The Student Room Group

Are people flaky or am I just overeager?

I feel like nobody cares as much as I do about being courteous when communicating electronically. It seems like with pretty much all of my friends, they will not always respond to a text I send. Not that I text them a lot, I just feel you should respond when someone says something, even if it's not for several hours.
Things I always do:
Reply to texts as quickly as possible
Hardly ever forget to text someone back
Confirm plans the day of
Cancel plans before the day of
Email people about group projects as planned

It seems no no one else really does the above, at least not consistently. Am I just overeager/have nothing to do? For example, in the past week I emailed 2 different people from 2 different classes about our projects, neither has gotten back to me...
I wouldn't think that this is a big deal for most people - if you sit for a whole day and listen to other conversations, you'll find that people aren't that courteous at communicating no-electronically either.
In the specific examples you've highlighted, I would say that not everyone checks their phone all that often, they might be busy when you text them, see it, and then forget to reply, or their phone might be out of charge.
Making plans depends more on how organised people are, rather than specific communication skills. I've had people cancel on me an hour or so before we were meant to meet up - which is both inconsiderate and annoying, but simply because they are un-organised, not unable to communicate.
How old are you? It sounds to me like you're in secondary school/sixth form, and people don't tend to take work seriously at that age, so class-mates probably wont check their e-mails, and if it's about work, won't want to reply/bother to do it.

Overall, I wouldn't call you "over-eager", just better organised than other people. Unfortunately this probably won't change, since there are always people who leave plans to the last minute, but when everyone's older, they will probably reply to you more promptly.
Original post by EmilyLaura
I wouldn't think that this is a big deal for most people - if you sit for a whole day and listen to other conversations, you'll find that people aren't that courteous at communicating no-electronically either.
In the specific examples you've highlighted, I would say that not everyone checks their phone all that often, they might be busy when you text them, see it, and then forget to reply, or their phone might be out of charge.
Making plans depends more on how organised people are, rather than specific communication skills. I've had people cancel on me an hour or so before we were meant to meet up - which is both inconsiderate and annoying, but simply because they are un-organised, not unable to communicate.
How old are you? It sounds to me like you're in secondary school/sixth form, and people don't tend to take work seriously at that age, so class-mates probably wont check their e-mails, and if it's about work, won't want to reply/bother to do it.

Overall, I wouldn't call you "over-eager", just better organised than other people. Unfortunately this probably won't change, since there are always people who leave plans to the last minute, but when everyone's older, they will probably reply to you more promptly.


Haha, ok, that makes me feel better. It's too bad though that people have to be like that.
I'm 20 btw.
Reply 3
If it's academic or work related, one really must make every effort to get in touch with you promptly to confirm times, dates and arrangements, just so that everything runs smoothly. It's very inconsiderate not to do so, it creates delays and disorganisation. However, if we're talking about casual chit chat, then no one is obliged to reply or respond to anything at all, no matter what.

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Original post by Vondas
If it's academic or work related, one really must make every effort to get in touch with you promptly to confirm times, dates and arrangements, just so that everything runs smoothly. It's very inconsiderate not to do so, it creates delays and disorganisation. However, if we're talking about casual chit chat, then no one is obliged to reply or respond to anything at all, no matter what.

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Well sure you're not obligated, it's courteous though. I just have friends with iphone, you know you can see when they read your message and then it'll be like an hour before they respond. Or I'll be having a conversation with someone and at some point they just won't reply. It just seems a bit inconsiderate.
Become less sensitive maybe? You can't change them after all.
If it's about projects, etc then find better/more organized teammates.
Original post by IWantToBeThere
Become less sensitive maybe? You can't change them after all.
If it's about projects, etc then find better/more organized teammates.


Yeah, I think it's mostly because I've never been that person who is always texting people, so when I do I'm super...Idk haha know what I mean
Original post by D_ecrivaine
Yeah, I think it's mostly because I've never been that person who is always texting people, so when I do I'm super...Idk haha know what I mean


The things you mentioned in your OP are all wonderful things to do.
I hate it too when people don't reply. Then I might get a bit annoyed and care less about them!
Original post by IWantToBeThere
The things you mentioned in your OP are all wonderful things to do.
I hate it too when people don't reply. Then I might get a bit annoyed and care less about them!


Lol I'm not sure I'd consider that wonderful...
No, I don't think you're too eager. I personally don't understand when people purposefully wait to reply to a text. I think it's mostly down to them wanting to create an impression of being busy? And if it they always forget by accident then it's just carelessness...either way, not an appealing quality. I know what you mean by organising school projects solo.


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Original post by D_ecrivaine
Lol I'm not sure I'd consider that wonderful...


I think canceling/confirming the plans the day before, replying to messages/emails, organizing projects, etc are all really good.
Original post by IWantToBeThere
I think canceling/confirming the plans the day before, replying to messages/emails, organizing projects, etc are all really good.


Oh OK, I thought you meant the things other people did. Thanks :smile:


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