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Original post by bittr n swt
Interesting you still call yourself a muslim.

Anyways, do you plan on marrying her?


Hmmm, I suppose. There are aspects of Islam I agree with and aspects that I disagree with. For now, I still call myself a Muslim.

I do plan on marrying her. It might not be a halal marriage in the eyes of God, but it will be a marriage in the eyes of the law nonetheless.
Original post by Anonymous
That, I understand. And I know my pre-marital relationship is wrong/haram. But surely it would be weird, rushing in to marry a girl without having dated her? I think it's very important that you get to know someone inside-out before you enter a legally binding contract to spend the rest of your life with them. Many marriages end in divorce because of incompatibility, due to the fact that there was no 'getting to know each other' opportunities available. That's sad.


No I don't think its weird. I think it would be exciting to find out everything about your husband/wife after marriage. It would be quite interesting. Although you can find about bits and bobs about them before when your families get to know one another. Many marriages also end in divorce because a person realises their 'one true love' who they thought they were going to spend the rest of their life with, turns out not to be their soulmate. Which brings me to my next question-

What would you do if your girlfriend broke up with you/cheated on you?
Would you turn back to religion and become more religious or would you try and find another partner?
Reply 62
Original post by Anonymous
Fire away guys!

Disclaimer: If you're being an unpleasant little sh*t, don't be surprised if I choose to ignore your question/comments.


Have you ever tried to fight the urges? Or do you not try to?
Original post by Anonymous
My Muslim friend states that homosexuality is a test from God - obviously some of us are born with it and it is our duty to fight it and overcome it, find the straight path (pun unintended lmao) and so on.

Her conservative views on my sexuality have caused me to essentially ''go back in the closet'' - it is not something I speak of freely now, not like I used to before. I am not usually someone that is afraid to express their views and identity, I am completely fine with who I am. She would just constantly make me feel wrong, however, like I am a disappointment of some sort. She did something that was particularly annoying - when she found out I was bisexual, she was shocked and felt terrible for previously exposing her hair to me. Ever since that time, she would never again even show me pictures of her if she didn't have her hijab on. I know males (unless they are mahrams) are not permitted to see the women's hair if she wears the hijab, but me, as a female? I felt discriminated. She said it had to do with my sexuality and impurity. I do think she's absolutely beautiful without her hijab but I would never be attracted to her, therefore there is absolutely no possibility of zina being committed on my behalf! I just felt like she didn't trust me enough, and that she thought Allah wouldn't like it if she let me see herself unveiled.

I am a believing person, I do believe in God but I do not practise any religion at the moment (although my friend is a little crazy and wanted to convert me to Islam as I was bought up a Christian anyway and I am very familiar to the teachings of Islam due to having studied it in detail - I have dealt with a massive exposure to Islam in the past two years). Right now, I believe I am too young to ''settle down'' and be faithful to God. To quote Kendrick Lamar, ''I'm a sinner who's probably gonna sin again, God forgive for things I don't understand'' lmao. I know God is merciful and will forgive me when/if I come to repent. For now, I just want to explore who I am, so that I don't have regrets later on.

What are your views on this?


Yeah, so people keep telling me. I find that highly unfair and perplexing. I don't see my bisexuality as something I wish to challenge, to be honest - nor do I see it as something to overcome.

I am very sorry to hear that. I hope you will find the courage soon to be as carefree as you once was. In my opinion, this friend does not have your best interests at heart if she makes you feel this way. I would disregard her friendship. You don't nee this negativity in your life. Go in search of better friends, people who accept you for who you are. Good luck, should you wish to go on this quest.

As for her regressing to hiding her hair from you, I understand where's she's coming from. Having said that, I might as well cover my hair from my girlfriend! But that's weird and stupid. You wouldn't suddenly have feelings for her and fall in love with her hair, would you? I find that really odd to be honest.

Oh dear. She's trying to impose her faith onto you! That's uncomfortable. Unless of course, You feel that Islam is the right path for you. I find that converts tend to make better Muslims that those born into the faith, purely because they make that conscious decision, therefore they follow Islam and take it more seriously and to heart. How old are you, if I might ask? There is no rush for you to 'join a faith'. Take your time, you're only young - just like me, you're only beginning to find yourself as a person. I wish you the best of luck.
Original post by ImNotMe
Have you ever tried to fight the urges? Or do you not try to?


No, I haven't. I don't see a problem with them. It's a natural thought process in my head, the way I see it. And just for the record, she's the first girl I've ever fallen in love with. So there were never any previous real urges to fight anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
No, I haven't. I don't see a problem with them. It's a natural thought process in my head, the way I see it. And just for the record, she's the first girl I've ever fallen in love with. So there were never any previous real urges to fight anyway.


If I might impart some advice, don't 'come out' to anyone. Go to university somewhere far away and start a new life with your sexy girlfriend........I may be a little bias or misinformed, but I has this horrible feeling this could end in violence.

All it takes is one pious Muslim that knows you, and points you out to someone around town. Maybe I'm being paranoid, am I being paranoid.

Seriously, new life somewhere else......... It just occurred to me ! you get to share a dorm room with your girlfriend !
That's so f@cking awesome hahaha
Original post by Anonymous
No I don't think its weird. I think it would be exciting to find out everything about your husband/wife after marriage. It would be quite interesting. Although you can find about bits and bobs about them before when your families get to know one another. Many marriages also end in divorce because a person realises their 'one true love' who they thought they were going to spend the rest of their life with, turns out not to be their soulmate. Which brings me to my next question-

What would you do if your girlfriend broke up with you/cheated on you?
Would you turn back to religion and become more religious or would you try and find another partner?


But surely, by then, you are stuck with them? It's harder to break out of the relationship if you are married to them and you suddenly realise you guys are incompatible...?
It honestly hurts my chest to think about. If she cheated on me, then I would fight for our relationship and try to overcome the hardship and build bridges. If she broke up with me, then I guess I would be torn apart, and find it very difficult to love again, for a very long time.
As for your other question, that answer is only dependent on how strong my Iman was at that point in my life. I guess it would be a good idea to turn back to religion and become more pious.
Reply 67
Original post by Anonymous
No, I haven't. I don't see a problem with them. It's a natural thought process in my head, the way I see it. And just for the record, she's the first girl I've ever fallen in love with. So there were never any previous real urges to fight anyway.


Being a Muslim, by definition, means submitting your will to Allah. Can you really be submitting your will to Allah when you want to do things your way and not Allah's way?

Speaking from experience, there is always wisdom behind what Allah commands you to do; it is better for you in this life and the next. You must fight your temptations and ask Allah for help; if you want to be in the fold of Islam that is. Step one is realising what's good and what's bad.
You cannot ask for help fighting something you think is good for you :smile:
Pray for clarity and guidance to the truth, i'll remember you in my Duas inshaAllah.
Original post by Anonymous
HAHAHAHA!!! Well, i'm Asian but my girlfriend is black!


Sorry, hold on, so you're a bisexual Asian muslim dating a black lesbian atheist?

And no one has stated the obvious T-word yet?
Original post by JohnCrichton89
If I might impart some advice, don't 'come out' to anyone. Go to university somewhere far away and start a new life with your sexy girlfriend........I may be a little bias or misinformed, but I has this horrible feeling this could end in violence.

All it takes is one pious Muslim that knows you, and points you out to someone around town. Maybe I'm being paranoid, am I being paranoid.

Seriously, new life somewhere else......... It just occurred to me ! you get to share a dorm room with your girlfriend !
That's so f@cking awesome hahaha


:smile: I LIKE YOU! you're awesome. It's inevitable... I will have to cross that bridge sooner or later. I can't keep my relationship and sexuality a secret forever. I live in London and I've applied to 4 London unis, and 1 out of London. I intend on moving out. Mom is strictly against it, but my dad supports my decision. My mother is under the impression that it's her decision to make, and not mine. Which is unnerving.
I completely understand your feeling. If worst comes to worst, I would be disowned. I don't think my parents would beat me sh!tless in 10 years time, or whenever I decide to come out. Bear in mind i'm 18. My mother and older brother would definitely have major beef with me, but I think my dad is more understanding. He would be uncomfortable at first, but i'm his 'little girl'. He'd come round to it eventually. It is his baby daughter's happiness at stake, at the end of the day.
OH MY GOD, TRUST ME, THE PARANOIA IS REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL. I can't kiss her in certain places/areas, where I know there's a chance the word will spread. I am forever paranoid, always on the lookout. If i see a car that looks like my dad's, my heart starts racing in fear. If I see a figure that resembles my mom, my hands start shaking. Someone always knows someone else who knows my mom or dad. Its risky. But, according to my parents, she is my best friend. They've even taken her out to dinner with us. She's come over to mine, and vice versa. So she's not entirely a secret! Which makes it easier to some extent (kind of) when I come out and introduce her to my parents, as my girlfriend.
And sadly, we aren't applying to the same unis! But, my sexy girlfriend is taking a gap year and spending less than half of it abroad doing voluntary work... and she's going to be my dorm guest while she's still here :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: which is greaaaaaaaat :colone::colone: so it kinda all works out!
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry, hold on, so you're a bisexual Asian muslim dating a black lesbian atheist?

And no one has stated the obvious T-word yet?


What the hell is the T-word?! Please, do enlighten me!
Original post by Anonymous
What the hell is the T-word?! Please, do enlighten me!


Threesome ?
Original post by ImNotMe
Being a Muslim, by definition, means submitting your will to Allah. Can you really be submitting your will to Allah when you want to do things your way and not Allah's way?

Speaking from experience, there is always wisdom behind what Allah commands you to do; it is better for you in this life and the next. You must fight your temptations and ask Allah for help; if you want to be in the fold of Islam that is. Step one is realising what's good and what's bad.
You cannot ask for help fighting something you think is good for you :smile:
Pray for clarity and guidance to the truth, i'll remember you in my Duas inshaAllah.


This post made me physically sick.

I really ought not to click on any thread that says muslim or references religion.
Original post by Anonymous
But surely, by then, you are stuck with them? It's harder to break out of the relationship if you are married to them and you suddenly realise you guys are incompatible...?
It honestly hurts my chest to think about. If she cheated on me, then I would fight for our relationship and try to overcome the hardship and build bridges. If she broke up with me, then I guess I would be torn apart, and find it very difficult to love again, for a very long time.
As for your other question, that answer is only dependent on how strong my Iman was at that point in my life. I guess it would be a good idea to turn back to religion and become more pious.


You know you're going to spend the rest of your life with a guy. You can't expect it to be all cosy, and if you do, you're living in dreamland.
I find it sad that you will only go back to your religion when you're in need.
And that you choose bits and bobs to suit you.
You said you see women doing this in other countries. That doesn't make it right. There are Muslims who drink alcohol in Western countries but that doesn't make it right.
I hope you open your eyes and do the right thing. At some point something will go wrong by the sound of your situation and you will come to realise what is right and wrong. Mark my words.
Omg guys the T word is troll
:colonhash:
Original post by Anonymous
Omg guys the T word is troll
:colonhash:


You sure it's not triangle........... pretty sure it's triangle.
Original post by Anonymous
Omg guys the T word is troll
:colonhash:


We know... we were trolling.

I'm surprised how many people have believed this thread.
Reply 77
Original post by Anonymous
This post made me physically sick.

I really ought not to click on any thread that says muslim or references religion.


I recommend a change of diet if such a post makes you physically sick.:redface:
Reply 78
Are you also supremely narcissistic?
Erm....do you sometimes have casual sex when your parents/family/community aren't around?

May seem personal, but something i've wondered, since Muslims are human too? :biggrin:

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