The Student Room Group

How do you feel about extremely attractive but extremely arrogant and selfish types

I guess I am talking about NPD level of self-absorption and confidence, without it being a mental illness behind the narcissism, just socially conditioned by their own abnormally positive experiences. Lifted from my other thread on fitness models, where I got told to quit whining about people working hard to be objectively better more attractive than me, I got the vibe that not just (some not all) fitness models but (some not all) model types in general held such views as:

'you should aspire to be me, for I am better than you;

'if I don't like you or feel you're good enough, it's your fault, you're not good enough (again I am better than you)'

'your life should revolve around me'

'I have power over you and this is how the world is supposed to be'

'nothing I do or say to you can be wrong or immoral because you are inherently inferior'

this justifies things like cheating, hypergamy etc.-in fact it is the principle behind 'attraction is amoral'.

I don't know, perhaps it is all my time on PUA and Redpill but I genuinely get a 'I'm a bitch, you'll never have me and you love me for me reminding you of your inadequacies' vibe from Anna and some others.


Perhaps it's the naivety of my religion but I was brought up to believe things like, you shouldn't treat people who aren't attractive any worse than someone hot, we are all equal in some way we all have strengths and weaknesses, it's what's inside that ultimately matters, nobody deserves to be treated like a piece of meat or an object, if you have nothing nice to say to someone don't say anything at all, etc.

However TSR seems to have an above-average level of elitism, which comes with contempt for the mediocre. I am wondering how people here then, actually feel about the type of insanely hot person (e.g. Anna Nystrom*) who has the power to treat people like **** and get away with it, even blame those she ****s on for their own 'loser' status. Does someone deserve that kind of power over others, if they work hard for it? There have been stories of police corruption, where a woman slang a glass bottle at a man and hospitalised him, who was bailed out early by the police because they thought she was good looking. It's also well known that attractive male criminals get off lighter at their trials than ugly ones.

*Apologies to Anna as my scapegoat if she turns out to be this really sweet selfless girl, my experience on PUA forums says people that attractive and aware of it are generally *******s. Inb4 'just because she wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot barge pole' etc., my question about models etc. applies to males as well FYI.
(edited 9 years ago)

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Reply 1
Got a problem with us?

Please see customer services at my backside. There you'll find the people who give a ****. Literally.
Reply 2
I personally don't care what impression somebody I've never met gives off. A few years ago i recall reading an article where Federer said Murray won't beat him in a slam final and got slammed for it by fans as being arrogant.. but to be honest, he was by this point on paper the greatest player of all time, that arrogance is justified.

Likewise, i do think that egotism and at the extremes arrogance can be justified if a person is incredibly successful.

That being said my first point remains... why do you care what impression she gives? Other than being hot, it should be of no relevance to you.
Original post by Ahwab
Got a problem with us?

Please see customer services at my backside. There you'll find the people who give a ****. Literally.


I obviously don't mean every male/female model or otherwise high-status male/female, as a lot of you will be nice, but I imagine there are a few who have the power (through the halo effect and people's primitive urges) to wrap people around their little finger and get away with it-perhaps not care, perhaps revel. The question is whether ethics about treating others well should be taken into account when a person has worked hard to be in this position.
Original post by Rakas21
I personally don't care what impression somebody I've never met gives off. A few years ago i recall reading an article where Federer said Murray won't beat him in a slam final and got slammed for it by fans as being arrogant.. but to be honest, he was by this point on paper the greatest player of all time, that arrogance is justified.

Likewise, i do think that egotism and at the extremes arrogance can be justified if a person is incredibly successful.

That being said my first point remains... why do you care what impression she gives? Other than being hot, it should be of no relevance to you.


Thanks for answering :smile:

well, it matters because basically, if what you say is true, and someone extremely attractive/successful treats me or someone I love as a piece of ****, their behaviour is justified by their success.
Original post by Rakas21
I personally don't care what impression somebody I've never met gives off. A few years ago i recall reading an article where Federer said Murray won't beat him in a slam final and got slammed for it by fans as being arrogant.. but to be honest, he was by this point on paper the greatest player of all time, that arrogance is justified.

Likewise, i do think that egotism and at the extremes arrogance can be justified if a person is incredibly successful.

That being said my first point remains... why do you care what impression she gives? Other than being hot, it should be of no relevance to you.


Thanks for answering :smile:

well, it matters because basically, if what you say is true, and someone extremely attractive/successful treats me or someone I love as a piece of ****, their behaviour is justified by their success.

edit: I put up Anna Nystrom out of a string of names because she's the latest name in said string of names to essentially build a career out of putting photos up of herself on Instagram looking super hot and unattainable and basically entirely aware of this. Which is different to fitness models of old (I think). The spike in narcissism/selfie-gen mentality is relatively recent.

There is some justification in she's marketing her sponsored team, sometimes a supplement as I mention in the other thead
Reply 6
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Thanks for answering :smile:

well, it matters because basically, if what you say is true, and someone extremely attractive/successful treats me or someone I love as a piece of ****, their behaviour is justified by their success.


But these are people you have never met, nor will meet. Let alone form a relationship with.

The only peoples validation you should require are your friends and family and if any of those look down on you then they are probably not good choices.
works at first if you act just like them, but then you get bored of it
Who cares about other people?
Reply 9
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
X


The interesting thing about looks and arrogance is how it is constantly reinforced in day to day life.

In this modern era there is such a focus on being attractive and such an admiration for attractive people. It means they get perks almost all the time, whether it be a stranger holding the door open for a pretty girl or a guy buying her a drink at the bar.

Every time they are singled out for their appearance, it strengthens a feeling of superiority; a confidence that because they are good looking, they are "better".

This is not to say every good looking person is arrogant because that is simply not the case.
But society's obsession with physical appearance has led many people to develop a somewhat arrogant demeanour regarding their looks.

I'll leave it up to you to decide who's fault that is.
I feel that they are...extremely attractive but extremely arrogant and selfish.

/
Reply 11
I'm the mother****ing greatest.
What OP Thinks we're discussing; People born with muscles and better bodies who lord it out over people who werent.

What we're actually discussing; People who work hard at something, are better at it because of that work, and OP is jealous.

Seriously if this was a thread about how it's unfair people with good A levels take pride in it TSR would already have gotten frothy at the mouth.


No offence intended OP but I stand by the comment made by the poster in your old thread. If someone is good at something because of hard work don't hate them for it. If someone is arrogant because they're good at something and worked hard at it then in my opinion let them be. There are people with good looks for non fitness reasons, but when we're specifically discussing something that comes from hard work and persistence it's not right to slur them.
It depends on the form their "arrogance" takes.

People call both Jose Mourinho and Kevin Pietersen arrogant but there is a subtle difference. Both have very high self-confidence; Mourinho has a sense of humour and doesn't seem to take himself too seriously, he is good at having a bit of fun with the media and being theatrical with some of his statements about himself knowing that he can back it up. But he is also generally charming and approachable with the media. Pietersen on the other hand always comes across as prickly and defensive, and very self-absorbed, he takes himself very seriously and seems to regard everyone as beneath him. He seemed to create problems with his teammates wherever he was and everything became all about him.

A Mourinho guy I would think was cool, a Pietersen guy not so cool.

Now the OP talks about being extremely attractive so probably means people that are hot but put on an act of arrogance with the opposite sex. The issue with these is they often aren't that high in underlying self-confidence so they aren't going to be a Mourinho. Sometimes you get a hot guy that likes to form a self-image of himself as a player/bad boy who treats women mean to keep them keen, and he will have success off his looks. Where it often unravels is that when things don't go his way he can turn a bit needy. I've seen situations with girls where they have previously been this kind of guy's booty call then got bored and moved on to someone else and been bombarded by needy attention and texts like "babes?? wat's up? u no ur the only one for me sweetie?? pls don't ignore :frown:" and the badass alpha image dissolves.

In the case of hot girls that have an attitude of "I'm too good for everyone" then as a guy I find it off-putting but also I think a lot of girls that are like that actually don't have a lot of underlying self-confidence and also they become obsessed with their looks as that's all that validates them in the eyes of other people. If a girl is really hot then probably the main compliment she's had from her family, friends and from guys is about how attractive she is so she will be terrified of getting older and losing it. Something I've noticed which is a shame with some really attractive girls is they end up overly making themselves up and looking unnatural because they are so worried about any kind of imperfection, their foundation is caked on in case they have any kind of blemish, they obsess over their bodies because they are driven in to a position where their whole self-image is dependent on being at the top level of hotness and any sign that they are slipping down will be crushing for them.
An arrogant person is an ugly person in my opinion.
Original post by sherlockfan
I feel that they are...extremely attractive but extremely arrogant and selfish.

/


what's with the sarcasm, you must have encountered the types I mean
Original post by MagicNMedicine
It depends on the form their "arrogance" takes.

People call both Jose Mourinho and Kevin Pietersen arrogant but there is a subtle difference. Both have very high self-confidence; Mourinho has a sense of humour and doesn't seem to take himself too seriously, he is good at having a bit of fun with the media and being theatrical with some of his statements about himself knowing that he can back it up. But he is also generally charming and approachable with the media. Pietersen on the other hand always comes across as prickly and defensive, and very self-absorbed, he takes himself very seriously and seems to regard everyone as beneath him. He seemed to create problems with his teammates wherever he was and everything became all about him.

A Mourinho guy I would think was cool, a Pietersen guy not so cool.

Now the OP talks about being extremely attractive so probably means people that are hot but put on an act of arrogance with the opposite sex. The issue with these is they often aren't that high in underlying self-confidence so they aren't going to be a Mourinho. Sometimes you get a hot guy that likes to form a self-image of himself as a player/bad boy who treats women mean to keep them keen, and he will have success off his looks. Where it often unravels is that when things don't go his way he can turn a bit needy. I've seen situations with girls where they have previously been this kind of guy's booty call then got bored and moved on to someone else and been bombarded by needy attention and texts like "babes?? wat's up? u no ur the only one for me sweetie?? pls don't ignore :frown:" and the badass alpha image dissolves.

In the case of hot girls that have an attitude of "I'm too good for everyone" then as a guy I find it off-putting but also I think a lot of girls that are like that actually don't have a lot of underlying self-confidence and also they become obsessed with their looks as that's all that validates them in the eyes of other people. If a girl is really hot then probably the main compliment she's had from her family, friends and from guys is about how attractive she is so she will be terrified of getting older and losing it. Something I've noticed which is a shame with some really attractive girls is they end up overly making themselves up and looking unnatural because they are so worried about any kind of imperfection, their foundation is caked on in case they have any kind of blemish, they obsess over their bodies because they are driven in to a position where their whole self-image is dependent on being at the top level of hotness and any sign that they are slipping down will be crushing for them.


great answer thanks. I mean the Pietersen type, or the high school queen bee/bitch level of confidence/arrogance. Perhaps you're right and it is after all rooted in insecurity, hard to tell :smile:
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
What OP Thinks we're discussing; People born with muscles and better bodies who lord it out over people who werent.

What we're actually discussing; People who work hard at something, are better at it because of that work, and OP is jealous.

Seriously if this was a thread about how it's unfair people with good A levels take pride in it TSR would already have gotten frothy at the mouth.


No offence intended OP but I stand by the comment made by the poster in your old thread. If someone is good at something because of hard work don't hate them for it. If someone is arrogant because they're good at something and worked hard at it then in my opinion let them be. There are people with good looks for non fitness reasons, but when we're specifically discussing something that comes from hard work and persistence it's not right to slur them.


You misunderstand. Of course people who work hard and reap rewards should feel proud and a bit smug. Question is, do these people get a free pass to treat others like **** if they have somehow proved themselves (through hard work in whatever form) to be 'better' than them? Because you do get this type of person as well.
Original post by Lúcio
The interesting thing about looks and arrogance is how it is constantly reinforced in day to day life.

In this modern era there is such a focus on being attractive and such an admiration for attractive people. It means they get perks almost all the time, whether it be a stranger holding the door open for a pretty girl or a guy buying her a drink at the bar.

Every time they are singled out for their appearance, it strengthens a feeling of superiority; a confidence that because they are good looking, they are "better".

This is not to say every good looking person is arrogant because that is simply not the case.
But society's obsession with physical appearance has led many people to develop a somewhat arrogant demeanour regarding their looks.

I'll leave it up to you to decide who's fault that is.


true :smile: yeah I do wonder whether we have become too image based, at the same time I am a bit vain :cool:
Meh, waste of time emotional vacuum.

Neeeext!

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