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English Coursework - Descriptive writing help

Hello! I have my descriptive writing tomorrow in English on - a scene of a market. Here is a draft, could you please comment any grammatical errors/errors or where do add or remove things and a predicted mark out of 20

Descriptive Writing - A scene of a street market

As the twilight transforms into a stunning sunrise. The devoured market of Marlborough street begins to materialise through the misty fog on this frosty Friday dawn

The completely crushed pages from yesterday's newspapers and pulverised pastry bags aviated around the dust disguised floor, creating minuscule typhoon resembling dust clouds.
The smell of fermented fish begins to fill the air as the disowned dog rummages through the rubbish, looking for scrap food to eat.
A tall, well built man approaches the market with exanamite expression existing on his face. He is pushing a dark green, vomit comparable wheelbarrow full of fresh fruit and vibrant vegetables. He pauses, looks aimlessly down at his feet and swiftly sighs before slowly but surely setting up his stall.
As the day drifts on, piggish people swarm the market like children at a sweetshop, bundling and barging their way through making it impossible for vehicles to drive safely without the risk of running someone over. The sellers sit slyly behind there stalls waiting for an opportunity to shout "by one get one free!" like a tiger stalking it's prey and preparing to attack. Pickpocket's are sneakily stealing phones and wallets whilst innocent shoppers are choosing their groceries.
The rush dies down, but the sun warms up creating a stuffy atmosphere for the rest of the shoppers. It smells of sweat and mouldy vegetables which is shown by the sour expressions on multiple faces.
Midday turns to dusk, which diminishes the atmosphere of the market almost completely. The poorer pack up and the rich ripen up their prices expecting the late night businessmen to pop over, to collect late night groceries to bring back to home with them.

Dusk turns to dark and all the sellers are gone, the market is like a deserted death zone, with the sound of police sirens whirring in the background. Ready for the repetitive day tomorrow.

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