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Can I hide my disastrous Uni experience from eight years ago?

OK so here it goes.

I'm from Ireland and did the Irish Leaving certificate exactly a decade ago. Got 460 points (roughly equivalent to a BBBC A levels score), so decent but nothing special. In any case it got me into a good Uni (in Ireland) at the tender age of 17 to study science. I wasn't at all interested in science or university for that matter. Split my time between working at a nightclub 5 days a week and drinking the other two days away. Stuck out college for two years, failed and repeated multiple modules, before dropping out. Messed around for another year or so before mellowing out and getting my life in order.

I've done really well for myself in the intervening years and am now in a position to go back to full time study. I want to sit the A levels and apply to a top school to study philosophy. Preferably Cambridge. I'm scared that they'll see my Uni transcript (it's terrible, out of twenty modules I passed 3 first time round) and bawk.

Is it realistic to simply pretend like the whole ugly affair never happened. I want to just say that I did the leaving certificate and then entered the workforce and leave it at that. Do admissions boards have independent access to university transcripts? I'm proud of what I've achieved since but that whole Uni experience is like a cancerous spot on my record, it demands your attention. Even in my own mind all my other achievements seem to pale when considered next to that failure.

Sorry this is too long, any and all advice is very much appreciated.
No. And you shouldnt try and hide it anyway.

You should admit to going to the other Uni somewhere on your application. Not on the quals section (that will look like you completed a degree and will just be confusing) but either you or your referee should mention it. Its okay, it wont count against you - but you just explain that you are much older/wiser/better prepared now. No Uni will be interested in your Uni transcript from a totally messed up course you didnt complete so forget the grades aspect of this. Its part of your pathway to Uni - and that part of your life needs a brief mention.

What you must have - especially for Cambridge or any other RG Uni - is evidence of more recent study. Resitting A levels (or equiv) is the best pathway if you are aiming that high, as many top Unis dont regard Access as 'high academic' enough. Make sure you also have the required GCSEs (or equiv) etc. Applications from anyone over 21 are encouraged and welcomed by all UK Unis - go for it!
As sydneybridge suggests, turn it into a positive! It makes you a more interesting candidate, for a start.

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