Not turned on by bf

Recently I've got into a relationship with someone, and I really like him etc etc, but when it comes to sexual acts, I.e. Oral, touching, I just don't feel much in the way of arousal. I know that I can get aroused on my own, but for some reason I can't really when I'm actually with him.

I just don't understand why, as I'm perfectly comfortable around him, despite him being the first partner I've been with in a sexual way.

this causes problems for me, as it felt sort of like I had to pretend to enjoy things much more than I actually have, and it also means that i doubt we can have sex as despite being lubricated enough I don't feel turned on enough... I don't feel that this is normal, any thoughts?

Reply 1

black_mamba

14

Are you physically attracted to him?

Or maybe it's just nerves if he is your first?

Reply 2

elephont

1

Original post by Anonymous

Recently I've got into a relationship with someone, and I really like him etc etc, but when it comes to sexual acts, I.e. Oral, touching, I just don't feel much in the way of arousal. I know that I can get aroused on my own, but for some reason I can't really when I'm actually with him.

I just don't understand why, as I'm perfectly comfortable around him, despite him being the first partner I've been with in a sexual way.

this causes problems for me, as it felt sort of like I had to pretend to enjoy things much more than I actually have, and it also means that i doubt we can have sex as despite being lubricated enough I don't feel turned on enough... I don't feel that this is normal, any thoughts?

This is exactly how I was, I'd have a blank sort of feeling. I'm going to suggest it's nerves, I suffer from anxiety myself so it's a logical conclusion for me.

Advice would be don't actually expect sudden enjoyment and to relax about it. It's probably just intimidating to you.

(edited 9 years ago)

Not turned on by bf

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