I started uni as a mature student but now I just want to get married and have babies!
I'm 25 first year of a four year course which will make me 29 when I graduate... However now I find myself having a huge urge to just settle down and start a family. This is really not healthy for example I feel jealous when I see parents with babies/young children. I cry a lot scared that by time I finish my course it may be too late for me to find a partner, settle down and have children.
Any advice/thoughts?
Any advice/thoughts?
find a partner now who will be long term
i know people who have married during uni.. and have babies...
i know people who have married during uni.. and have babies...
Have your family, then.
Don't listen to the people on here who with all their experience and worldliness tell you to concentrate on your classes and blah.
If you want my advice - if you can meet someone (not at university) who is going to support you, then you might as well graduate and have your babies. It's not like you're going to get married straight away, anyhow.
It's no big deal - so you don't really go into employment (or if you do, it's not for very long) who cares? That's what many thousands of graduate women do.
If you think that at 29-30 you're going to be a desperate timebomb, then better start earlier -and not at uni. That will never work.
Don't listen to the people on here who with all their experience and worldliness tell you to concentrate on your classes and blah.
If you want my advice - if you can meet someone (not at university) who is going to support you, then you might as well graduate and have your babies. It's not like you're going to get married straight away, anyhow.
It's no big deal - so you don't really go into employment (or if you do, it's not for very long) who cares? That's what many thousands of graduate women do.
If you think that at 29-30 you're going to be a desperate timebomb, then better start earlier -and not at uni. That will never work.
You realise there's nothing actually stopping you from having your cake and eating it too, depending on what your course entails of course. One of the members of the Pregnancy and Parenting society on here (though she doesn't really post any more) went through university with two young children.
I admittedly dropped out of uni once I was onto my second child, but if I'd only had my first one, I would have managed to get my degree.
You still need to find a partner don't forget so there's no point jumping the gun.
I admittedly dropped out of uni once I was onto my second child, but if I'd only had my first one, I would have managed to get my degree.
You still need to find a partner don't forget so there's no point jumping the gun.
Just do what ever makes you happy ! University will wait , and so will having babies ?!
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Posted from TSR Mobile
I would have thought you had just as big a chance of finding someone at uni (whether they're someone also at the uni or someone you meet while there) as you would were you not at uni. Do you think you might suddenly be wanting a partner and family because the whole uni thing has just fallen into place, so now you're looking for your next goal to concentrate on? That's something I do all the god damn time. I concentrate really hard on getting an immediate goal sorted, then once it's in place I start dreaming of the next thing I want to achieve in life. Remember that you wanted to go to and complete uni, not just get in.
Why are those things exclusive? Do both!
You may well meet that person at university. By the time you've met the right person, spent enough time together to get engaged, married, have a child... you'll be near or have finished uni anyway! Try to concentrate on the reasons you're at uni in the first place, getting married/having babies is awesome but don't forget your education/careers plans too.
You may well meet that person at university. By the time you've met the right person, spent enough time together to get engaged, married, have a child... you'll be near or have finished uni anyway! Try to concentrate on the reasons you're at uni in the first place, getting married/having babies is awesome but don't forget your education/careers plans too.
As a fellow mature student at 25 and at uni for my first degree, I can understand where you're coming from.
I think a lot of younger students jump into relationships fairly easily because they are surrounded by people their own ages, and its slightly frustrating knowing you're not going to be around your own age bracket for a while.
Ive had a constant urge to go back to work/the real world since coming here, and as a guy i suppose there's less of a timer for me. But my.friends are all getting into LTRs and some are married... The pressure i feel to settle to be able to raise a kid whilst still at a fairly young age is ridiculous. That said, there has been an older person on my course who's had a baby and come back for second year, so it's not impossible.
Just remember why you're there in the first place, and the prospects you'll have after you're done here. We're slightly older as students go, but we'll still have everything, just a little later than planned right?
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I think a lot of younger students jump into relationships fairly easily because they are surrounded by people their own ages, and its slightly frustrating knowing you're not going to be around your own age bracket for a while.
Ive had a constant urge to go back to work/the real world since coming here, and as a guy i suppose there's less of a timer for me. But my.friends are all getting into LTRs and some are married... The pressure i feel to settle to be able to raise a kid whilst still at a fairly young age is ridiculous. That said, there has been an older person on my course who's had a baby and come back for second year, so it's not impossible.
Just remember why you're there in the first place, and the prospects you'll have after you're done here. We're slightly older as students go, but we'll still have everything, just a little later than planned right?
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Original post by Anonymous
I'm 25 first year of a four year course which will make me 29 when I graduate... However now I find myself having a huge urge to just settle down and start a family. This is really not healthy for example I feel jealous when I see parents with babies/young children. I cry a lot scared that by time I finish my course it may be too late for me to find a partner, settle down and have children.
Any advice/thoughts?
Any advice/thoughts?
I agree that you can do both. If looking for an LTR, you're in a ready-made community of thousands of different people. You probably have many more potential partners around you at uni, than you would do on benefits or working. Leaving to follow a dream of having a family, might be counter-productive.
I've certainly known people have babies during both undergrad and Masters degrees. Nobody would say it's straightforward, but they all graduated (a couple took an extra year). Bear in mind that they had partners to help with practicalities. Not sure I'd recommend single parenthood at uni, although I'm sure if you're that desperate you could make it work.
Either way, the dream is probably not worth giving up your degree. Many areas of the UK need two incomes to pay rent/mortgage/bills if you want to raise a family in relative comfort. You can't ignore your future employment prospects in all of this.
I've certainly known people have babies during both undergrad and Masters degrees. Nobody would say it's straightforward, but they all graduated (a couple took an extra year). Bear in mind that they had partners to help with practicalities. Not sure I'd recommend single parenthood at uni, although I'm sure if you're that desperate you could make it work.
Either way, the dream is probably not worth giving up your degree. Many areas of the UK need two incomes to pay rent/mortgage/bills if you want to raise a family in relative comfort. You can't ignore your future employment prospects in all of this.
Thanks for all your useful advice everyone, gives me hope yet.. Haha I'm on it! 
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 25 first year of a four year course which will make me 29 when I graduate... However now I find myself having a huge urge to just settle down and start a family. This is really not healthy for example I feel jealous when I see parents with babies/young children. I cry a lot scared that by time I finish my course it may be too late for me to find a partner, settle down and have children.
Any advice/thoughts?
Any advice/thoughts?
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
You realise there's nothing actually stopping you from having your cake and eating it too, depending on what your course entails of course. One of the members of the Pregnancy and Parenting society on here (though she doesn't really post any more) went through university with two young children.
I admittedly dropped out of uni once I was onto my second child, but if I'd only had my first one, I would have managed to get my degree.
You still need to find a partner don't forget so there's no point jumping the gun.
I admittedly dropped out of uni once I was onto my second child, but if I'd only had my first one, I would have managed to get my degree.
You still need to find a partner don't forget so there's no point jumping the gun.
You don't need to get married to have babies nor do you need a partner to have babies.
Original post by Juichiro
You don't need to get married to have babies nor do you need a partner to have babies.
Very true! But call me sappy and traditional but I would very much like to get married
Original post by Juichiro
You don't need to get married to have babies nor do you need a partner to have babies.
well ok not if you want to be technical but from the first post that is what the OP indicated at.
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