The Student Room Group

Men: given the option, would you want to be a stay at home husband?

Poll

As above

In response to all the threads asking why women don't want to just be taken care of, I'm just interested to find out whether our arguments are valid from the point of view of someone not given that option.

The main arguments against are:
- Wanting a fulfilling career.
- Not wanting someone else to have that level of control over you.
- Not wanting to be a sponge (personal pride), even if the agreement is mutual.

You can answer as if the situation was the same as the female one (no stigma / possibly even something your partner really wants), or as it is currently (some stigma against being a stay at home father / husband). Your opinion may be different for each.

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No, I wouldn't want to. Regardless of any stigma.
Reply 2
Avatar for Cutty
Cutty
2
Yes I wouldn't mind. Someone must do it, why not me

Posted from TSR Mobile
Don't know. Depends on lot of different factors. But I would want it to be an option.
I would love to, that would be my dream "job".
Reply 5
Avatar for Ebony19
Ebony19
12
A stay at home husband would be so cute :h: naw
Original post by Octohedral
In response to all the threads asking why women don't want to just be taken care of, I'm just interested to find out whether our arguments are valid from the point of view of someone not given that option.

The main arguments against are:
- Wanting a fulfilling career.
- Not wanting someone else to have that level of control over you.
- Not wanting to be a sponge (personal pride), even if the agreement is mutual.

You can answer as if the situation was the same as the female one (no stigma / possibly even something your partner really wants), or as it is currently (some stigma against being a stay at home father / husband). Your opinion may be different for each.


It's like asking if my wife could win or inherit £3m would I be for it or against yet?

Oh yes I love waking up at 6am travelling like a sardine packed into crowded trains and tubes only to join other people's games of corporate politics and empire building. I'd be very happy to let a woman earn all the money. I don't have an attachment to money or power as I have a life.





Posted from TSR Mobile
I wouldn't like that. Would rather have us both work.
Reply 8
Avatar for Tom78
Tom78
18
I would then I can spend all my time being creative, playing 12 different instruments, taking a dog for long walks etc.
Reply 9
Avatar for Octohedral
Octohedral
OP
16
Original post by Concerned135
It's like asking if my wife could win or inherit £3m would I be for it or against yet?

Oh yes I love waking up at 6am travelling like a sardine packed into crowded trains and tubes only to join other people's games of corporate politics and empire building. I'd be very happy to let a woman earn all the money. I don't have an attachment to money or power as I have a life.


That's why I'm interested to see the poll results (I guess I should have done a female one too so that they can be compared). So far it's pretty polar. All the comments say yes but the poll says no. :biggrin:

I think it comes down to what you see work as. I have been criticised before for being idealistic about this, but for me it is not about the money. So long as I have enough to live (a little more than just survive, but any decent graduate wage would do), I'm happy. If I worked in the city I'd probably be miserable, but in the 21st Century there are so many jobs that are not that.

However, if that's too idealistic for you, for me the deciding factor is the reality of living on someone else's wage. No matter how well the relationship starts, or how much you trust them, you are at their mercy. Your wife / husband could leave you with nothing whenever they want. Even if there was a legal agreement that divorce would result in sharing everything, you would be left without a career, and would be stuck in some dead end job. Even if this doesn't happen, you will never have true autonomy. Any decision you make that could cost money will have to go through your partner. I can't deal with that lack of freedom, and I don't have to.

Does that bother you at all, or would you be fine with it? I'm genuinely interested - perhaps you disagree?
Original post by Ebony19
A stay at home husband would be so cute :h: naw


You make him sound like a pet :tongue:
No, I enjoy my job. if I were stuck at home all day I would be both bored and poor.
It'd be boring no?


Posted from TSR Mobile
there will never be this mainstream option and when it happens the divorce rate will skyrocket even further than it already has, so no comment.
No way
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
You make him sound like a pet :tongue:
Haha could be one lovely little pet if selected well.
Reply 16
Avatar for ilem
ilem
17
No. But I will argue to death about men's right to do so without being looked down on.
Original post by ilem
No. But I will argue to death about men's right to do so without being looked down on.


Fair enough. I would never look down on a man who did it. Can't say the same for society, but 'society' thinks many things that will take time to change. I think the last century has only improved things for men in that sense - it is now far more acceptable for men to choose to take a less 'masculine' role if they want to, and still be respected. I think that unless something drastically changes our liberal society, this trend will continue, and eventually people will be respected for what they do regardless of whether they are male or female.

That is not to say it has all been good. For example, I think it is tragic that men have somehow been driven out of primary school teaching. The reasons for this are very complicated, but I think it's extremely important for children to have both male and female influences at that age. (I'm not equating primary school teaching to being a stay at home partner, it's just an interesting social point).
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
You make him sound like a pet :tongue:


Aw I wouldn't say pet, as that implies some kind of inferiority, but (believe it or not) there is something quite cute about a husband who needs looking after. Perhaps it's our motherly instinct :tongue:

I couldn't care less about the money, so long as we earn enough between us. I think my biggest concern is my partner being interesting, and for me that usually correlates with being motivated to do something. So, for example, I'd be quite happy (if I had a good career) to support a husband who wanted to stay at home and write books, or who loved skydiving or something, but if he just wanted to do housework I'd have no objection to him as a person but I'm not sure if we would connect intellectually.
Original post by Octohedral
Aw I wouldn't say pet, as that implies some kind of inferiority, but (believe it or not) there is something quite cute about a husband who needs looking after. Perhaps it's our motherly instinct :tongue:

I couldn't care less about the money, so long as we earn enough between us. I think my biggest concern is my partner being interesting, and for me that usually correlates with being motivated to do something. So, for example, I'd be quite happy (if I had a good career) to support a husband who wanted to stay at home and write books, or who loved skydiving or something, but if he just wanted to do housework I'd have no objection to him as a person but I'm not sure if we would connect intellectually.


Good, I need someone to look after me :tongue:

I'd say the same. I would just like the option of being a house husband or say working part time or something to other if I ever have children to be an option.

I don't even know if I will ever want children anyway :tongue:
(edited 9 years ago)

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