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Absolutely infatuated.. do I tell him?

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible but I'm sure I won't manage to.

There's a guy at uni who lives near me on campus. I met him on the 2nd day of uni and we hit it off straight away. The next few days included a lot of flirting when we saw each other and one night I ended up in his room and one thing led to another. I was a virgin, he didn't know this, and the sex was less than perfect.

After this happened I left his and we parted on really good terms so I assumed that this wasn't the end of things happening between us. He, however, starting acting really weird around me and was quite distant. A couple of weeks on he started being a bit more normal around me which I was really pleased about as I had been obsessing/stressing about it the whole time, still totally hung up on him.

I then find out from one of my friends that she asked him AFTER he started acting weird around me if he was interested in me and he had said yes. This TOTALLY confused me as it appeared to me that he'd lost interest altogether and only saw me as a mate.

It's been over a month now since anything happened between us but I still really can't get over him. I'm one of the fussiest people ever (fact) when it comes to liking guys but I really like him. However, I'm not one for making the first move because, like most people, I'm scared of being totally rejected.

So, my dilemma is this: do I tell him how I feel and risk things becoming weird between us in the hope that he feels the same way OR do I keep my mouth shut and carry on as I am, slowly going mad?

Please bear in mind that he hasn't really given me any reason to believe that he is interested since that night we were together, which is the main reason I'm so reluctant to do anything about it. If he'd given me any signs that he may still be interested I'd be a lot less hesitant about doing something.

I literally can't think of much else at all at the moment so any opinions would be greatly appreciated!

Reply 1

username47781

Well it looks like he has had his cake now and moved o, have you been texting him much?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

No, I don't want to seem desperate but I see him most days just because we tend to go out with the same group and he comes over for Neighbours every day.

Reply 3

mr_person

This sounds incredibly similar to a recent thread...

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

mr_person

This sounds incredibly similar to a recent thread...

Most probably because it's not the first thread I've made related to this but it's developed to the point where I need to make my mind up what I'm going to do about it really I think. What would your advice be? (please nothing along the lines of stop posting stupid threads about it.. I know it's annoying but I'm really at a loss here with regard to what to do!)

Reply 5

username47781

I would ask him what he wants maybe if you see him again, if he blanks you or tried to change the subject then i highly doubt he is interested.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Carl1982

I would ask him what he wants maybe if you see him again, if he blanks you or tried to change the subject then i highly doubt he is interested.

I'll definitely see him again, tomorrow in fact. I'm sure he wouldn't blank me, I'm just worried that, if he isn't interested, then I will have messed up the friendship we have and that things will become totally weird and ruin everything.

Reply 7

username47781

Ask him tomorrow sooner the better, at least you will know for sure then, and in future if it doesn't work out and you meet another guy, don't rush.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Carl1982

and in future if it doesn't work out and you meet another guy, don't rush.

don't worry, I've definitely learnt from that.

God.. tell him? I don't know how I'd even go about it... I'm never really alone with him for starters. Will have a think about it tonight I guess and see how things go tomorrow.

Reply 9

matt@internet

I think you should tell him, after all he admitted to a mutual mate that he likes you. And well done for recognising that this is infatuation rather than 'love'. It's so refreshing.

Reply 10

munchkin18

to be honest, as much as speaking to him is the most sensible thing to do, personally i'd find that really difficult. i think i would leave it for a few days and see how he behaves with you, if he gives you signals of any sort. i've been in a similar situation, and when i spoke to the guy in question he denied all knowledge of weirdness and continues to flirt without ever making a move. meh men.

Reply 11

MissHero

If you only see each other in a group, and you don't text him for fear of seeming desperate, how on earth is he meant to know that you want there to be more between you? If he told your friend he likes you, then maybe he does, and is worrying that you are the disinterested one?! You can't expect guys to always make the first move; if you like the guy, it's up to you to do a little more investigation into whether he likes you back!

Reply 12

Alasdair

Just (get drunk and) tell him.

Hrm...feel like that's the answer to a lot of H&R posts...

Reply 13

supernova2

dont come across as too needy lol

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

MissHero

That's the thing.. I've tried to pretend that I don't want anything more just because I'd rather be his friend than have him being weird and not talking to me, which I now am.. I'm also one of these annoying girls that assumes if a guy is interested then he will make a move.

I really don't know how to go about telling him though without sounding obsessive/way too interested just in case he's not into me. I don't want him thinking I'm this crazed stalker.. how could I put it so that the message gets across in a way that will be easy enough for him to let me down if he's not interested?

Reply 15

Louenn

Get him on his own. Say to him that you like him a lot, and that you have done since you first met him. Make sure you also say that if he would rather simply be friends, then that's ok with you.

There is no easy way to say this, there is no eloquent way of saying it, the only way to tell someone is to just tell him. Good luck.