Black girls & TSR.
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Original post by TheDaylighter
Haha I've been natural for a good few years too and before that my hair was only ever texlaxed. After about two years of being natural my hair stated breaking like crazy and I wanted to texlax too but I finally jumped on the protein shampoo bandwagon and it stopped! I'm not saying it'll be the same for your hair but there could be something you haven't tried yet/done in a while that your hair needs?
Although I tend not to style my hair that much so maybe your hair just can't handle all that manipulation on its natural state. I have very kinky hair but all I do is keep it stretched and bun it out out it into two French braids. I kinda sounds like I'm trying to convince you here but I just hope you don't make a decision you'll regret, you do what's right for you boo
Although I tend not to style my hair that much so maybe your hair just can't handle all that manipulation on its natural state. I have very kinky hair but all I do is keep it stretched and bun it out out it into two French braids. I kinda sounds like I'm trying to convince you here but I just hope you don't make a decision you'll regret, you do what's right for you boo
Aww thank you. The thing is since October I've been trying to grow my hair and now I've come to the harsh reality that my hair is thick but very fragile and probably won't grow in its natural state. It breaks so easily. Its 4b/4c. Now I'm just starting to think that if my hair is texlaxed itd be easier and if it doesn't grow then oh well it isn't growing anyway. It'd still be easier to manage lool.
I've been finger detangling and all that seems to do is keep shed hairs in place.
Recently started using aphogee really strong two step protein treatment (using the keratin (soft protein treatment) one for a while now). My hair I still breaking.
I've tried pretty loose buns and they are the reason my edges ****ed up lol!
Tried mini twists and they took too long considering that they get fuzzy and tangle so quickly. I've tried henna which didn't do much and don't want to try it again coz I wanna dye my hair in the future.
I've tried moisturising daily and my shrinkage is just way too much so it causes tangles. One think I'm hoping texlaxing could improve.
Ive tried more.
I still haven't decided yet but if I do it and don't like it then I don't mind transitioning again. If all my hair falls out then I'll just have to depend of some good twist extensions lool
Can I just ask what your hair type and length is
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll see how I feel
Original post by Ambrosia_angel
I actually had to stop reading the threads and stick to the medicine forum. They were getting way too much and I didn't see why the mods were waiting so long to take them down. The only reason I'm still on tsr is because of the medicine forum ONLY. I wonder how many others had to leave because of the racist threads esp against black women and Muslims.
Funny because in my short life I've only had one black guy find me attractive. The rest white/not black. But yet after reading those threads, they made me feel ugly. Asking stupid questions like why don't black men find me attractive etc..
Please don't feel bad. People out there will like you for you. If you don't have any other reason to then get of tsr or stay on the sections specific to your self betterment.
If you want you can PM me x
Funny because in my short life I've only had one black guy find me attractive. The rest white/not black. But yet after reading those threads, they made me feel ugly. Asking stupid questions like why don't black men find me attractive etc..
Please don't feel bad. People out there will like you for you. If you don't have any other reason to then get of tsr or stay on the sections specific to your self betterment.
If you want you can PM me x
Yep, I'm glad you know how I feel. Good God, I also hated those threads where black girls were looking for self validation from white guys. It put me off TSR for weeks.
I'm glad other people see that black girls are put down on TSR a lot. That's why I made this thread - to defend us, and to see if there are any other black girls hurt/offended by the bull****.
I'll PM you sometime!
Original post by xoflower
I don't understand some people.
How does a black women wearing straight hair make her look white or make her want to look white?! Because she will still look black lol. Also, white women are not the only ones with straight hair
How does a black women wearing straight hair make her look white or make her want to look white?! Because she will still look black lol. Also, white women are not the only ones with straight hair
"You have reached the limit of how many posts you can rate today" Dang it.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey I love that you've used 'some' and I guess that's true for those females. But a lot of people on here see it as black girls in general, and I'm trying to discard that notion because it's 100% false. Of course 'some' black girls see it as a way to be beautiful, and don't like their hair/themselves and what not. Some other race girls do same with other stuff to be beautiful as well, it's not just some black females. Either way, they should be able to choose to do what they want to do, regardless.
I can't really stand how people single out this topic when there's loads or similar trends with other races, and put down EVERY black girl who wears weave, most of them ignorant about it. Do you see what I'm saying here?
And I think 'depend' is a strong word here. Most people don't depend on it, and they can change btw braids and natural hair. Also even if they wear it frequently, it might be a preference over braids bc it's easy and versatile, or braids pull out your edges and all sorts. Esp the girls growing out their natural hair. I don't really see how that equates to not loving oneself.
And that's you. You wouldn't go for it while your hair is healthy, that up to you. Some other women would. And I think they should be allowed to do what they want without fear of prejudice.
I love that you've used 'some' and I guess that's true for those females. But a lot of people on here see it as black girls in general, and I'm trying to discard that notion because it's 100% false. Of course 'some' black girls see it as a way to be beautiful, and don't like their hair/themselves and what not. Some other race girls do same with other stuff to be beautiful as well, it's not just some black females. Either way, they should be able to choose to do what they want to do, regardless. I can't really stand how people single out this topic when there's loads or similar trends with other races, and put down EVERY black girl who wears weave, most of them ignorant about it. Do you see what I'm saying here?
And I think 'depend' is a strong word here. Most people don't depend on it, and they can change btw braids and natural hair. Also even if they wear it frequently, it might be a preference over braids bc it's easy and versatile, or braids pull out your edges and all sorts. Esp the girls growing out their natural hair. I don't really see how that equates to not loving oneself.
And that's you. You wouldn't go for it while your hair is healthy, that up to you. Some other women would. And I think they should be allowed to do what they want without fear of prejudice.
Yes but as a black women I focus on the issues that affect black women and feeling that our own hair is bad is one of the issues.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. WE are the only race where a good percentage of women wear hair from another ethnicities head whilst they have a head of THICK HEALTHY hair themselves. If you want to then go ahead. But in my opinion, it is a sad issue that should be addressed and as black women we need to stop making excuses for it. Its fact that a lot of black men hate weaves. I feel like white men are more open to them because they don't fully understand the psychological reasons why black women wear weaves. In our community hair is a really big issue to us. Please understand that and don't make excuses. I'm not saying that black women shouldn't wear weaves but please don't make excuses for something so obvious.
One thing also I've noticed is that weaves and wigs are big in pop culture whereas black women who own businesses and are CEOs tend to have curly/kinky hair/natural hair. I think this places into the issue too.
Original post by TheDaylighter
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Original post by Ambrosia_angel
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Hey.. Just being a little nosey here. All I'm seeing is 2b/4b/4c etc. How do you determine what grade your hair is? I tried to research it once and I found it so confusing. My hair isn't all that curly, it's soft but the edges break easily no matter what i do. I've been natural for about 6 years and I've only seen major growth when I've had weaves in, but my edges always suffer.
Braids are easier but they pull out my hair and when I tried to experiment with natural hair styles my hair broke off. I find looking after my natural hair time consuming, I've tried using coconut oil, castor oil and made home made hair remedies. In the end I end up going back to weaves which tends to be costly. I have braids in now and my hair is still breaking at the edges, I use braid spray and put gel around the front braids to stop it from pulling too much. I think I'm going to weave it again, but I feel the cycle keeps repeating itself and I never actually find a solution for my edges breaking. As a kid all my mum ever put in my hair was hair grease and my hair was fine, so maybe I should go back to basics?
Do you have any tips?? I would really appreciate it and I hope my post makes sense lol
Original post by Nickierose21
Yeah that's how I am with both black and white guys. I prefer guys who are more intermediate for personal reasons. So for me im not really attracted to dark black men and I'm not really into paler white guys. I normally am not attracted to men in skin types 1 or 6 and 5 is minimum. 2 is limited too. More in the 3-4 range. It's because that's where my own range is people naturally seem to gravitate towards what they are ink. That's how it is for me.
What the hell is this about? This is gross; you have a ****ed up scale (or should I say 'range') that you actually use to decide who to be attracted to
Why not just look at the person as a whole package.
Honestly this crap you've written is more disgusting than just saying 'I prefer Africans' or saying 'I prefer Caucasians' because of how eugenically specific you've made it
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
In answer to the OP, psychologists put it down to low self esteem:
"This is one of the oldest accounts of why people stereotype and have prejudice: It makes us feel better about ourselves."
"When we feel bad about ourselves, we can denigrate other people, and that makes us feel better about ourselves."
http://www.livescience.com/12976-esteem-racial-prejudice-psychology.html
On a site like TSR it is even more likely to find people with low-self esteem who are young and suffering from pressure of education, careers and relationships. I don't think it's any coincidence that the most sexist, anti-female posts come from those who have failed with women just like I don't think it's any surprise that you find more prejudice towards minorities, particularly the more 'vulnerable' (i.e. black women and Asian men) in this kind on environment. Such negative views only show that individual's state of mind, not much else.
"This is one of the oldest accounts of why people stereotype and have prejudice: It makes us feel better about ourselves."
"When we feel bad about ourselves, we can denigrate other people, and that makes us feel better about ourselves."
http://www.livescience.com/12976-esteem-racial-prejudice-psychology.html
On a site like TSR it is even more likely to find people with low-self esteem who are young and suffering from pressure of education, careers and relationships. I don't think it's any coincidence that the most sexist, anti-female posts come from those who have failed with women just like I don't think it's any surprise that you find more prejudice towards minorities, particularly the more 'vulnerable' (i.e. black women and Asian men) in this kind on environment. Such negative views only show that individual's state of mind, not much else.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
You mean most girls in southeast london act uncivilised? It really isn't a racial thing, stop making it seem like it is.
Exactly. Two out of the six girls who got into Oxford in my school were black AND from south-east London. And we all know how Oxford try to get the best of the best. Your generalizations are stupid.
Original post by xoflower
I don't understand some people.
How does a black women wearing straight hair make her look white or make her want to look white?! Because she will still look black lol. Also, white women are not the only ones with straight hair
How does a black women wearing straight hair make her look white or make her want to look white?! Because she will still look black lol. Also, white women are not the only ones with straight hair
You're right she will still be black. Straight hair doesn't make her look white. Sadly some people associate straight hair with white people. I've never thought of it like that. If I want straight hair, I want straight hair, it's never that deep. I never wake up in the morning and think ' you know what I want to look like I'm another race today'. I simply want a change. I've had people ask me why I wear my hair the way I do and it's because I want to. I hate when people bring race into it, it's just hair. Some people like there hair straight, curly or whatever.
Original post by Ambrosia_angel
Yes but as a black women I focus on the issues that affect black women and feeling that our own hair is bad is one of the issues.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. WE are the only race where a good percentage of women wear hair from another ethnicities head whilst they have a head of THICK HEALTHY hair themselves. If you want to then go ahead. But in my opinion, it is a sad issue that should be addressed and as black women we need to stop making excuses for it. Its fact that a lot of black men hate weaves. I feel like white men are more open to them because they don't fully understand the psychological reasons why black women wear weaves. In our community hair is a really big issue to us. Please understand that and don't make excuses. I'm not saying that black women shouldn't wear weaves but please don't make excuses for something so obvious.
One thing also I've noticed is that weaves and wigs are big in pop culture whereas black women who own businesses and are CEOs tend to have curly/kinky hair/natural hair. I think this places into the issue too.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. WE are the only race where a good percentage of women wear hair from another ethnicities head whilst they have a head of THICK HEALTHY hair themselves. If you want to then go ahead. But in my opinion, it is a sad issue that should be addressed and as black women we need to stop making excuses for it. Its fact that a lot of black men hate weaves. I feel like white men are more open to them because they don't fully understand the psychological reasons why black women wear weaves. In our community hair is a really big issue to us. Please understand that and don't make excuses. I'm not saying that black women shouldn't wear weaves but please don't make excuses for something so obvious.
One thing also I've noticed is that weaves and wigs are big in pop culture whereas black women who own businesses and are CEOs tend to have curly/kinky hair/natural hair. I think this places into the issue too.
It's a shock to me that some black women feel that way. Weaves are popular in pop culture, but braids and afro hair are not uncommon. Such a generalisation. I've seen/know more black CEO's and corporate workers who wear weaves than braids or natural hair due to the time factor in the morning. And when they have their natural hair out, the most beautiful thing is how they flaunt it.
I'm not making excuses for anything, I'm merely stating the facts. If we have a high percentage of women with weaves, I would think you know we have an even higher percentage of women with braids and natural hair, seeing as they're cheaper and not everyone has the money to fork out for them.
A lot of black men you've seen/know hate weaves, the ones I've seen/know/heard of don't mind it. If it's the issue of fake hair, again a lot of women regardless of race wear extensions. You never really hear them get **** for it but we do under the pretence of different textures. What bull**** is that?
Yep, we will go for it/go ahead with it, thank you. That's your opinion, and I don't really think that's the popular opinion within the black community, but you're entitled to yours and I'm entitled to mine, however little sense it makes to me.
NO one in the black community feels that their hair is bad, you should know this. I've never heard someone say black hair is bad, all I hear is that our hair is extremely beautiful, especially in the natural state.
Tbh. I think it's extremely absurd that people would equate wearing extensions of a different hair texture as 'not liking yourself'. Don't forget many black girls rock afro kinky weaves and the likes a lot.
If you focus on the issues that affect black women, there's a ton more serious ones that weaves. And if you think about it rationally, weaves are a non issue.
Original post by awkwardshortguy
Never even heard of weaves in my life before.
You've heard of hair extensions though, right? It's pretty much the same thing
Original post by phunky_fresh
You're right she will still be black. Straight hair doesn't make her look white. Sadly some people associate straight hair with white people. I've never thought of it like that. If I want straight hair, I want straight hair, it's never that deep. I never wake up in the morning and think ' you know what I want to look like I'm another race today'. I simply want a change. I've had people ask me why I wear my hair the way I do and it's because I want to. I hate when people bring race into it, it's just hair. Some people like there hair straight, curly or whatever.
I think it's important to also point out a lot of white women with curly hair also try to straighten it. The John Freida Frizz Ease range is not for black women is it
Original post by hi-zen-berg
What the hell is this about? This is gross; you have a ****ed up scale (or should I say 'range') that you actually use to decide who to be attracted to
Why not just look at the person as a whole package.
Honestly this c rap you've written is more disgusting than just saying 'I prefer Africans' or saying 'I prefer Caucasians' because of how eugenically specific you've made it
Posted from TSR Mobile
Why not just look at the person as a whole package.
Honestly this c rap you've written is more disgusting than just saying 'I prefer Africans' or saying 'I prefer Caucasians' because of how eugenically specific you've made it
Posted from TSR Mobile
There's no point complaining about people disregarding black girls if you (nickirose?) do the same to other races.
Original post by Ambrosia_angel
Aww thank you. The thing is since October I've been trying to grow my hair and now I've come to the harsh reality that my hair is thick but very fragile and probably won't grow in its natural state. It breaks so easily. Its 4b/4c. Now I'm just starting to think that if my hair is texlaxed itd be easier and if it doesn't grow then oh well it isn't growing anyway. It'd still be easier to manage lool.
I've been finger detangling and all that seems to do is keep shed hairs in place.
Recently started using aphogee really strong two step protein treatment (using the keratin (soft protein treatment) one for a while now). My hair I still breaking.
I've tried pretty loose buns and they are the reason my edges ****ed up lol!
Tried mini twists and they took too long considering that they get fuzzy and tangle so quickly. I've tried henna which didn't do much and don't want to try it again coz I wanna dye my hair in the future.
I've tried moisturising daily and my shrinkage is just way too much so it causes tangles. One think I'm hoping texlaxing could improve.
Ive tried more.
I still haven't decided yet but if I do it and don't like it then I don't mind transitioning again. If all my hair falls out then I'll just have to depend of some good twist extensions lool
Can I just ask what your hair type and length is
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll see how I feel
I've been finger detangling and all that seems to do is keep shed hairs in place.
Recently started using aphogee really strong two step protein treatment (using the keratin (soft protein treatment) one for a while now). My hair I still breaking.
I've tried pretty loose buns and they are the reason my edges ****ed up lol!
Tried mini twists and they took too long considering that they get fuzzy and tangle so quickly. I've tried henna which didn't do much and don't want to try it again coz I wanna dye my hair in the future.
I've tried moisturising daily and my shrinkage is just way too much so it causes tangles. One think I'm hoping texlaxing could improve.
Ive tried more.
I still haven't decided yet but if I do it and don't like it then I don't mind transitioning again. If all my hair falls out then I'll just have to depend of some good twist extensions lool
Can I just ask what your hair type and length is
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll see how I feel
You're welcome
I know the struggle, if I got too frustrated at my hair, instead of trying to work on it like you do, I used to just braid it up and take it down a month later to have an even bigger mess to deal with
Have you tried steaming ad pre-pooing? They might be worth a shot. When my hair was texlaxed it didn't ever get past neck length and was gradually getting thinner, I went natural so I could get fuller hair. It doesn't sound like you have a problem with volume so texlaxing might not be so bad for you.I only really started to gain length when I started finger detangling but I hate pulling out clumps of shed hair. I used to comb more often than I detangle now so it didn't seem as bad then. Did the breakage reduce at all with the protein treatment? Because if so that's progress at least! Also do you check to see if hairs are shedding or breaking? I use Jamaican black castor oil on my edges because they started to thin out but they're back to normal now
Mini twists are a nope from me too and henna is far too much mess for little reward.Ah right go for it then, you aren't disillusioned or anything about what you'll get from texlaxing so I don't think you'll be disappointed.
I have fine 4C hair that's about an inch longer than APL.
If anyone thinks wearing weaves means a women doesn't love her hair or herself even, then that's just silly.
Its just hair! I am not my hair and if it isn't your hair, why care about what the next person does with their hair?
I actually love having the option to be versatile with my hairstyles. I love my natural hair and I love that I can buy weaves/ extensions when I want a change.
Its just hair! I am not my hair and if it isn't your hair, why care about what the next person does with their hair?
I actually love having the option to be versatile with my hairstyles. I love my natural hair and I love that I can buy weaves/ extensions when I want a change.
Original post by phunky_fresh
Hey.. Just being a little nosey here. All I'm seeing is 2b/4b/4c etc. How do you determine what grade your hair is? I tried to research it once and I found it so confusing. My hair isn't all that curly, it's soft but the edges break easily no matter what i do. I've been natural for about 6 years and I've only seen major growth when I've had weaves in, but my edges always suffer.
Braids are easier but they pull out my hair and when I tried to experiment with natural hair styles my hair broke off. I find looking after my natural hair time consuming, I've tried using coconut oil, castor oil and made home made hair remedies. In the end I end up going back to weaves which tends to be costly. I have braids in now and my hair is still breaking at the edges, I use braid spray and put gel around the front braids to stop it from pulling too much. I think I'm going to weave it again, but I feel the cycle keeps repeating itself and I never actually find a solution for my edges breaking. As a kid all my mum ever put in my hair was hair grease and my hair was fine, so maybe I should go back to basics?
Do you have any tips?? I would really appreciate it and I hope my post makes sense lol
Braids are easier but they pull out my hair and when I tried to experiment with natural hair styles my hair broke off. I find looking after my natural hair time consuming, I've tried using coconut oil, castor oil and made home made hair remedies. In the end I end up going back to weaves which tends to be costly. I have braids in now and my hair is still breaking at the edges, I use braid spray and put gel around the front braids to stop it from pulling too much. I think I'm going to weave it again, but I feel the cycle keeps repeating itself and I never actually find a solution for my edges breaking. As a kid all my mum ever put in my hair was hair grease and my hair was fine, so maybe I should go back to basics?
Do you have any tips?? I would really appreciate it and I hope my post makes sense lol
Its determined by the pattern an individual strand of your hair takes and there's charts online that you can see if you fit into. The number is the group, with 1 being the loosest and 4 the kinkiest and the letter is the subcategory, with A being the loosest and C the kinkiest.
Hair typing isn't really necessary and isn't always the best way to figure out what your hair needs but it can be useful to find other people with a similar pattern for styling tips etc.
Maybe your edges get pulled too tight in your styles? Try asking whoever braids your hair to leave your edges out or braid them loosely. Oils tend to work best when you layer them over something moisturising like water or a leave in conditioner. Keep experimenting and you'll find something that works, there's also write a few articles online that introduce the basics of black hair care. I hope I've answered your questions properly!
I love how black women are in here telling their side of the tale. I love how we're in here defending ourselves and letting people know that they can't constantly put us down on here for something so trivial and it has to end.
Hmm, are some people threatened by black women with weaves? I wonder....
I find that the people that tend to put us down are people from other races. You get the odd self righteous natural hair black girl once in a while, or the odd black girl who genuinely thinks weaves are SO wrong.
Either way, most black girls with weaves these days are growing out their natural hair. Anddd, even if they aren't/aren't planning to, they're entitled to play with their look however the hell they'd like. As are other race girls.
Stop giving us crap for it.
Hmm, are some people threatened by black women with weaves? I wonder....
I find that the people that tend to put us down are people from other races. You get the odd self righteous natural hair black girl once in a while, or the odd black girl who genuinely thinks weaves are SO wrong.
Either way, most black girls with weaves these days are growing out their natural hair. Anddd, even if they aren't/aren't planning to, they're entitled to play with their look however the hell they'd like. As are other race girls.
Stop giving us crap for it.
I don't think TSR is the only place where anti-blackness happens, being black myself i can tell you it happens everywhere and i doubt it will stop in my lifetime. A lot of people base their perception of black girls on vines they see and the "ghetto" stereotype, I've just learnt to ignore it and it use to phase me when I looked for approval but not anymore. I think a lot of black girls who make these threads look for some sort of approval that they're beautiful and that people do like them, and i don't blame them because we grow up in a society that labels black characteristics as the undesirable. I don't really care about what TSR people think about black girls because 1. most are trolls 2. i don't know them and they don't know me and 3. if you can base a judgement on a person purely because of their skin colour, i don't think i wanna be you friend/go out with you anyway.
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