to the police and then wait for it to all blow over.
Original post by SophieSmall
His actions clearly prove he is a violent person, and alcohol is no excuse for those actions. I doubt you would be saying the same thing or saying you feel sorry for him if he had say raped her. What he did was plain and simple wrong and there was no excuse. I agree he definitely needs some sort of anger management.

Oh by the way I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, I just don't understand how you could say that.

Obviously it would be a different case if he raped her. In that one I would be all for throw him a jail and throw away the key. But he sounds like he deeply regrets it. While alcohol is not an excuse, not everyone is fully in control of their actions when they are drunk.
Reply 16
Avatar for Lulu24
Lulu24
13
Original post by farrow000
Last night I did something truly terrible and I am very stuck what to do next. I got extremely angry at a girl so I strangled her

I made good friends with the girl beginning of September, she was first introduced to me by my female flatmate and the girl asked me to walk her home, she asked to come around mine the following day when we slept together, we became good sex buddies but we also talked went out and did other things.

I have really bad anxiety so I don't like to get too close to people and it really annoys me when being nice to someone and she/he is horrible back. It takes me ages to see a girl in a relationship way so I'm just seeing it as a good friendship, she wanted to take it further and by the time I was finally interested she lost interested which was rather confusing for me because she liked me.

She starting sleeping with other people behind my back, I wasn't bother about what she was doing fact she was hiding it from me was annoying. We decided it wasn't going to work out so we decided to be friends with no sexual contact.

I started seeing other women and she started seeing other men, we had a good friendship but she started changing only wanting something out of me if she wanted something out of me like 'can I come round yours my flatmates are annoying me' and not proper hang outs which I was dying for

Her attitude towards me really started to bug me so I decided to forget get her out of my life, if I get no respect from her why should I give it back. She is friends with flatmate like I said so my plan of avoiding her didn't work as I go into the kitchen area she is often sat there and I feel uncomfortable, I walk out and go in my room so it isn't ruined for my flatmate.

My flatmate stopped inviting me out, I see photos of them going out so its clear they don't want me involved when all she has to do is come and be nice to me. So being the bigger person I said sorry to her even though I didn't do anything wrong I just didn't want it to get awkward.

So last night I was out seeing another girl I get a text saying to come join them back at the flat, I returned shortly to join them. My flatmate was completely fine chatted with me but the girl didn't even try to start a conversation with me but she talked to everybody else in the room.

I had been drinking quite a bit from before and adding to it back at the flat, I just got extremely angry got up and strangled her. It was all bottled up desperate for her to see how I am..nothing

It was in front of my flatmates, I was pulled off her and she ran into my flatmates room. As I sat down and sobered up a bit I realized that I had done, I would never want to hit a woman or anyone so I felt **** about it as I have a lot female friends and family

I sent texts to both of them to say sorry but no responses so I take they don't want to know but I don't want to keep messaging them so I don't know what to do next. I don't want to be feared or seen as a

Can people please help me. I can't ask anyone in real life because I don't want people to know what I've done. What should I do?


Oh god :frown: Oh No. Go and grovel with her, and show her how sorry you are and promise to stay away from her and hope she doesn't get you arrested...I'd prepare to be asked to leave the flat too >.<
Original post by Ekemini
Obviously it would be a different case if he raped her. In that one I would be all for throw him a jail and throw away the key. But he sounds like he deeply regrets it. While alcohol is not an excuse, not everyone is fully in control of their actions when they are drunk.


I actually agree with you. The OP recognises what he did was bad and whilst alcohol isn't an excuse it still had an effect. Some of you are out of your ****** mind by just saying 'enjoy prison' ... like seriously, has no-one in this country learnt that throwing everyone in prison doesn't solve anything.

OP I doubt you will end up in prison, but I reckon you absolutely need help towards your anxiety + anger management, as well as probably laying off on the alcohol. What you did was by no means acceptable, but the fact you realise what you did was wrong is a hell of a bigger step than most "criminals" ever make.
Original post by Ekemini
Obviously it would be a different case if he raped her. In that one I would be all for throw him a jail and throw away the key. But he sounds like he deeply regrets it. While alcohol is not an excuse, not everyone is fully in control of their actions when they are drunk.


But why would it be different for rape? Both that and what he did are completely illegal and harm the victim both physically and psychologically. Not to mention who knows what would of happened if his flatmates hadn't been there, the girl might be dead.

Maybe not fully in control, like 100%. But they still make the final decisions over their actions.

I appreciate he seems to deeply regret what he as done, but I do not have sympathy for him.
Reply 19
Avatar for farrow000
farrow000
OP
11
wow people are dumb I won't be going to prison for a first assault, if she does then the most I'll get is community service. I basically held her by the neck and shouting what I thought of her in my drunken state.

My flatmate to my surprise told me that she was more on my side, I don't know what she said to her is her room but what my flatmate told me is that I was right to stand up for myself and she was tired of her attitude as well, she didn't like I was being singled out and reason she asked me back was to get along.

She is disgusted how I handled the situation but it seems the message has finally gotten through to her even though I did in a horrible way. I want a chat to clear things but she when keeps saying no makes me more frustrated because my intention was to be nice.



Original post by MagicNMedicine
So you strangled her for not talking to you but talking to everyone else in the room?

Go to the police and be up front about what you have done and take your punishment.


it was done purposely to get a reaction out me, she was in my flat and not even a word when I always tried to make a effort with her.


Original post by infairverona
If this isn't just trolling then you need mental help. What would you have done if someone didn't pull you off her? Strangle her til she was dead because she didn't talk to you?


I wouldn't of done that, i wasn't trying to kill her it was more of a threat

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