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guys don't want a relationship with me

I'm 21 and have a had a few short relationships but over the past 3 years guys just seem to want one thing from me (sex) I really want a relationship but it seems that guys don't view me as relationship material and I don't understand why, it sucks!

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Reply 1
Head up! There are billions of people out there and a lucky guy waiting for you. You'll find happiness eventually, good luck I hope you find it soon :smile:
Ditto! Figure something will come along when its meant to:-)

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Not to be disrespectful, but do you tend to have sex with guys quickly? If you want to find a guy who wants a genuine relationship with you, you need to withhold sex. That way you know he wants to be you for you, not because of your vagina.
Original post by XxSophie01xX
Not to be disrespectful, but do you tend to have sex with guys quickly? If you want to find a guy who wants a genuine relationship with you, you need to withhold sex. That way you know he wants to be you for you, not because of your vagina.


Yeah, way to start an honest relationship - mind games. :rolleyes:
Original post by black_mamba
Yeah, way to start an honest relationship - mind games. :rolleyes:


You're playing games if you don't put out immediately? :/
Reply 6
Original post by XxSophie01xX
Not to be disrespectful, but do you tend to have sex with guys quickly? If you want to find a guy who wants a genuine relationship with you, you need to withhold sex. That way you know he wants to be you for you, not because of your vagina.


nope ha then they get disinterested
Original post by Anonymous
nope ha then they get disinterested


Well you better get used to being a booty call then. If sex is the only thing you have to engage a man, you're ****ed ('scuse the pun)
Do these guys tend to get what they want early on?

Maybe hold out for a while if this is the case and let guys know what you want from the get go. If the guy isn't looking for anything serious then move onto the next one. Don't hang on, have sex and find yourself in the same predicament if a relationship isn't what he's after.
Reply 9
Aw sorry to hear this. I'm experiencing similar. They usually say they just want fun while they are young. Don't know the best places/ ways to meet guys who want more.
Original post by XxSophie01xX
You're playing games if you don't put out immediately? :/


I never said anything about having sex instantly, but if you withhold when you actually want to have sex, you're essentially playing to a set of imagined arbitrary social rules. To me that's the sort of weird, convoluted advice you get from women's magazines that actually annoys men because it's dishonest.

I think absolute rules are dangerous, like "don't ever have sex too quickly". I personally don't think this has a huge bearing on whether men want to have relationships with you or not, but not everyone agrees with that. I'm quite a bit older than most people here, so it might be a generational thing, but I've had a couple of short term flings that turned into wonderful relationships. It's not unheard of, but maybe it is rare.

Anyways it's kinda irrelevant sorry OP I took thread off on a tangent there.
Original post by black_mamba
Yeah, way to start an honest relationship - mind games. :rolleyes:


Original post by Anonymous
nope ha then they get disinterested


Erm there aren't any mind games included here. If this girl has discovered that no guy wants a relationship with her and she's sleeping with then too early on, it makes sense to hold off for a while.

If all the guy wants is sex OP yes he will lose interest quickly, but he will be doing you a favour in the long run. If a dude genuinely likes you he will be patient and wait. Its that simple, so you can either keep doing what your doing and if you get the same result then it might not ever change. Or you can take things slow and see how it goes, he may stick around for the long haul who knows.

You sleep with him early on - he loses interest , you write a post on here stating no guy wants a relationship with you.

You hold out for a little while - he loses interest, at least you haven't slept with him.

It won't harm you to do things differently. Sex isn't the answer to everything you know. If all else fails maybe you need to look a little deeper and spend more time on yourself, then the right guy will come your way.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by phunky_fresh
Erm there aren't any mind games included here. If this girl has discovered that no guy wants a relationship with her and she's sleeping with then too early on, it makes sense to hold off for a while.

If all the guy wants is sex OP yes he will lose interest quickly, but he will be doing you a favour in the long run. If a dude genuinely likes you he will be patient and wait. Its that simple, so you can either keep doing what your doing and if you get the same result then it might not ever change. Or you can take things slow and see how it goes, he may stick around for the long haul who knows.

You sleep with him early on - he loses interest , you write a post on here stating no guy wants a relationship with you.

You hold out for a little while - he loses interest, at least you haven't slept with him.

It won't harm you to do things differently. Sex isn't the answer to everything you know. If all else fails maybe you need to look a little deeper and spend more time on yourself, then the right guy will come your way.


Totally agree. I didn't get my fiance, who I've been with for 5 years, by acting like a whore.
Original post by black_mamba
I never said anything about having sex instantly, but if you withhold when you actually want to have sex, you're essentially playing to a set of imagined arbitrary social rules. To me that's the sort of weird, convoluted advice you get from women's magazines that actually annoys men because it's dishonest.

I think absolute rules are dangerous, like "don't ever have sex too quickly". I personally don't think this has a huge bearing on whether men want to have relationships with you or not, but not everyone agrees with that. I'm quite a bit older than most people here, so it might be a generational thing, but I've had a couple of short term flings that turned into wonderful relationships. It's not unheard of, but maybe it is rare.

Anyways it's kinda irrelevant sorry OP I took thread off on a tangent there.


The rules differ depending on each situation, but examining the circumstances of OPs life, if she DOES put out quickly, one would attribute that to the reason why she cannot get a serious relationship.
Original post by phunky_fresh
Erm there aren't any mind games included here. If this girl has discovered that no guy wants a relationship with her and she's sleeping with then too early on, it makes sense to hold off for a while.

If all the guy wants is sex OP yes he will lose interest quickly, but he will be doing you a favour in the long run. If a dude genuinely likes you he will be patient and wait. Its that simple, so you can either keep doing what your doing and if you get the same result then it might not ever change. Or you can take things slow and see how it goes, he may stick around for the long haul who knows.

You sleep with him early on - he loses interest , you write a post on here stating no guy wants a relationship with you.

You hold out for a little while - he loses interest, at least you haven't slept with him.

It won't harm you to do things differently. Sex isn't the answer to everything you know. If all else fails maybe you need to look a little deeper and spend more time on yourself, then the right guy will come your way.


I have already said that I do not put out quickly, I was seeing a guy we had been seeing each other regularly for 2 months we then had sex and he disappeared.
I rule myself out :biggrin:
Original post by black_mamba
I never said anything about having sex instantly, but if you withhold when you actually want to have sex, you're essentially playing to a set of imagined arbitrary social rules. To me that's the sort of weird, convoluted advice you get from women's magazines that actually annoys men because it's dishonest.

I think absolute rules are dangerous, like "don't ever have sex too quickly". I personally don't think this has a huge bearing on whether men want to have relationships with you or not, but not everyone agrees with that. I'm quite a bit older than most people here, so it might be a generational thing, but I've had a couple of short term flings that turned into wonderful relationships. It's not unheard of, but maybe it is rare.

Anyways it's kinda irrelevant sorry OP I took thread off on a tangent there.


Only a Sith deals in absolutes ! Sorry, had to be said.

OP, I think it's best if you hold out a bit before having sex tbh. As much as it might deter the majority of douchebags, it will effectively filter out those that aren't interested in the possibility of a relationship/you as a person.

Granted, not all flings are simply flings and can result in relationships as the poster above has found. But I find young men around our age tend to have the 'wild oat complex' and a large portion aren't willing to settle for whatever reason, if you want to find the ones worthwhile it's a good idea.

Try different places to meet guys. Volunteer, get new interests and so forth as opposed to simply bars and clubs.
Original post by Anonymous
I have already said that I do not put out quickly, I was seeing a guy we had been seeing each other regularly for 2 months we then had sex and he disappeared.


Perhaps you simply aren't that compatible (meaning you share similar interests,worldviews,expectations regarding relationships) with these guys and need to try a new 'type' ?
OP do you have a lot in common with the men you want to have relationships with? Are you able to have fun adventures and feel mentally stimulated with each other? Do you have similar lifestyles and life goals? I was wondering, like the post above, if you are even meeting the right sorts of people?
Reply 19
All men want from women is sex. I'm not sure why women have such a problem with that. Only reason a guy would enter into a relationship with a girl is because sometimes that's the only way he'll get sex. It's not a big deal really, it's a non-issue. Relationships with girls are too much hassle and stress, that's why men have male friends and they're only interested in sex with girls, not interested in talking to them or having any kind of relationship. Too much headache.

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