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Going on pill/ Mum's reaction

I know this sounds really stupid and may not make sense to you, but trust me, its causing me enough bother! Basically I'm planning to go on the pill. I've told my boyfriend etc and we're both agreed on the matter. However, what's stopping me go on it at this moment is my mum. I have a really close relationship with my mum, and tell her everything. Maybe this is the problem. I don't particuarly want to tell her, as she'll just lecture me about sex (though i'm at uni and 18) and tbh, she's going into hospital next week for an operation...I don't want her to worry about me :confused:

So what do I do? Do I tell her like I tell her everything else? Or go 'behind her back', as it would feel?

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Reply 1

Segat1

Why don't you put it off, and talk to your mum after she has had the operation? Continue to use condims though. You don't have to tell her everything though. It's a personal thing.

Reply 2

Smile04

Tell her, she'll probably be happy that your being careful

Reply 3

jointhedots

If you went to the doctors for some other reason and they prescribed you say, painkillers, would you feel that you need to share that with your mum? If not then apply the same logic to the pill - it's just another medication.

Sure you're close, but there's no reason why she should know or care what medication you're on really.

Reply 4

foxiroxi

I told my mum and she was fine and although gave me the "be careful" lecture that was it, shows she cares!

Phoned her up the other morning when I woke up and my boyfriend was round (I'm in uni halls) and she even then told me to be careful :eek:

they just love us and we just have to listen to them....in one ear and out the other though!

Reply 5

Helenia

Besides, surely she'd be less worried if she knew you were being responsible? If you're 18 and not living at home, she can't control what you do and don't do, and you can share as much or as little as you want with her.

Reply 6

sebbie

it's very intimidating telling you're parents but i'm sure she'll agree with it....

Reply 7

*knowitall*

Why this need to tell your mum? You're 18 - an adult, amke an adult decision and then act on it. I'm sure it'll come up in conversation sometime in the future and you won't lie when it does - you'll jsut talk about it like you would with any other friend.

Even if you think your mum is your "best friend" best friends don't tell each other EVERYTHING all the time.....

And what does your boyfriend think? I mean if you tell your mum you're telling her information about him as well...and sometimes men would rahter have their private lived just that - private. Ask him.

Reply 8

iolaus

If you tell your mum everything then she already knows you're having sex - right? So why would the pill make a difference?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

I'm not having sex. I'm a virgin. Its just I'm thinking about it and feel ready.

Reply 10

kam

Might be best to put it off until she's out the hostpital?
You'd only feel guilty if she took it bad and got ill or something.

Reply 11

melonman

you're an adult now in a (hopefully!) stable relationship, and are being responsible enough to decide to take precautions against getting pregnant. in my opinion that says it all, you are a responsible adult and dont need to tell anyone anything you dont want to - its your decision.
i hope your mums hospital stay goes well :smile:

xXx

Reply 12

CheesyBeans

When I mentioned going on the pill to my mum while I was still in sixth form she hated the idea. I think she was worried that if I was on the pill I'd see it as an excuse to go off sleeping around with random men :rolleyes:

The main reason I wanted to go on the pill was because I had very bad period pains and all my friends who were on the pill said it would help me a lot. I decided that I would go on the pill when I got to university. I'm in a relationship now so I went on the pill for both contraception and to regulate periods etc

I've been on the pill for about a year and I still haven't told my mum. I feel that as an adult it is my decision andhas nothing to do with her. You'd think that parents would be more pleased that their daughter is using protection but a lot would probably just prefer they never had sex in the first place.

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Remember unless you are both virgins that you should prob be using condoms as well as going on the pill - unless you've been down the sexual health clinic for a check up and got the all clear.

Even if he (you say you're a virgin) has only had one or two previous partners when you sleep with someone you also sleep with all their previous partners (microbiologically speaking..!!).

And a bit of chlamydia is nothing to the heartache HIV can cause - sorry to be such a doom merchant....

Reply 14

Alexander

I really don't understand why you feel the need to tell your mum at all! I would never dream of talking to my parents about my contraceptive arrangements unless they asked me, no matter how close I was to them.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Because I'm close to my mum, always have been. I feel as though if I went on the pill and didn't tell her, she'd start the ssue of "don't you feel you can talk to me". I don't want this to be the case.

I'm still not sure what to do, though I'm thinking I should wait until after she's actually out of hospital; the nurses have already told her she's too stressed. :frown:

Reply 16

la fille danse

*knowitall*

And what does your boyfriend think? I mean if you tell your mum you're telling her information about him as well...and sometimes men would rahter have their private lived just that - private. Ask him.

What information would she be revealing about him by telling her mum that she's on the pill? :confused:

Reply 17

welshandy

seriously... tell her, she'll probably be shocked for a minute or two.. and you might get the sex talk but she'll realise that as a grown woman you will be having sex at some point and the fact that your thinking about protection is a thing to be proud of.

Reply 18

tiger_lily06

One day mum won't be around and you'll have to make decisions on your own...cut the apron strings a bit and make decisions for yourself. At your age going on the pill should not be a huge issue that needs to be discussed with your mother, really it's your body and I know you're close to her but since you're an adult it's not particularly any of her concern.

Reply 19

Azzle

my ex told his mum before i told mine! and she took the news worse, saying he was pressurising me into it (he's older an i was under 18 at the time). when i first went on, it was mainly for my skin, bt when i went back on, i didnt tell my parents for a few months. im still their little girl and i knew it would hurt them to think of me that way. i did say to them, look at least im being safe, but to a paent it's not as simple as that.

i would advise not telling your mum until she's fully recovered. if you were living at home, it might be a different matter as she could find them etc.

but dont put off going on it just because of your mum. you're 18 now and the law says you're an adult capable of making your own decisions.