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Guy and drugs

Please keep anonymous!

Hello, would like some advice, I can't stop thinking and going over whether I am making a mistake or not.

I shall keep it short and sweet.

I'm 18, and the this guy is also 18. I have known him for a couple of years now, always told myself I would never be more than friends with him because of his drug use and he has slept with many girls. He has always been open with that about me. I always been in a relationship with someone else whilst being friends with this guy.

Anyway I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of this year for different issues and ended up getting close with this guy.

The thing that really really bothers me is the drug thing. He has openly admitted he has done nearly every drug. He hasn't got a criminal record but has always been involved with the police and is known around his area.

He now says he's done with drugs, he has nothing to do with them as he has had enough of that life. He has taken coke, kat, ecstasy etc. He overdosed himself a few months ago, and it scared him massively, which is another reason he's stopped.

He often tells me how happy he is since we've gotten really close, he says he stays out of trouble, very rarely smokes weed. No drugs. He's falling for me and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.

Question is, should I believe him, or run?

I love the guy to bits, care about him loads. He has no job, got kicked out of college. But says he's joining the force next year.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I would also like to add that I hate drugs, never have taken them, never want to try them and never will. He's always been there for me, he's so attractive and caring. He also says he's had enough of one night stands and want's something more meaningful. Which I suppose he could be lying about, I just don't know what to think. My mother knows most things about him, and doesn't want me seeing him or getting involved.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

That is such a tough situation I'm not going to lie. It's like a typical choosing to go with your head or your heart type situation. Of course all the facts and past experiences are telling you to run and not get involved with this kind of guy - he could potentially drag you down with him.
He sounds like the kind of guy that could be your best friend and your boyfriend and your enemy really. He's done things in the past he's not proud of, there is a possibility he could return to that sort of life, BUT if he has never, personally, let you down then I think you trust him. If what you are saying is true, he sounds genuine. Maybe its time to give him some credit, maybe he really does want to turn his life around and wants to begin doing that with you by his side, because he knows you're a good person and will only lead him to bigger and better things. Not everyone goes to college to become successful, academics aren't for everyone and my mother is the same - my current boyfriend has A-levels and refused to go to university so she thinks he's a lowlife drop out although hes now become a recruitment consultant and is due to get promoted. So you know, everyone has their own way of making it in life.
If it was me, I wouldn't judge him on his past. I'd allow myself to make my own opinion of him through how he is with me if that makes sense. If he makes the effort, if he stays out of trouble, if he shows me he cares and is willing enough to leave that kind of life behind.
Like I said everyone has to grow up one day right? :smile:

Reply 3

DustyH

I know / have known a lot of people like the guy you described. I think you have to be realistic about it. He's been doing drugs for years and only recently stopped because of this 1 scary event. In my opinion it's likely that he'll do drugs again at some point. The question you have to ask yourself is if he did, how would you react? I think as long as he sorts himself out in other areas of his life, the occasional drug taking isn't a problem. Emphasis on the word occasional. However, if it's going to bother you every time he does do drugs, no matter how occasionally, then it probably isn't going to work. I don't count smoking weed as 'proper' drug taking - but you might, and if he does anything semi regularly it is probably going to be weed smoking.

You've known this guy for a long time, and you know what he's like - if you start a relationship I don't think anything will be majorly different - so decide if you are ok with him as person, and all his activities in their current state, because things most likely aren't going to change a great deal. Ofcourse they may change, and if you think they will/can then best of luck!