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I feel ugly.

I am an eighteen year old male. I have great friends who are supportive in whatever I do. I am often told that I am "hot" or simply "good looking" by my friends, colleagues and strangers. I have an Instagram account with over ten-thousand followers; I constantly post selfies for validation. Even though no one calls me ugly, I feel disgusting.

I starve myself for days, and then binge eat. I also have moderate OCD and regularly make myself throw up. I can't stop looking at myself in mirrors. The way I look makes me feel depressed. If someone compliments the way I look, I brush it off. If someone makes a slightly negative comment on the way I look, it sticks with me for years. E.g, the other day, an ex-girlfriend (a good friend of mine, now) insisted that I was "gorgeous", but I disagreed with her; she assumed I was just being humble, when in reality I genuinely thought I was ugly. A few months ago, another friend said that I had a wide face, and I can't stop thinking about that. I feel intensely jealous of good looking people.

I feel like everyone is always staring at me and making fun out of me. As I grow older, it gets worse. I seriously do not know what to do.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
I am an eighteen year old male. I have great friends who are supportive in whatever I do. I am often told that I am "hot" or simply "good looking" by my friends, colleagues and strangers. I have an Instagram account with over ten-thousand followers; I constantly post selfies for validation. Even though no one calls me ugly, I feel disgusting.

I starve myself for days, and then binge eat. I also have moderate OCD and regularly make myself throw up. I can't stop looking at myself in mirrors. The way I look makes me feel depressed. If someone compliments the way I look, I brush it off. If someone makes a slightly negative comment on the way I look, it sticks with me for years. E.g, the other day, an ex-girlfriend (a good friend of mine, now) insisted that I was "gorgeous", but I disagreed with her; she assumed I was just being humble, when in reality I genuinely thought I was ugly. A few months ago, another friend said that I had a wide face, and I can't stop thinking about that. I feel intensely jealous of good looking people.

I feel like everyone is always staring at me and making fun out of me. As I grow older, it gets worse. I seriously do not know what to do.


Instagram with 10000 followers?
Noone cares what anyone looks like
Reply 3
You have probably been told by people to worry about more important things than your looks, but by the sounds of it you are really struggling to be confident within yourself, and I know how hard it is to be happy in your own skin. The only advice I can give is to think about it slowly - you look in the mirror every day and it sounds like you pick out every flaw you can find.... try to avoid doing this and think of your face as your own, and one that you are proud of

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Original post by Anonymous
I am an eighteen year old male. I have great friends who are supportive in whatever I do. I am often told that I am "hot" or simply "good looking" by my friends, colleagues and strangers. I have an Instagram account with over ten-thousand followers; I constantly post selfies for validation. Even though no one calls me ugly, I feel disgusting.

I starve myself for days, and then binge eat. I also have moderate OCD and regularly make myself throw up. I can't stop looking at myself in mirrors. The way I look makes me feel depressed. If someone compliments the way I look, I brush it off. If someone makes a slightly negative comment on the way I look, it sticks with me for years. E.g, the other day, an ex-girlfriend (a good friend of mine, now) insisted that I was "gorgeous", but I disagreed with her; she assumed I was just being humble, when in reality I genuinely thought I was ugly. A few months ago, another friend said that I had a wide face, and I can't stop thinking about that. I feel intensely jealous of good looking people.

I feel like everyone is always staring at me and making fun out of me. As I grow older, it gets worse. I seriously do not know what to do.


Your number of instagram followers is proof that external validation will never be enough... Even if it was one million. You really have to feel beautiful from the inside out. And it's a hard I know as someone recovering from eating disorders and the negative body image that often goes with it I can relate.

I'm wondering if when you were very young someone made bad comments about you (other children, family members), did anyone make you feel embarrassed or ashamed or you were bullied? Or did you witness someone else being bullied or put down for their looks?

Whatever it may be you need to focus on reprogramming your beliefs as it pertains to the importance of your physical looks. And also building value and experience in other areas of your life, in other words when you are not working on yourself it's good to keep occupied with other activities. And achievements in volunteering, sports, creative enterprises etc are immensely fulfilling help you realise there's more to you than the way you look and you see yourself more clearly, as a whole rather than just the surface shell.

Also please see a doctor because binging and starving may be a sign of bulimia (non-purging type). I'm not sure when you make yourself sick (after binges? Or after meals/snacks?) but again that could indicate bulimia (purging type). I know all too well what it's like to be in that mind set and you do become so preoccupied with your body as if nothing else matters... As if perfection would be the cure but it's so dangerous. You can also check out a charity call B-eat who do support groups and have a helpline where you can have a chat.

Good luck!
Original post by number23
Noone cares what anyone looks like


... is the EXACT opposite of how the world works.
You clearly have very low self-esteem. The problem has nothing to do with your looks - that's just an easy thing to focus on. Are you willing to go to your doctor? You need help ASAP. Is there anyone you can confide in?


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Reply 7
body dysmorphia?

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