The Student Room Group

Online relationship. But we've never spoke!

I have been messaging a girl on the regular that I matched with on Tinder for the past six months, which is a long time, but in all that time we've never spoke. She got my number though since we usually message through Whatsapp and today when I looked at my phone after it started ringing I saw it was her that was calling and I didn't answer because I feel like a bad first impression on a voice conversation could have ruined everything and put all my months hard work on instant messaging to waste. I know its ridiculous for me to say this given the circumstances but I feel like I like this girl and it would be nothing but common sense to try to take things further.

I guess I am just looking for motivation to man up and stop being such a woofter because I know that if you want something then you have to go out there and take it at least before someone else does.
Reply 1
mr anonymous... you've earnt a call from her after 6 months of stimulating and engaging conversation, with who i hope is a very fine lady on tinder because you both swiped in the same direction! if you've been sincere about your feelings with her all this time perhaps she'd really appreciate how nervous you are if you told her. i presume she might have been nervous as well if she didn't try calling sooner either.

call back!
Reply 2
Original post by jazzybob
if you've been sincere about your feelings with her all this time perhaps she'd really appreciate how nervous you are if you told her. i presume she might have been nervous as well if she didn't try calling sooner either.


A girl can be nervous and that's fine. But I am a man and there is no room for being nervous. I have to be confident, assured, charming and witty and if I make the slightest mistake then I'll get the chop. Simple as. And to add to the point, I'm not very comfortable on the phone. But I understand that if you want to win a game of poker, sometimes you have to go all in. Otherwise slowly but surely you will lose the game.
Just call her. Be yourself. You can't plan phone conversations, let it flow and please grow some balls. 6 months is a hell of a long time to be texting someone alone. It only takes a couple seconds for someone else to swipe yes on one of her pics and bam she's on to the next one - just like that. Try not focus too much on the little stuff, if you are attempting to be confident hiding behind the phone isn't a way of faking it. The girl may start thinking you are a catfish if you keep this up. PICK UP THE PHONE NOW AND DIAL HER NUMBER!
Reply 4
If she's ringing you; least you know it ain't a catfishing guy
Original post by Anonymous
A girl can be nervous and that's fine. But I am a man and there is no room for being nervous. I have to be confident, assured, charming and witty and if I make the slightest mistake then I'll get the chop. Simple as. And to add to the point, I'm not very comfortable on the phone. But I understand that if you want to win a game of poker, sometimes you have to go all in. Otherwise slowly but surely you will lose the game.


if you get the 'chop' because of that, then ... you don't really want her lol
Reply 6
Original post by vanillapod
if you get the 'chop' because of that, then ... you don't really want her lol


Girls are ruthless. In comparison to us men, they have so much choice available to them that they can afford to be so. Just watch those nature documentaries and you'll see the extraordinary lengths that the male animals go through in order to woo their female counterparts, whether it be by putting on an extraordinary display or putting their life on the life.

I have high hopes for this girl though, which will probably be the cause of my eventual downfall. If I didn't give a monkeys then I wouldn't get into such a hissy fit about calling her.
Original post by Anonymous
A girl can be nervous and that's fine. But I am a man and there is no room for being nervous. I have to be confident, assured, charming and witty and if I make the slightest mistake then I'll get the chop. Simple as. And to add to the point, I'm not very comfortable on the phone. But I understand that if you want to win a game of poker, sometimes you have to go all in. Otherwise slowly but surely you will lose the game.

Jesus christ what
Original post by Anonymous
Girls are ruthless. In comparison to us men, they have so much choice available to them that they can afford to be so. Just watch those nature documentaries and you'll see the extraordinary lengths that the male animals go through in order to woo their female counterparts, whether it be by putting on an extraordinary display or putting their life on the life.

I have high hopes for this girl though, which will probably be the cause of my eventual downfall. If I didn't give a monkeys then I wouldn't get into such a hissy fit about calling her.


i think you're a bit extreme in your views lool but you just care a lot/are scared; don't worry
Original post by Anonymous
Girls are ruthless. In comparison to us men, they have so much choice available to them that they can afford to be so. Just watch those nature documentaries and you'll see the extraordinary lengths that the male animals go through in order to woo their female counterparts, whether it be by putting on an extraordinary display or putting their life on the life.

I have high hopes for this girl though, which will probably be the cause of my eventual downfall. If I didn't give a monkeys then I wouldn't get into such a hissy fit about calling her.


sincere response?

or clever ruse?
Out of curiosity, okay, desperation, is there anyone that is offering an alternative plan of action? Or are you going to force my hand to call her? In any case, I think it's a bit too late to do so tonight.
Original post by Anonymous
A girl can be nervous and that's fine. But I am a man and there is no room for being nervous. I have to be confident, assured, charming and witty and if I make the slightest mistake then I'll get the chop. Simple as. And to add to the point, I'm not very comfortable on the phone. But I understand that if you want to win a game of poker, sometimes you have to go all in. Otherwise slowly but surely you will lose the game.


and if you were more confident in person you would have met her by now? how does this sit with your idea of 'man'?

don't listen to all this 'being a man' crap and **** all the dating tips it sounds like you've been reading in the wrong magazines. just be yourself... as you have been in your messages. if you start acting all differently now she'll sense it. "that's not something you would usually say..."

i suggest you call her... you ask how her day's been... and try to continue some kind of whatsapp conversation you've had.

men are allowed to be vulnerable... and you're showing your vulnerabilities here. be vulnerable together about whatever it is... and help yourselves overcome those vulnerabilities together. anyway, it depends on what the relationship means to you. i suspect this is a huge deal for you if it's been 6 months chat... on an app where people pretty much just hook up and ****.
Pro tip dude: when you call her, stand in front of a mirror during the call. Smile at yourself and make sure you LOOK happy, because believe it or not this will translate in your voice and she will be able to HEAR that you're happy and smiling.

Good luck!


Posted from TSR Mobile
Ok, rather than focusing on yourself, focus on how much effort and balls it needed for her to phone you ! Once you do that you will realise that she probably feels exactly the same way you do AND you didn't answer. She will not do that again and be rejected again.

It is up to you to emapthise and ring her and say you understand what a lot of courage it needed to ring you and you are sorry you chickened out in the spur of the moment. Once you have rung each other and spoken, you will have broken the ice and away you go...

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