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Cliques? At university?

The first thing that everyone said when they got to uni was 'Aren't you glad to get away from the cliqueyness of high school?' and yes i certainly was mainly cos at high school i wasn't really in a clique, i was floater, i floated between all the cliques and had friends in each one.
But i thought all my new friends were glad to be out of it too at first everyone said they were but as time went on people seemed to fall back into cliques similar to the ones that they had at school and once again i'm just stuck in the middle. Its as if people don't feel safe with out they're little bunch and i feel like the only one grown up enough to deal with it all.
If i wanna be alone, i'm alone, if i wanna hang out with friends, i hang out with friends, but honestly a lot of them seem to be joined at the hip and if they see me on my own they worry about why i'm alone and ask where so-and-so is and if i've fallen out with them or something.
Whats going on? this is uni, the real world, we are not 16 anymore.
Another thing add to this, exactly the same scenario happened with bitchiness 'Aren't you glad to get away from the bitchiness of high school?' ...

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Yeah. It's the same where I am, to the extent that most "cliques" don't even speak much to one another. I don't really know what advice to give you, except just to reassure you that hopefully it will be very different in the working world.
Reply 2
Avatar for The Guru
The Guru
Guess that depends on where you work too, a lot of work places have their own Cliques seems like you can never get away from them.
:eek:
I would love to reassure you that it's diiferent at uni and in work, but it's not. Remember those same 'cliquey' people at school and uni are the ones who are going to be at work. The cliques are there, they're just less obvious because you will often have to work in teams with people you don't know.

Cliques aren't bad in themselves, they're just groups of people who get on well with each other.
Being a floater's no bad thing though:wink: - means that you get to have very different experiences. Be happy that you can be a floater and be friends with those people.

Although this comes from a male point of view - I've noticed that the women at work are fairly bitchy, but it seems a bit more jokey than it was at school.. but only a bit.:confused:
University is one big bitchy clique-fest.
Reply 5
Avatar for Acaila
Acaila
17
Yup, my year are hideously cliquey. It's especially annoying when there are parties or gigs or whatever that the whole year are supposed to be invited to, yet nobody ever actually tells my lot about it! Bitchiness, yes, but I am studying drama!
Reply 6
Avatar for sexysax
sexysax
14
There is definitely loads of bitchiness in my department, we're renowned for it:rolleyes: . There are cliques but as someone else said, it's more groups of friends who get on with each other.
Cliques are everywhere. Most people aren't willing to broaden their horizons. I've found Uni to be as shallow as any other walk of life, personally.

During my life, I've "collected" friends from all kinds of areas of interest. It does help that I'm a mixed bag though - I read, write, and am quite sensitive for a bloke. But I'm also quite sporty and into just about any type of music.
None on my course. There are some groups that don't really talk, but that's because we share different interests. Generally speaking though, we all get along, aside from one or two people - we do a lot of group work on the course though, which really helps.
Reply 9
Avatar for Badassbabe
Badassbabe
little_red_sox
Yeah. It's the same where I am, to the extent that most "cliques" don't even speak much to one another. I don't really know what advice to give you, except just to reassure you that hopefully it will be very different in the working world.


I've come to uni as a mature student, and I'm sorry to say, it does happen at work too. It seems to be part of human nature to form small, exclusive groups. Maybe that's why I came here to study Anthropology! :biggrin:
I'm also a floater. Which makes it a little odd when certain friendship groups are forming and getting to know each other well and I just have a few scattered friends. It's also rather annoying though when rarely do any of the particular groups consider you part of them enough to invite you out. I tend to go to the bar, speak to whoever's there and if I feel like going out tag on to one of the groups going out.

As for cliquey groups, at least here, one word... Lawyers.
Yep, definately cliques where I am, but everyone is friendly and not bitchy (apart from one girl who is known as 'mean girl' as is a total bitch) but its easy to just go up to talk to people even if you aren't part of their 'group'.
Reply 12
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allymcb2
8
whats wrong with having a group of friends you like and sticking to them?
Reply 13
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rottcodd
3
The thing is, when you're in primary school you're told that bitchiness and cliqueiness is childish and that 'you don't do things like that in secondary school'. And you get to secondary school and you find out that people do exactly that. Then you hit uni and it's the same. Then the real world, and it's the same.

Adults are bitches as much as students! Tis a neverending cycle. The key to growing up is to expect it and realise it's always there :smile:
Reply 14
Avatar for Arminius
Arminius
14
Yeh, i think my uni is pretty cliquey. Its not that we are unfreindly, its just we spend so much time together (high contact hours) that we are a really solid group of freinds so i imagine for people coming in to the course we don't seem very open. I guess its because if you have a good group you aren't really that keen to make the effort to make freinds - you don't need too. But when people first start uni everyone makes an effort, just it very quickly became groups.
tiger_lily06
University is one big bitchy clique-fest.


:frown: Nooooo... I was expecting maturity to stop all of that when I get to Uni
Reply 16
Avatar for EPD
EPD
11
Zebedee
Yeh, i think my uni is pretty cliquey. Its not that we are unfreindly, its just we spend so much time together (high contact hours) that we are a really solid group of freinds so i imagine for people coming in to the course we don't seem very open. I guess its because if you have a good group you aren't really that keen to make the effort to make freinds - you don't need too. But when people first start uni everyone makes an effort, just it very quickly became groups.

Definitely - it's very similar for our year. Everybody knows everybody else, through a relatively small year, and high contact hours like you say.
The thing I find in general is that yes, there are cliques, but they're a lot easier to avoid since university is so big. And whilst there are groups of friends, there are massive overlaps (house parties being a prime example) - it's just a case of you physically can't see everybody all the time, and not that you're excluding people.
Musicians are generally cliquey. As my theory teacher said, "Most of your friends at university will be musicians because other people just don't understand."
allymcb2
whats wrong with having a group of friends you like and sticking to them?

As popular as ever, allymcb2? :wink:
Reply 19
Avatar for Reverie.
Reverie.
14
J'en ai marre
Musicians are generally cliquey. As my theory teacher said, "Most of your friends at university will be musicians because other people just don't understand."

I hope so; that's what I hate about high school - I have very few musicians as friends there, because there just aren't any! The friends I do have, "don't understand" about music, so, with them, I can't talk about the thing I most like to talk about. Roll on university!

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