Religious parents.

I recently got offered at place at a top university institution in the England, but its hundreds of miles away. My parents (parents are conservative muslims)have in the past threaten to cut me off if i don't go to the local university (which is really low ranked ~80s). What can i do in this situation?

Reply 1

Andrew657Thomas

13

Well if it's a course you really want to do, you're 18, you don't have to listen to your parents anymore :smile:

Student Finances will pay for your course and accommodation.

Reply 2

MrsSheldonCooper

20

What uni did you get offered a place at? My parents are the same tbh but once you're 18 they can't do anything to you or force you into going to a uni you don't want to go to

Reply 3

Belvitaaa

8

See, I don't understand this. Why have you put the title as 'religious parents' if your post has nothing to to with religion. Their religion is not stopping you to go to a far university and live away. I know of so many parents who are religious, like mine, and they allow me to live away from home. Also, there's many non religious parents who are not comfortable with their children living away. It is not due to religion.

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Reply 4

ImNotMe

6

Original post by Anonymous

I recently got offered at place at a top university institution in the England, but its hundreds of miles away. My parents (parents are conservative muslims)have in the past threaten to cut me off if i don't go to the local university (which is really low ranked ~80s). What can i do in this situation?

Apart from the distances and ranking, what other differences are there between the two universities that your parents might be aware of? Anything that screams 'not Islamic!'?

I mean, you put 'religious parents' in the title, but it might just be the case that they love you to bits and don't want to see you go so far away!

Reply 5

Schrödingers Cat

16

Original post by shatmypants

See, I don't understand this. Why have you put the title as 'religious parents' if your post has nothing to to with religion. Their religion is not stopping you to go to a far university and live away. I know of so many parents who are religious, like mine, and they allow me to live away from home. Also, there's many non religious parents who are not comfortable with their children living away. It is not due to religion.

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If they weren't religious I doubt they would be so conservative, Islam is a very strict religion and so it follows that people who follow this religion will be strict on their children.

Reply 6

scriberg

13

are you a boy or a girl?

Reply 7

Belvitaaa

8

Original post by Schrödingers Cat

If they weren't religious I doubt they would be so conservative, Islam is a very strict religion and so it follows that people who follow this religion will be strict on their children.

Did you read my post? There are lots of non religious parents who don't want their children living away. My parents are practicing Muslims and they follow Islam very closely, however they have not stopped me from wanting to live away at uni. Living away from home has nothing to do with Islam.

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Reply 8

Schrödingers Cat

16

Original post by shatmypants

Did you read my post? There are lots of non religious parents who don't want their children living away. My parents are practicing Muslims and they follow Islam very closely, however they have not stopped me from wanting to live away at uni. Living away from home has nothing to do with Islam.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Are you saying that if we surveyed religious parents vs non-religious parents we would find no correlation between conservatism and household values?

You cannot use one personal anecdote and experience to generalise a whole group.

Question is do YOU follow Islam very closely? :holmes:

Reply 9

jaffacake111

9

Saying " you are 18, you can do what you want " is an idea achievable in principle if not in practice and I resent how some people instinctively seem to claim this is "nothing to do with religion".

May I invite everyone to look at statistics of homeless children in America who have been thrown out by their parents because they're gay - of course that almost always is for exclusively religiously motivated reasons - and consider changing their mind?

In any case arguing with facts will get you nowhere and I'd much rather people (presuming they are reasonable and sincere in the first place) didn't just automatically disregard or discredit a very real issue just because it doesn't necessarily effect them.

This issue doesn't effect me personally but I'm very aware of the fact that this is an all to common occurrence for people like you and me.

I don't have any solutions other than to suggest you " test the waters" and guage their likely response instead of writing them off straight away because parents should go on loving their children, they are still their own children.

And before anyone bites at me for thinking of all religious people as the same and me being just as fundamentalist as them let me add that of course there are good people who believe in god(s) but they are the ones who don't take their religion seriously. Don't agree? Change my mind! I'm not a fundamentalist because I know exactly what it would take to do it and would gladly do so in the face of such evidence.

I can't pray for you but I'd like to take the opportunity to wish you lots of luck in your situation and that you will get the outcome YOU have worked for and deserve.

Reply 10

em211997

18

Original post by Andrew657Thomas

Well if it's a course you really want to do, you're 18, you don't have to listen to your parents anymore :smile:

Student Finances will pay for your course and accommodation.

It doesn't work like that for brown parents unfortunately. Being cut off completely for uni is not ideal at all ans also Asians tend to be far more reliant on their parents.

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Reply 11

em211997

18

Original post by shatmypants

See, I don't understand this. Why have you put the title as 'religious parents' if your post has nothing to to with religion. Their religion is not stopping you to go to a far university and live away. I know of so many parents who are religious, like mine, and they allow me to live away from home. Also, there's many non religious parents who are not comfortable with their children living away. It is not due to religion.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Since you're muslim then you should know that there are some stricter muslims. They're probably just worried that their children will do something haram while they're out of there site.

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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 12

em211997

18

Original post by shatmypants

Did you read my post? There are lots of non religious parents who don't want their children living away. My parents are practicing Muslims and they follow Islam very closely, however they have not stopped me from wanting to live away at uni. Living away from home has nothing to do with Islam.

Posted from TSR Mobile

I think its more to do with culture than religion but I think parents use religion as an excuse to be difficult.
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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 13

funkymama

1

Original post by Anonymous

I recently got offered at place at a top university institution in the England, but its hundreds of miles away. My parents (parents are conservative muslims)have in the past threaten to cut me off if i don't go to the local university (which is really low ranked ~80s). What can i do in this situation?

You may have to research both uni's thoroughly and point out the benefits of your preferred uni. Highlight the academic strengths and the employability statistics of your chosen uni and worse case scenario see if you can travel there or if you have family near there. Good luck

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Reply 14

Belvitaaa

8

Original post by em211997

Since you're muslim then you should know that there are some stricter muslims. They're probably just worried that their children will do something haram while they're out of there site.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Original post by em211997

I think its more to do with culture than religion but I think parents use religion as an excuse to be difficult.
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Original post by Schrödingers Cat

Are you saying that if we surveyed religious parents vs non-religious parents we would find no correlation between conservatism and household values?

You cannot use one personal anecdote and experience to generalise a whole group.

Question is do YOU follow Islam very closely? :holmes:

You've misunderstood what my initial post was about! All I said was it was a silly thread title as it has nothing to do with religious parents.

Oh Schrodingers Cat, of course there will be a correlation but like in psychology we cannot establish a cause and effet relationship, now can we. The bit in bold is what I was trying to say in my original post, that OP should stop labeling his parents views as 'religious'.

Reply 15

username1530463

6

Guys, don't their parents have to co-sign the Tuition Fee loan? If they don't sign it, then the OP doesn't get their loan, right?

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Another thread turned into a religious debate... Oh look what it's about :O ISLAM... surprise surprise ffs

Reply 17

Schrödingers Cat

16

Original post by shatmypants

You've misunderstood what my initial post was about! All I said was it was a silly thread title as it has nothing to do with religious parents.

Oh Schrodingers Cat, of course there will be a correlation but like in psychology we cannot establish a cause and effet relationship, now can we. The bit in bold is what I was trying to say in my original post, that OP should stop labeling his parents views as 'religious'.

You cannot say for sure it has nothing to do with them being religious as we don't know enough information, for example the parents could not want the person leaving because they want to make sure they pray/don't get married what not.

Your post came across as saying the issue has nothing to do with religion and that religion has no influence on stricter lifetstyle and living