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Modernising a monologue

How would you modernise this monologue:

id gone in to try something on. It was an idea of my own. Mother had been against it, and so had the assistant, but I insisted. As soon as I tried it on I knew they had been right. It just didn't suit me at all. I looked silly i the thing. Well, this girl had brought the dress up from the workroom and when the assistant, miss Francis had asked her a question, to show us whatshe meant, this girl had held the dress up as if she was wearing it. And it just suited her. She was the right type for it, just as I was the wrong. She was a very pretty girl too, with big dark eyes, and that didn't make it any better. Well, when I tried the thing on and looked at myself and knew it was all wrong. I caught sight of this girl smiling at Miss Francis, as if to say doesn't she look awful and I was absolutely furious. I was very rude to both of them and then I went to the manager and told him that this girl had been very impertinent. How could I know what would happen afterwards? If she'd have been some plain miserable little creature I don't suppose I would have done it. But she was very pretty and looked as though she could take care of herself. I couldn't be sorry for her.


I want want to try and keep her as middle class as possible, but set it in present day rather than pre-war. Any help is appreciated. :smile::smile:
Original post by ThatTeenGirl03
How would you modernise this monologue:

id gone in to try something on. It was an idea of my own. Mother had been against it, and so had the assistant, but I insisted. As soon as I tried it on I knew they had been right. It just didn't suit me at all. I looked silly i the thing. Well, this girl had brought the dress up from the workroom and when the assistant, miss Francis had asked her a question, to show us whatshe meant, this girl had held the dress up as if she was wearing it. And it just suited her. She was the right type for it, just as I was the wrong. She was a very pretty girl too, with big dark eyes, and that didn't make it any better. Well, when I tried the thing on and looked at myself and knew it was all wrong. I caught sight of this girl smiling at Miss Francis, as if to say doesn't she look awful and I was absolutely furious. I was very rude to both of them and then I went to the manager and told him that this girl had been very impertinent. How could I know what would happen afterwards? If she'd have been some plain miserable little creature I don't suppose I would have done it. But she was very pretty and looked as though she could take care of herself. I couldn't be sorry for her.


I want want to try and keep her as middle class as possible, but set it in present day rather than pre-war. Any help is appreciated. :smile::smile:

Heya, I'm going to put this in the English forum for you as you should get more responses there.

You should also check out the forum to see if there's any other threads there which might be helpful to you!

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=82

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