What should I do about this girl? Please help

I have a female friend who I have strong feelings for. But she is in a relationship.

Her relationship is a little "unique". Her bf lives in another country and they have only met once in person. They have been talking via Skype and messaging for the past 4 years. And she wants to marry him when we finish uni (in 2yrs time). Her family doesn't know about him. That's a bit of background info on that.

About a year ago I sort of told her I had feelings for her and she said I'm sorry, but I have a bf. I love him. Etc. She did say to me that she thinks we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. I said no I want to stay friends and within a week, it was back to normal between us.

I like being friends with her. We get on really well and I'm happy when I'm around her. The only thing is, sometimes I feel like I am too nice to her, and treat her as if she is more than just a friend. I am always helping her whenever she asks and I am always available to her. It's not deliberate - I just sort of don't want to say no to her. Also, I feel really attached to her and sometimes I feel I act a bit needy and clingy. I know that's not good but that's what I feel.

A few other issues. She has lots of guy friends. I kind of get jealous and uneasy when I see her talking to them

I won't lie I've had sexual thoughts about her pop into my head. It's not nice. It hurts.

Right now, I'm in a kind of limbo - I'm not happy with the relationship I have with her, but I don't want to end it either.

I am really struggling with this. It's got to a point where I can't stop thinking about her all the time. I am actually stressed out because of this, and I am starting to get chest pains. I am very serious about this. Somebody please help me. I love this girl but I can't do anything.

How can I win her over? Is there ANY chance? What do I need to do? Is there any HOPE?

Reply 1

shawn_o1

I thought I seen this thread before.

Sadly you can only be "friends" with her, if you're not satisfied, find someone else

Reply 2

LeftArmOrthodox

i've seen this thread before.

Reply 3

jenkinsear

I have also seen this exact thread before.

Reply 4

frances98

Original post by jenkinsear

I have also seen this exact thread before.

Original post by LeftArmOrthodox

i've seen this thread before.

Original post by shawn_o1

I thought I seen this thread before.

Sadly you can only be "friends" with her, if you're not satisfied, find someone else

If you look at his previous threads there all the same

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 5

Awesome Genius

I think you should move on.

Since all you do is make threads. No actual action steps.

Reply 6

Protégé

Win her over? Be mature and let things take their course. She's serious about this guy since she's still with him after 4 years of pretty much only skyping and has plans to marry him. She trusted you to keep it at a usual friendship level so do it. If you can't then I recommend that you cut her off.

Reply 7

Zenomorph

Original post by believeteam22

I have a female friend who I have strong feelings for. But she is in a relationship.

Her relationship is a little "unique". Her bf lives in another country and they have only met once in person. They have been talking via Skype and messaging for the past 4 years. And she wants to marry him when we finish uni (in 2yrs time). Her family doesn't know about him. That's a bit of background info on that.

About a year ago I sort of told her I had feelings for her and she said I'm sorry, but I have a bf. I love him. Etc. She did say to me that she thinks we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. I said no I want to stay friends and within a week, it was back to normal between us.

I like being friends with her. We get on really well and I'm happy when I'm around her. The only thing is, sometimes I feel like I am too nice to her, and treat her as if she is more than just a friend. I am always helping her whenever she asks and I am always available to her. It's not deliberate - I just sort of don't want to say no to her. Also, I feel really attached to her and sometimes I feel I act a bit needy and clingy. I know that's not good but that's what I feel.

A few other issues. She has lots of guy friends. I kind of get jealous and uneasy when I see her talking to them

Right now, I'm in a kind of limbo - I'm not happy with the relationship I have with her, but I don't want to end it either.

I am really struggling with this. It's got to a point where I can't stop thinking about her all the time. I am actually stressed out because of this, and I am starting to get chest pains. I am very serious about this.

Somebody please help me. I love this girl but I can't do anything.

I am getting jealous when she talks to other guy friends and I can't control myself. Help please

I reckon she's using you.

Reply 8

Protégé

This has been posted before..

Reply 9

Vav Sartrean Po

It seems like your in the friend zone, but I wouldn't know that because I don't socialise with anybody. 😇

Reply 10

username47781

Merged your thread because you have posted this numerous times before

Reply 11

SarcasticMel

You obviously want her, so no kidding, ask her for a kiss and if she says no then move on. This is hurting you.

And mate, in the long run, you will get over her if you cut ties. But you won't if you keep her around, and that little flame will never quite go away.

Reply 12

believeteam22

Original post by SarcasticMel

I don't want to cut her out of my life :frown:

I really don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 13

ilem

I've told you countless times what to do. Hopeless. Or trolling.

Reply 14

believeteam22

Original post by ilem

I've told you countless times what to do. Hopeless. Or trolling.

Certainly not trolling. I don't want to cut her out of my life. But I am not happy with the current situation either. :/

What can I do? It's not that simple. I see her all the time in uni. It's not easy.

Reply 15

username47781

Original post by believeteam22

As people have kept telling you, you got two options, cut her out or continue to just be friends with her.

Reply 16

pizzad0gs

Original post by believeteam22

It is that simple. It sounds like you won't accept an answer that doesn't include forcing your friend into something she does. not. want. to. do.

It'll hurt, buddy, but you literally only have the two options people have told you. Accept the friendship, or leave it. If you're really thinking about pressuring her into doing something that makes her unhappy for your own gain, you really don't sound like a good friend.