Do Muslim girls care about sex before marriage?

I totally get where your coming from, it makes sense to me . Morals as well as self-control have always been a big part of my thought process and identity. I grew up in an multicultural area full of people dating, though for me I mostly remember it from my secondary school/college days. I never really saw the point of if it was never going to amount to anything other than just casual dating/sex. It was a point in time when no one knew what they wanted, hell people were struggling to choose what a levels they wanted to study so never mind relationships. I dont think that's old fashioned at all, just realistic and well thought out. The whole no sex before marriage makes sense to me when you look at it from that angle, it's like why do you want your first to be some random that will never work? What just because everyone else is doing it? It's actually pretty degrading when you look at the whole western culture behind it, but that is pretty subjective and another discussion altogether. Having your first time with someone you genuinely love and want to be with is always going to be the better option, even if it means you have to wait and get married. "if someone had sex before they were married then it would either mean he was into casual sex, which would just completely clash with my mind set so it wouldn't work, or it would mean that he was in a proper commited relationship, which again I don't know how to explain but that would effect me" that's why I created this thread because of the uncertainty and I wanted to be sure if there were still people like you around...

But yeah I agree with you and don't be silly you will definitely meet a guy that shares the same feelings as you

Have they specifically stated that they believe their 'sins' are forgiven when they pray 5 times a day or did they say that they pray for forgiveness without necessarily mentioning whether or not they believe they have actually been forgiven?

In any case, you can be a Muslim (or a person of any faith) and still actively commit sins. Muslims are people and sometimes people will give in to desires and impulses even if they believe that what they're doing is wrong.

Yeah, I mean for me, at primary school all my Muslims friends were dating and stuff and i never understood the point of it because it was never going to last. For me personally, I put a lot of value of any sort of relationship i have and i guess i always though that your partner was the most important relationship; like someone whom you become so invested with that they become a part of you; and so i never understood how you could just so causally break up and hook up with people. I would always just want to be with one person, and its the same for sex, like you said how can your first be someone you wont even remember, i don't see the logic behind that. And i guess for me i become really emotionally attached and so having multiple partners would just never work for me. I don't understand how people can so easily give part of themselves away. I feel like people have forgotten how to value relationships which makes me kinda sad. Like i'm not against the idea of dating as much, as long as i know it would eventually lead up to marriage, like my eldest cousin has been dating a girl for 4/5 years now and they're just waiting till they're secure enough to get married. So although religion plays a part in it, its not the only reason. Does all of that even make sense; i feel like ive rambled on purely because i don't know how to explain what i'm trying to say.

Whenever this topic comes up with friends, i always feel awkward because most of them have such a different mind set. The only person I met who had the same view as me was this girl and we became really good friends, although she's not a Muslim. And i have yet to meet a guy with the same mindset as me, most muslims guys in my year have had some sort of sex, so yeah it's refreshing to actually see people who think like i do on this matter

yes i care as I want a practicing muslim

Primary school? blimey that's a bit early :O Yeah relationships when you're that age don't really amount to much and generally won't last long at all. I get the impression that there are a lot us out there that share that sentiment of really valuing a relationship. It's exactly as you say; investing so much time and trust with someone that breaking up and moving on, just seems odd and a little pointless in the grand scheme of things. Losing your virginity to them suddenly doesn't feel special anymore and for some people, lingers as a bad memory. True there is no logic to it when you really think about it. For some people it's just casual sex, but for some like you say there is that emotional attachment. There is that sense of risk of whether you trust that person enough and how long you've been with them.

I think the whole western culture of clubbing, getting drunk and having one night stands has really been detrimental in how people now value relationships. It's why I personally don't choose to get involved in that stuff. Yeah I have no issues with dating if it will eventually lead to marriage, that's totally acceptable in my opinion; that element of stability factors in too.

Everything you've said makes sense to me, it would be a lot easier if we could talk to our friends about these topics but everyone just seems to be divided on this particular one. That's sweet, was she Catholic? or was that the lifestyle she just decided to choose? Either way respect to her for making her own choices and walking her own path. Well you've met a guy online(lol) that shares the same mindset as yourself

Oh I just realised I was on anonymous, oops I guess is till haven't figured out how this thing works.

Yeah... I went to a pretty messed up primary school. I think it's a joke tbh, watching 10 year olds date and stuff. I mean obviously when I was that age I though we were so old and stuff but even then I found it weird and now looking back I actually realise how young we were and I'm even more creeped out. Everyone around me was really fast haha some people lost their virginity in year 8. And like when I see kids in year 7/8 dating and saying its 'love' it just makes me laugh but it also shows that we don't actually value relationships which is just sad.

Yup totally agree with you; I think it's the culture one one night stands that have made sex so casual if that makes sense. I don't think people see it as a special thing and that's kinda sad too. Because then when you have the real proper relationship it's not even special.

The school I go to hasn't really got many Muslims compared to primary and a lot of people find causal sex fine and think I'm weird for not wanting to have sex before I'm married so its always kinda awkward to have that conversation. And my friends a Hindu not Catholic, but she has pretty much the same outlook on life as me so I always have someone to talk to about stuff so I'm really grateful for that.

It's really refreshing to meet a guy with the same mind frame. Actually I lied haha I've got one guy friend who thinks like that but he's a practicing Muslim. But other than I haven't. Most guys seem to just want sex, even the Muslim ones, which inially I found weird but yeah I'm used to it now

Sorry I didn't realise how long that was. Haha it's just cause I genuainlly feel really passionate when it comes to topics like this and I go on for ages and ages

And stupid.

tbh most girls do care cos we've all been raised that way. However, some girls just arent as religious as others. A muslim girl having sex is obvs seen as a bigger then when a guy does it but only cos he can get away with it and she cant. You can tell when a girl has had sex multiple times.

Personally, I care about it. I wouldnt do it but there's no harm in trying other things here and there, just for the experience i guess.

Mashallah sister. Good to see you are following you religion.


Just before someone says that I am a close minded so and so or whatever let me also add that obviously there is Muslim girls who are having sex before marriage. According to Islam yes it is wrong but i wouldn't say that i would consider them bad people. Everyone can make a mistake and if its not a mistake then i guess its your own life to live.

Also to those who are saying that they would/have but also worry about a future husband finding out, you should be honest. As a Muslim guy, if i was going to marry a girl it would be because I love her for who she is. If she is a virgin then yeah that is good however if she told me that she isn't a virgin then that wouldn't personally put me off as like I said before everyone can make mistakes and you cant just call it all off due to the girl having had sex before, because you don't just love someone for being a virgin. You love them for who they are.

I'm still fairly new and getting use to things, still got lots to figure out ^^

Yeah it's very odd hearing that, it was never like that at my primary school. People use to tease each other but it never got to that level, new generation I guess... Looking back it would sound weird and creepy. Year 8 damn, sounds like they were very eager. What year do they teach sex education? Is it year 7 I can't even remember. Yeah it really isn't, just naivety sadly they'll realise that later on and feel foolish/upset.

Definitely it is casual now, that's the 'norm' now. It's lost that sense of meaning and like you say it will affect your real long term relationship. People will try and deny it and say it's not a big deal but I think the majority do care about it secretly. I'm generalising but you get the idea.

I'm sorry to hear that, must be tough with all that peer pressure but you sound like a strong willed individual. People are just too easy nowadays and finding someone who has set of morals and principles is quite rare. So yeah stay the way you are, people will always appreciate that about you. Yeah it's easier to cope in an environment like that when you have someone talk to in-person. See not everyone thinks you're weird! I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by like minded individuals to some extent.

Yeah same for me it's nice being on the same train of thought isn't it? Ha yeah there had to be at least one. That's a shame, it's almost like a social commentary on society as whole. But that's their own choices everyone has different relationship with God or set of principles. It's a shame because they're Muslim but that's not for me to say, only God can judge. It has become more common so can't be helped.

It's fine, yeah I keep writing so much ha. I hope I'm not boring you. Yeah likewise, I'm always interested in hearing what people have to say and could go on




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I think it’s kinda funny though; they don’t even know what dating is yet they do it anyway just to fit it. Lol ‘eager’ is one way to put it. But then again I think our year group was just special, I mean we are known throughout the school for being the ‘slut year’, even the teachers call us that… I also find it funny that year 8’s feel the need to snog and put in up of Facebook/Snapchat, I don’t see how they think that makes them look ‘cool’. And yup, year seven they teach it, that was an awkward time for everyone haha

Yeah and that’s the thing that saddens me the most; it’s the ‘norm’ and people get picked on if they haven’t done it. And as you said, some people do care secretly otherwise they wouldn’t lie to their current partners about how many they’ve had.

It’s not so much peer pressure because my friends really haven’t had the chance to do all of that stuff seeing as they’ve haven’t exactly been asked out much, but I know if they had the chance they would. And I guess I’ve got a good set of Asian friends who have mixed opinions. But I think it’s also to do with their culture; it’s the way they were brought up and so it’s fine for them and so it just slightly awkward to be around them when it does come up. But it’s nice to know not everyone thinks I’m weird lol

I’m not in the place to judge them and they can do what they want but I just find it so irritating that their parents think of them as their perfect Muslim child and put so much trust in them and they turn out like that. It makes me feel so bad for the parents because I’ve met some of their parents and they seem really nice. And its also annoying that they think its fine to suck someone off but then actual sex is sinful; that will never make sense to me.

For me it’s not so much because it’s against Islam, it’s more of how my brain is wired to think I guess. Like I could forgive a lot of things, like even if they weren’t practicing or drank or other stuff; I mean I could work on all that stuff but it’s just the whole sex thing that I could never come to terms with, I don’t even know why, I just think like that.
Ahaha no, I find it all interesting and it’d different to get a guy’s perspective on it

Sounds like she was generalizing to me, but I agree with what you have to say. People do commit mistakes, it's whether you learn from them that defines and helps you grow as a person; doesn't matter what faith or culture you come from.

Apologies if that sounds clichéd,

It doesn't sound cliched (well maybe a little bit ) but it's also diplomatic

Nope, same rules apply for men as it does for women. It just appears that men are able to get away with it because they're guys and have a stronger, 'less' controllable sex drive than girls so they have an excuse. Its still a sin though.

We follow this rule because we know Allah knows what's better for us. What if every single person on earth could sleep with who ever they wanted? I'm pretty sure infections through sex will be even more common than it is right now. We'll all be f****** like bunnies... Sorry for the vulgar language.


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People really need to stop trying to fit in, almost sounds a little depressing. Ha yeah I suppose, wow the 'slut year' and the teachers seriously call your year group that!? I like how outspoken they are haha. Probably because they've just entered high school and think its 'cool' and need an ego boost. Thankfully I don't use snapchat(I hear a lot of horror stories) but I know a lot of vain people on good ol'facebook. Ah I thought so; for some reason I was thinking it could of been either year 6 or 9, random. Yeah it was very awkward for us too, someone thought it would be a great idea showing us an actual birth on tv. You can imagine the conversations that took place after class ¬_¬

Kinda pathetic how it's seen to be uncool and you get picked on for not being the 'same'. People really need to make better use of their time and get a hobby or something... Exactly I honestly believe that, then we get threads showing up about people feeling guilty and asking for advice.

Yeah I think anyone would like all that attention, it's only the strong willed individuals that can turn away from it. Having a mixture of opinions and cultures is always a great opportunity to gain more knowledge. I'm sure they don't, it must be interesting for them to hear your views on the subject.

Of course but your right, especially if you've met their parents. It's like they are living a double life pretty much. Exactly it's called oral sex for a reason, it may not be penetrative but it's still a form of sex no matter how much people argue about it. They can sugarcoat it all they like but Islamically it is sinful. I'll never understand it too, unless perhaps I actually talk to someone like that but I doubt they would be open about it; even so I'll still think its wrong.

I think I understand what you mean, those other things you mentioned are like past times or habits, and can be changed or stopped. Yeah I know what you mean, I think to myself it could depend on the person maybe I'll be able to look past it but I know deep down I'll always be disappointed with them. Of course this is all theoretical, who know's how I'll feel at the time if it ever comes to that. There's nothing wrong with thinking the way you do because there a lots of us who share the same thoughts.

Ha thanks, likewise