How to stop being so attached/needy/clingy towards a girl?

I have a female friend. We talk all the time. I think we have had contact every single day since the past 3 months. Every day, one of us will initiate some sort of contact, usually whatsapp, and we'll talk. Sometimes for hours, sometime just for a short while.

Anyway, yesterday nobody made any contact. I didn't message her and she didn't message me. And I feel really uncomfortable. I wanted to talk to her but I was hoping she would message me first. But she hasn't yet. I don't want to be clingy, but I feel I am attached to her. The fact that I have feelings for her doesn't help. She has a bf.

What should I do? I can't stop thinking about her. I want to message her but I am stopping myself. Please help.

I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but it just bothers me. I guess I am so used to talking to her everyday that suddenly when a day comes when we don't talk, it just feels really weird and I miss her.

How can I stop feeling like this?

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Reply 1

bitturiju

If she has a boyfriend, and you know you have feelings for her, you should back off man. That ain't cool.

Reply 2

believeteam22

I wanna write "did u forget about me?"..

Bad idea? :/

Reply 3

Retired_Messiah

Original post by believeteam22

I wanna write "did u forget about me?"..

Bad idea? :/

Potentially the worst, depending on the girl.

Leave it, you'll manage a day I'm sure.

Get out of her life.

Original post by Retired_Messiah

Potentially the worst, depending on the girl.

Leave it, you'll manage a day I'm sure.

But why? Ok I won't message her then

Reply 6

believeteam22

Original post by NettleRune

Get out of her life.

Why should i do that?

Reply 7

NettleRune

Original post by believeteam22

Why should i do that?

Because she has a boyfriend? And you have strong feelings for her up to the point where you find it hard to go a day without messaging her. You need to leave her alone as she's in a relationship. It's a crappy thing to do.

Reply 8

moogski

Back off, she can't reciprocate your feelings. Focus on finding people that will!

Reply 9

believeteam22

I know she has a bf (LDR) but that's not what I am asking. We always talk, literally everyday, and I am so used to it. Now suddenly it's been more than 24hrs, she hasn't messaged me nor have I and it just feels weird (to me). It's just a habit which i am used to..

Reply 10

ohelloworm

Original post by believeteam22

But why? Ok I won't message her then

Because it's really, uncomfortably clingy.

Original post by believeteam22

Right, it's been more than 24 hours, go for a walk, talk to a friend, play a game, watch a film, read a book. If talking to this girl who is not interested in you is the highlight of your day and you can't deal when it stops, you need to stop yourself right now, because you're wasting your time, and this is only going to end with you sad and embarrassed.

Reply 11

Puresha

Who sent the last message? Doesn't matter just pop up be like heyaaaaa how are you or something

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

paulmcdermott90

Original post by believeteam22

I wanna write "did u forget about me?"..

Bad idea? :/

Do you ever meet this girl in person, or is this purely just a communication through Whatsapp (texting, etc)?

I wouldn't message her "did u forget about me?" because it implies a level of neediness which isn't attractive whether you are in a relationship or not. Seeing as you previously messaged everyday I don't see why you shouldn't message her back, but keep it on the same track as your last messages as if nothing happened (as nothing did happen, you didn't message for a day that's all).

Reply 13

believeteam22

Original post by ohelloworm

Because it's really, uncomfortably clingy.

Right, it's been more than 24 hours, go for a walk, talk to a friend, play a game, watch a film, read a book. If talking to this girl who is not interested in you is the highlight of your day and you can't deal when it stops, you need to stop yourself right now, because you're wasting your time, and this is only going to end with you sad and embarrassed.

Ok you make a good point. It's just that 1. I am so used to talking to her ALL the time, and 2. I am crazy about her.

Reply 14

believeteam22

Original post by Puresha

Who sent the last message? Doesn't matter just pop up be like heyaaaaa how are you or something

Posted from TSR Mobile

Well, I started the convo, and we spoke very briefly because she wasn't at home, and she sent the last message. I didn't message again because she was at her aunty's house. Oh she just messaged me now:

"Hii. U ok? Lol. I can't do this cw man."

Lol..

Reply 15

believeteam22

Original post by PMaccer

Oh yes of course. We have been friends for more than a year and we are in all the same classes at uni and we always talk, hang out, etc.

Yh, maybe you're right about that.

Well she just messaged me now: "Hii. U ok? Lol. I can't do this cw man."

Lol..

Reply 16

paulmcdermott90

Well sounds like you've got a good mate!

However it's not a great position having strong feelings for someone when they can't be reciprocated. Goodluck!

Reply 17

LadyEcliptic

Mybe... She has been busy and you are over thinking this? I get annoyed talking to people constantly (I'm not saying she's annoyed) but like.. Give her some space, it actually might benefit you if you stop focusing on this all the time and do something else with your time?

Reply 18

believeteam22

She messaged saying: "Hii. U ok? Lol. I can't do this cw man."

What to do? (Always wants help!!)

Reply 19

Zarek

Put your energies in to finding someone who is up for a relationship with you. This is key. Your friendship with her can then fit in around this, if it still matter..