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Considering dropping out of university

Hi I love my course at universiry. But I'm not close with my flatmates and feel very isolated and I don't have that many friends. I'm not sure whether or not to drop out because I feel very lonely and depressed and spend way too much time alone.

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Reply 1

Wheezy

Have you looked into moving flats/halls? Most universities and halls, if you speak to them, will happily move your to another flat or building - got to be worth a try. Hope all goes well :smile:

Reply 2

vimto39

If you love your course and University, it seems rather silly to drop out because of your flatmates. Next year you can live with different people, and so as a worst case it's two more terms worth of isolation.

That isolation, however, is only where you sleep. There must be something you're passionate about - even just your course - so join a society relating to that passion and meet new people that way. Sit next to someone who also is sat alone in lectures, just speak to new people. Start exercising or working out and get those endorphins boosting your confidence.

As soon as you start meeting new people, you'll be introduced to their friends, and then their friends, and so on. As a result, your social network as it were will grow very quickly.

It's just about putting yourself out there. As I say, it wouldn't be wise to drop out now on the basis of your flatmates after spending one term with them.

Reply 3

username47781

Moved to University Life :smile:

Reply 4

Cassiejstephens

Original post by Msaliamma

My advice for you is to stay and see how it goes.. maybe you could see student support? they help an awful lot! (if they're doing their job properly) and you could move halls or flats, if you are enjoying the course then you are on on the right course.. I dropped out of uni because i didnt like the course or the place, I can understand how not being close to your flat mates and not having many friends can be incredibly isolating, but you will make more friends in time! after all you are at uni for the course, it would be a shame to leave and regret it.. however if you find that you absolutely can't stand it and it is still causing you to be unhappy, you can always re apply to a different uni and you are more likely to get a place aswell! :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 5

Msaliamma

But it's already been semester 1 is too late to make friends now.

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Reply 6

Cassiejstephens

You can make friends anytime! Just because the first semester is over dosen't mean you wont make friends.. okay the first week is easier to becuase of freshers, but still you can meet people anywhere! try joining a society or something, or people on your course? what uni are you at btw?

Reply 7

Msaliamma

I can join any societies because all my university societies are sports related (I hate all sports) so I've screwed my chance to make friends. I am at Bath, so I think I will leave.

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Reply 8

Cassiejstephens

Oh no that sucks! well if you are really unhappy then yeah maybe it is the best option. if you want any advice on dropping out i am happy to give you some info on it.
:smile:

Reply 9

Msaliamma

Thanks what uni did you go to and when did you drop out? I do have course friends but that's it and my course is not many lectures so I don't really see them that much. :smile:

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Reply 10

Cassiejstephens

I went to falmouth university which is like a million miles away from where i lived, i dropped out ...december/Jan.. i sent an email to my tutor and did everything from home, i just went back to get my stuff and have a last few days with my flat mates which was very nice :smile:

i realised that i wanted to leave when all i was looking forward to whilst i was at uni was comming home and i dreaded the thought of going back, incidentally i have found a new course and uni that i am going to in september, If you still love what your doing just look on ucas for different universities because it may just be the place that is making you unhappy and research into the uni and course like crazy!

Reply 11

Msaliamma

I like the place and course and my course friends. It's more like I don't enjoy university life at all I think because I am quiet and quite shy and not partying person I feel left out all the time. I think it's my personality not really suited to uni life.

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Reply 12

Cassiejstephens

you dont have to go out if you dont want to, you could move to a halls suited for people that dont like partying..

Reply 13

Msaliamma

Everyone at my uni loves partying apart from me :/

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Reply 14

Cassiejstephens

okay, well if you are that unhappy then just drop out.. i dont know what else to suggest really, but there are other uni's where you might be happier..

Reply 15

Msaliamma

Well I do enjoy my course and I love the location of Bath but the social aspect I hate if I could, if it wasn't for the fact I don't enjoy the social aspect I would probably stay.

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Reply 16

1501

Original post by Msaliamma

But it's already been semester 1 is too late to make friends now.

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It's never too late to make friends!

Reply 17

Muttley79

I know several ex-students at Bath and none of them like partying. Please go and see student support and at least talk it over before you make a decision.

http://www.bath.ac.uk/study/pg/studentlife/studentsunion/index.html

There are plenty of non-sports societies and opportunities for volunteering.

Reply 18

Roving Fish

Original post by Cassiejstephens

okay, well if you are that unhappy then just drop out.. i dont know what else to suggest really, but there are other uni's where you might be happier..

I think that in this thread we need to be positive thinkers and try to objectively think of ways that the OP can stay at university. Simply telling someone that yes they should drop out isn't really helpful - especially when the OP loves the place and course. :yy:

Msaliamma -

Partying isn't for everyone and Bath is a great cultural place, I imagine that the university has a lot of societies and options that don't include this!

It's great to see that you enjoy the place and your course! The key aspect I think you're missing out on is being sociable with other students. Which again goes back to not wanting to party - which is okay!

Have you tried talking to people in your lectures? I bet there's another person who's not particularly fond of going out either, if not a handful! If you talk to them before the lecture - and maybe take that leap if you're scared - I'm sure they're lovely and you'll integrate without any problems! Another option is to look at your SU societies - I'm not sure if you're at the University of Bath or Bath Spa - but both have some great interest societies. Bath Spa SU societies are here, University of Bath here. Maybe you could suggest that your housemates go out for a meal with you? You don't have to get sloshed there, and it could help you to settle in a little more? Or maybe a fun activity like bowling or something local!

We also have a thread here with some hints if you're struggling to settle in. Perhaps you might like to give it a read?

Next year you'll be able to choose your accommodation, and I'm sure you'll be able to find some quieter digs - maybe even with some people you meet from societies? If you can make it through this academic year then you're already a third of the way through your degree. :woo:

If you do decide that you'd like to go somewhere else, or you're not comfortable, then please do see your support services before handing in your application to leave the university. There'll be an advice centre for student support supplied by your SU or Uni and your tutors and course leaders are there to help you! You just need to have a chat or an email with them.

Hope it all goes well and please do keep us updated!

- RF

Reply 19

James_mullane