was this abusive

My ex pressured me to sleep with him by telling me he would hurt someone if i didnt. i gave in and it hurt.
i was feeling really depressed and had some thoughts about dying. this one time he pushed his thumb on my throat and said 'this is what you want isn't it' i turned away, he kelp doing it, eventually he left me alone. He is popular, and i left facebook because of him. none of his friends know what he is like, they think i m bad because i didnt like him back. I never cheated (although he did once) i just had depression.

i got him to pay me back money he owed me for paying his rent. then i disconnected with him. I told him in email i wanted to meet new people and that i didnt want to live here anymore. He has not contacted me since, but i bumped into him the other day and he gave me a really dirty look. basically i feel so alone and disgusting.

i m trying to think what i did wrong. he kelp telling me he loved me, and i never felt the same perhaps i went out with him because of emotional pressure.

i ve lost my friends and i have a bad time finding employment due to anxiety.

any tips? advice? thank yous

That can be classified as rape because your ex made you sleep with him even though you didn't want to.. :/ You did nothing wrong OP!xx

I'm pretty sure that's not the definition of rape...

My ex pressured me to sleep with him by telling me he would hurt someone if i didnt. i gave in and it hurt.
i was feeling really depressed and had some thoughts about dying. this one time he pushed his thumb on my throat and said 'this is what you want isn't it' i turned away, he kelp doing it, eventually he left me alone. He is popular, and i left facebook because of him. none of his friends know what he is like, they think i m bad because i didnt like him back. I never cheated (although he did once) i just had depression.

i got him to pay me back money he owed me for paying his rent. then i disconnected with him. I told him in email i wanted to meet new people and that i didnt want to live here anymore. He has not contacted me since, but i bumped into him the other day and he gave me a really dirty look. basically i feel so alone and disgusting.

i m trying to think what i did wrong. he kelp telling me he loved me, and i never felt the same perhaps i went out with him because of emotional pressure.

i ve lost my friends and i have a bad time finding employment due to anxiety.

any tips? advice? thank yous

No, it isn't "definitely" rape.

Well actually it isn't at all clear cut whether or not is was rape. Legally part of the definition of rape is that person "A does not reasonably believe that B consents" but still carries on with sex. "Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents".
Unless you say "yes" then, even if you don't say "no", it could still be classed as rape. It's a bit of a grey area.
On the other hand OP, that guy sounds like a nightmare and you are definitely better off without him. Even if it wasn't rape, it was an abusive relationship.

Aye but in the law the consent doesn't count as consent if it was coerced, which it seems was the case. "said he would hurt someone if I didn't" sounds like coercion to me.

Rape: sexual penetration of someone who does not willingly give their consent.

It is definitely rape. If you don't agree, feel free to chat with my husband who has been a criminal solicitor for over 5 years.

I didn't read the section about blackmail.

Also, I don't give a **** about your husband or what he does. It has no relevance to the thread.

How did you not read it? It's literally the first sentence. You wouldn't know what this topic is even about without reading about the blackmail.

My ex pressured me to sleep with him by telling me he would hurt someone if i didnt. i gave in and it hurt.
i was feeling really depressed and had some thoughts about dying. this one time he pushed his thumb on my throat and said 'this is what you want isn't it' i turned away, he kelp doing it, eventually he left me alone. He is popular, and i left facebook because of him. none of his friends know what he is like, they think i m bad because i didnt like him back. I never cheated (although he did once) i just had depression.

i got him to pay me back money he owed me for paying his rent. then i disconnected with him. I told him in email i wanted to meet new people and that i didnt want to live here anymore. He has not contacted me since, but i bumped into him the other day and he gave me a really dirty look. basically i feel so alone and disgusting.

i m trying to think what i did wrong. he kelp telling me he loved me, and i never felt the same perhaps i went out with him because of emotional pressure.

i ve lost my friends and i have a bad time finding employment due to anxiety.

any tips? advice? thank yous

I didn't read the section about blackmail.

Also, I don't give a **** about your husband or what he does. It has no relevance to the thread.