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Men who cry...

What's your take on them? I recently spoke with a female friend (I'm female also), and she avoids what she terms 'cryers'. Apparentely it makes her feel uncomfortable, and she'll ditch them as soon as they do it. Shallow? Personally, I find it endearing, provided that they have a legitimate reason for it (loss/anger/etc). Obviously if he's crying 24/7, or because he stubbed his toe, or someone called him a name, that's different... He obviously has deeper issues. But I think that if he trusts you enough to be able to cry in front of you, it can only be a good thing? I'd much rather he cried than lashed out at inanimate objects. Or another person.

But my friend's view makes me wonder, what do other girls think on this subject? Do you want him to be 'macho' all the time? Maybe I'm biased, because all the men who've been in my life have taken the 'crying is a sin' view, and their pent up emotion has manifested itself in some other way.

Guys feel free to participate too :P Though for the majority of you I imagine it'd be a bit difficult to put yourself in the place of a girl. Actually, it will be interesting to see what guys think of this too...

Reply 1

ph9

10

i used to be like your friend - maaaajor turn off.

i do love the macho type man, but a few tears from the eyes every now and then wouldn't bother me. i'd probably love it - i like a man who can let his sensitive side out sometimes.

on a regular basis though... i can't say i'd enjoy it.

Reply 2

squigaletta

It doesn't bother me, like you said as long as it's not constant (and I doubt many guys would like a girl who cried at the slightest thing either) then it's just a vent for emotion.

Reply 3

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

I think it's pathetic. Men should be in control of themselves.

Of course I'm talking about crying at stupid crap, not if your mum's just died or something.

Reply 4

la fille danse

17

"Men who cry" is redundant. You might as well just say "men."

People cry. That's life.

Reply 5

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

more adventurous

"Men who cry" is redundant. You might as well just say "men."

People cry. That's life.

Some of us almost never cry. I personally haven't cried in several years.

Reply 6

fairycakes

12

what do u mean 'criers'? as in they cry over what to be termed criers?

Reply 7

ph9

10

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

I personally haven't cried in several years.

that figures :biggrin:

crying is a human thing. everybody needs a cry sometimes - some less than others - but everybody needs to. it's mentally healthy.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

more adventurous

"Men who cry" is redundant. You might as well just say "men."

People cry. That's life.

I don't understand what you mean..?

If you mean that all men cry, then I would disagree. I have never seen my father cry, not even when his mother died. Same for my brother. I think that a lot of them hold it back.

Reply 9

la fille danse

17

Anonymous

I don't understand what you mean..?

If you mean that all men cry, then I would disagree. I have never seen my father cry, not even when his mother died. Same for my brother. I think that a lot of them hold it back.

I'm pretty sure most people (gender irrelevant) try to avoid crying when other people are watching, whenever possible. That doesn't mean they don't cry...

Reply 10

Spiffy

11

I think its fine for a guy to cry, ive got no problem with it as long as its not as you said, crying because they stub their toe lol, i dont think many people cry because of that.

As for your friend though, ditching someone as soon as they cry just seems really harsh! If he's crying for a legitimate reason then she shouldnt be thinking about herself like that. "Oh you're crying, you're dumped", its wrong IMO.

Reply 11

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

Spiffy

I think its fine for a guy to cry for the same reasons as a woman, ive got no problem with it as long as its not as you said, crying because they stub their toe lol, i dont think many people cry because of that.

Women cry for all sorts of stupid reasons. They cry because they've been insulted, for example. I've seen my sister cry because she didn't get the mark she felt she deserved in an exam.

Most men wouldn't dream of crying at stuff like that.

Reply 12

fairycakes

12

yeah, i'm confused...
the only guy i've seen cry is my ex, when we were making major decisions about our relationship, and that made me realise how much he actually cared about it.
but actually...i don't think i've seen many of my girl friends crying unless it's over major relationship problems, which doen'st happen much anyway...

Reply 13

Lykabelle

12

not those who cry on a regular basis. It can be quite endearing to see a sensitive side to a man and it's normal to cry on a few occasions. I'd be turned off by those who cry over the littlest things though.

Reply 14

squigaletta

Tbh I'm more wary of the 'I never cry' attitude of some men, i think it shows a general fear of humanity, weakness and their own emotion that isn't healthy. I'd far rather be with someone who was comfortable enough with themselves (and me) to show me their emotions, that be with someone who feels the need to keep up a macho pretence, because in my experience, thats all it is.

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

When me and a fellow girl housemate had drank way too much me and her had this massive fight and I just felt so low I almost started crying - I actually had to hold the tears back! Well weird! I never cry - I guess the uni experience was getting on top of me (In was in the first 3 weeks), but I held back and controlled myself, sat in silence for a while and went to my room.

And I'm a 20 year old guy. - I'm so glad I didn't actually cry though!

Reply 16

Anonymous #3

Men whio cry.
Well I think they should. I caht to many guys and a lot of them say I don't wanna cry because it makes me feel weak. Thats one pathetic excuse don't you think. Sometimes its good to cry it shows emotin. However crying constantly is a bit of a problem, and of tiny reasons however been talking to a close mate and he has actually opened up :frown:

and told me he cries because he worries about me that I am gonna hurt myself pretty bad and that made me feel bad because he's the sort of guy who hardly cries. But men crying is not so bad.

Reply 17

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

squigaletta

Tbh I'm more wary of the 'I never cry' attitude of some men, i think it shows a general fear of humanity, weakness and their own emotion that isn't healthy. I'd far rather be with someone who was comfortable enough with themselves (and me) to show me their emotions, that be with someone who feels the need to keep up a macho pretence, because in my experience, thats all it is.

I would generally agree with this, but I tend to see things from my own perspective. I have no problem expressing joy, love, anger and even when I'm really upset, it's just the actual act of crying that I don't do.

Reply 18

TW-04

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

Women cry for all sorts of stupid reasons. They cry because they've been insulted, for example. I've seen my sister cry because she didn't get the mark she felt she deserved in an exam.

Most men wouldn't dream of crying at stuff like that.

A female flatmate of mine cried because another flatmate hid her driving license. :confused:

Girls are weak... :biggrin:

Reply 19

Jelkin

17

My ex-boyfriend cried when I went to go travelling for a month, after we'd been going out six weeks. I didn't get that.

Guys crying do make me uncomfortable but I think it's absolutely fine if they do. My current boyfriend says he hasn't cried since he was about 11 and I think that's really sad. I mean, crying is such a massive relief sometimes.

Men who cry...

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