Have I used someone.....

There's this guy that liked me... for 4/5 years I kept saying no, didn;t feel the way back

In October he was talking about some desert shop he owns, or his family owns but he runs the shop and his family helps him ( he;s 19 i'm 16 )

He asked me if I want a job there I thought 'OKAY' then he told me the hours and it would be full time, I said no bc it was too much hours, I asked if I could work part time

I met up with him to 'talk' about it, said some University students work there aswell so me working part-time he will have to see ended up him trying to kiss me I said no.. again...

I asked everyone I knew if I'm using him by wanting a job there when I know i'm never getting with him.

Everyone said it's not, but it's whether you feel alright with him hitting on you every five minutes

I asked him again, said he's overstaffed...

Then like at xmas-time I was going somewhere and went round to say hello as his shop is on the way to where I was going.

I went to the shop the workers say they don't know anyone of his name working here I was like urmmm wtf but okay...

Came home, check Facebook and he inboxed me...

He said he told the workers not to tell me he was there because he doesn't go for Golddiggers, and i'm a dumb *****

I was like WHAT

I asked how was I a Goldigger? And he said i'm a goldigger because I came round, asking for him without buying anything and i'm not worth it and I keep asking for a job

( okay i'll admit I asked for a few times after we met could I work part-time) I said I had no money on that day ( which I didn't) and I wanted to say hello to him because his shop was on the way to where I was going...

He said i'm lying I just wanted free food or something along those lines but I really didn't. I also told him I could have easily led him on and kissed him just to get a job and keep in his good-books for the money but I didn't... I also told him in a sense i'm not worth it because I've said for 4/5 years...

Opinions? was I using? I thought I might be using him by working for him but Everyone around me said it's not using by working for him but it looks like he feels used... so maybe they're wrong

If I was using I know for next time not to

BTW before anyone saids

ITS NOT TROLLING ( see that on here too much )

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

xylas

Original post by Anonymous

There's this guy that liked me... for 4/5 years

Everyone said it's not, but it's whether you feel alright with him hitting on you every five minutes

Then like at xmas-time I was going somewhere and went round to say hello as his shop is on the way to where I was going.

I also told him I could have easily led him on and kissed him just to get a job and keep in his good-books for the money but I didn't...

Re-read what I've quoted a couple of times and then it should become clear to you what game you've been playing

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by emilytjones

I think it would be worse if you did actually get with him but you didn't so unless I'm missing something, I don't personally think you're using him.

Ok.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by xylas

Re-read what I've quoted a couple of times and then it should become clear to you what game you've been playing

Is that you saying yes I did use him?

Reply 4

Another

Wtf is that man child

You'd be better off cutting contact forever, imho

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Another

Wtf is that man child

You'd be better off cutting contact forever, imho

Original post by xylas

Re-read what I've quoted a couple of times and then it should become clear to you what game you've been playing

I read a few times... i'm not quite sure what game I was playing... explain again :smile:

bump.

bump

Original post by Anonymous

Is that you saying yes I did use him?
Ok I read a few times... i'm not quite sure what game I was playing... explain again :smile:

Original post by Anonymous

1) There's this guy that liked me... for 4/5 years

2) Everyone said it's not, but it's whether you feel alright with him hitting on you every five minutes

3) Then like at xmas-time I was going somewhere and went round to say hello as his shop is on the way to where I was going.

4) I also told him I could have easily led him on and kissed him just to get a job and keep in his good-books for the money but I didn't...

Explanation:

1) You have been keeping track of how long he has allegedly liked you

2) You have told a lot of people about this

3) You actively went to him

4) You think that you can easily lead him on

Join the dots.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by xylas

It has been about 4/5 years though since I was 11... he's asked me out... i'm 16 now.. what does that have to do with anything?

2: I wasn't sure if it's using if I work for someone who likes me when I know I will never go out with them and only want to work for them because of the money

3: and?

4: I could have?...... he was talking about me being his pr or me&him running the buisness together or something like that, he gave me a job when I don't even have no cv, I could have kissed him, got into a relationship with him and said omg yeah okay I like you so much, lets run the business together ' when I know I don't like him and I only went out with him to just get money for myself

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by xylas

Explanation:

1) You have been keeping track of how long he has allegedly liked

What do you mean by allegedly? The guy has asked me out over and over and over and over again so many times. I remember the age and place we first met and when he first asked me out because where he asked me out was so awkward like you wouldnt ask someone out there lmao, I also remember it because I only met him that day and after an hour he asks me out ._. and I was so young then like that never happened to me before, I actually ran home and told my mum LOL

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

He still likes my pictures and stuff on Facebook and i'm like w t f

Reply 12

xylas

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe you should ask someone else to read this and tell you what they think to get an objective view.

However, I'll try one more time to explain it in a different way:

1) You went to the trouble to post this information on the internet so it's not like it's at the back of your mind. That in itself is a red flag that something is up.

2) You have told not one person but a LOT of people about this.

3) You went to his place of work and asked people for him meaning you wanted something from him. Or in other words, you have something to gain from him.

4) This says it all really. Many negative character traits such as arrogance, foolishness, self-delusion can be inferred from this alone.

Reply 13

xylas

Original post by Anonymous

5) You try to make this person look bad but it only speaks volumes about you.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by xylas

Maybe you should ask someone else to read this and tell you what they think to get an objective view.

However, I'll try one more time to explain it in a different way:

1) You went to the trouble to post this information on the internet so it's not like it's at the back of your mind.

2) You have told not one person but a LOT of people about this.

3) You went to his place of work and asked people for him meaning you wanted something from him. Or in other words, you have something to gain from him.

4) This says it all really. Many negative character traits such as arrogance, foolishness, self-delusion can be inferred from this alone.

Original post by xylas

Maybe you should ask someone else to read this and tell you what they think to get an objective view.

1&2: THAT'S WHY I ASKED EVERYONE AROUND ME IF IT'S USING HIM, to get an objective view, I thought at first it was using because I'm going to work for him when I know I don't like him, I asked everyone else opinions on this, everyone said it's not because it's about buisness, so I thought okay then fine ,it's okay to work for him & yes it is at the back of my back mind, I have posted this on here to get other opinions because everyone else around me said it wasn't using for me to work for him but he felt used... " That in itself is a red flag that something is up. " are you trying to say there's something else to my story I don't get that part? + I don't see how what you just said explains that me keeping track of long I've liked him is using him..

2: I meant everyone else as in friends, but I don't see how that has to do with anything

3: Okay I see what you meant now. Okay, I understand you and him thinking that but I really did not, I had somewhere else to go and it was on the way I thought a hello would be nice, but it's obvious he thought what you were thinking but it really wasn't that. All I had to gain from him was money, but I did not go there to ask again for a job he already said no and that was that. Other than money ( which he wasn't going to give me a job and he made me it clear) there's nothing else he could have gave me...

4: Arrogance, foolishness, self-delusion

Firstly? Self-Delusion?

But i'm not arrogant at all, If I was I would have really kissed him when I know I didn't want to.

I really wasn't trying to use him, I was trying to do the opposite but everyone around me said no

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by xylas

5) You try to make this person look bad but it only speaks volumes about you.

I'm not trying to make him look bad, what are you talking about?

You're telling me keeping track of him liking me is using him.

I'm just explaining why I remember the years.

The place was an awkward place to ask someone out ( imo ) it was the Library... I didn't say or think that makes him a bad person?

and I did go home to my mum and tell her because I was so young and naive.

Reply 16

Sam Walters

Ignore Xylas...

My views on this.

You've repeatedly said no to him.
Hes said okay he will offer you a job. Why wouldn't you take up a job. You've said no to him multiple times he should get the picture by now.

What did he really expect? To offer you a job and you madly fall in love with him? Weird sense of entitlement right there.

You were asking about work. Fairly standard thing to ask your friend whom owns a shop. He wanted to read into that in some weird way.

Again stop listening to xylas.

This comment from Xylas:

You went to his place of work and asked people for him meaning you wanted something from him. Or in other words, you have something to gain from him.

She went to say hello to her friend....as she was passing. Probably to say merry Xmas too.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by xylas

5) You try to make this person look bad but it only speaks volumes about you.

and that's really what happened, he started to talk to me, I spoke back and then about an hour later me asked me out, and ever since then I said no and no and no for years...

I also said he's asked me out for years and years ( which he has) because you said allegedly like as ifyouthink he didn't really like me at allI was also trying to explain to you how much he liked me :smile:

Again, Idk what you got from this where I'm trying to make him look bad,

The Library is a awkward place, I didn't say or think he was a bad person...

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by Sam Walters

Ignore Xylas....

My views on this.

You've repeatedly said no to him.
Hes said okay he will offer you a job. Why wouldn't you take up a job. You've said no to him multiple times he should get the picture by now.

What did he really expect? To offer you a job and you madly fall in love with him? Weird sense of entitlement right there.

You were asking about work. Fairly standard thing to ask your friend whom owns a shop. He wanted to read into that in some weird way.

Again stop listening to xylas.

This comment from Xylas:

You went to his place of work and asked people for him meaning you wanted something from him. Or in other words, you have something to gain from him.

She went to say hello to her friend....as she was passing. Probably to say merry Xmas too.

Hahaha I get you but i'm ngl I think what Xylas said is probs what he thought too, as in when the guy said I wanted free food.

But really I was passing and wanted to say hello just hello.

But yeah Xylas said me keeping track of the time is using him I explained why I remember the years and now Xylas just said i'm trying to make him look bad, w t f -_-

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 19

Sam Walters

Original post by Anonymous

Meh ignore him. Generally you remember when youve met people and significant events in the time youve known them. Hence you remember him asking you out within an hour of meeting you and loads of times after.