Do I admit I like him too??

I have been friends with this guy for a couple of years, but in the last 5 months or so we have become really close and talk everyday, a lot sometimes. I sort of know that he likes me as more than a friend (we share mutual friends who harass me about it constantly) but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I really like talking to him and I generally feel happy when we're together, but I've never really done the whole relationship thing before and I'm worried that I might just end up losing a really good friend in the process, especially as he's going to university in September and I'm going on my gap year. We're also both in Y13, and I get quite stressed with exams and A levels so I worry that it might be a distraction or (worse) if we were to break up or something when we're doing exams :/

What's my best course of action?

(I'm naturally quite pessimistic and tend to over-think so apologies to anyone who is reading this and thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing) :smile:

Reply 1

Expired Potato

9

If you can stick to commitment and know that he can when you're on your gap year and he's in uni, then I say go for it.

There's no better time than now, so you might as well develop what you two have for today and live with it blissfully. We as people tend to think objectively about everything, which is great for academia, but when it comes to relationships it forces bad things to happen (overthinking, expectations greater than reality).

I say go for it, Juliet! If you're worried about exams though, it may be best to wait until after.

Reply 2

Hula129

15

Original post by Anonymous

I have been friends with this guy for a couple of years, but in the last 5 months or so we have become really close and talk everyday, a lot sometimes. I sort of know that he likes me as more than a friend (we share mutual friends who harass me about it constantly) but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I really like talking to him and I generally feel happy when we're together, but I've never really done the whole relationship thing before and I'm worried that I might just end up losing a really good friend in the process, especially as he's going to university in September and I'm going on my gap year. We're also both in Y13, and I get quite stressed with exams and A levels so I worry that it might be a distraction or (worse) if we were to break up or something when we're doing exams :/

What's my best course of action?

(I'm naturally quite pessimistic and tend to over-think so apologies to anyone who is reading this and thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing) :smile:

Tell him! You'll always wonder what if otherwise!

Reply 3

Lwin

12

You should be very open with him and talk this through, like that if you want to go for it you both know at least a bit more what you're getting into. Plus if you decide not to then it's a mutual decision and no lingering resentment.
Not going to lie though, it could potentially make things very awkward if you guys disagree...

Reply 4

Kevin De Bruyne

21

Original post by Anonymous

I have been friends with this guy for a couple of years, but in the last 5 months or so we have become really close and talk everyday, a lot sometimes. I sort of know that he likes me as more than a friend (we share mutual friends who harass me about it constantly) but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I really like talking to him and I generally feel happy when we're together, but I've never really done the whole relationship thing before and I'm worried that I might just end up losing a really good friend in the process, especially as he's going to university in September and I'm going on my gap year. We're also both in Y13, and I get quite stressed with exams and A levels so I worry that it might be a distraction or (worse) if we were to break up or something when we're doing exams :/

What's my best course of action?

(I'm naturally quite pessimistic and tend to over-think so apologies to anyone who is reading this and thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing) :smile:

Well, if you want to take it further, I'd suggest asking if he wants to go somewhere with you, like a park or something. Sit quite close to him and try to hold his hand and see how he reacts. That's just an idea, you could just say 'hey, I like you' but I think having a moment like that would be more memorable for the both of you.

There is the risk of it having an impact on your exams if things go wrong. It's up to you, whether you want to focus on your studies and possibly let this chance go by or whether you want to take a risk and go for it. I started speaking to a girl I liked in Year 13 around this time of year, and we started things off around May (right before exams!) and I mistakenly spent some time with her during revision periods when we should've both been studying. Luckily we didn't break up around that time, that would've been a killer..

If I were you I would go for it though. It may end up motivating you to do well in exams and alleviate a bit of stress. If it happens, just remember to be responsible about time and priorotise exams.

Reply 5

Profesh

20

Are you actually attracted to him? If not, then for God's sake, let him be: TSR is rife with tales of woe wrought by vacillating ingenues who've somehow managed to delude both themselves and their hapless boyfriends for months (if not years) before realising that the basis for a relationship isn't just 'friendship plus hand-holding'.

Reply 6

iAmanze

18

Time to inject some reality.

Men do not want women as friends unless:
1. The guy is homosexual
2. They find the woman really unattractive
3. Keeping for business reasons (networking)

If you're close he is either trying the flying under the radar strategy to hedge against rejection. Somehow it has worked with you which is rare but good for him so, if you know he's not homosexual, and know he does not find you quite ugly ...

...GO FOR IT ! :smile:

(basically saying don't worry about losing friendship as he does not want friendship in the first place and he would always be unhappy in that platonic relationship type)

(edited 9 years ago)

Do I admit I like him too??

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