The Student Room Group

How do I find a 'normal' gay guy?

Hey, so I'm in my early 20s, I "came out" when I was 17, and I have been "dating" since I was 18, but I have only ever dated 4 people, and I've never been past the fourth date.I wouldn't particularly say I was picky in any way (not to say I'd go with just anyone), but I try and go for guys who aren't a waste of time, yet somehow I always end up with that. I live in Glasgow, and I'd say that the gay community is quite big, but I don't know how to meet a 'normal' gay - by normal, I mean one who is somewhat mature and doesn't just want to have sex with any guy he sees, which appears to be the stereotypical type and the one I usually bump into.

I use dating sites, as it appears to be the modern thing to do now. But I genuinely feel that I'm getting nothing from this. I've been to a gay bar once (AXM), like I said i'm not picky, but the place was filled with really greasy, slutty, obnoxious guys, it was extremely off-putting. I've heard of another gay bar called Polo, but I've heard that it can be quite a judgmental place, on a completely opposite end of the spectrum from AXM.

How do I meet people? I don't quite think the whole "go to a library/coffee shop/gym and strike up a conversation" really works anymore. Hopefully people could give me their input, and hopefully it will help people in a similar position to me.
Reply 1
Maybe look at older guys? They will be more stable and mature and should be after more than sex. Best of luck.
Reply 2
Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I'm aiming at like mid-20s, but what I'm asking is how on earth do I find them?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Honestly I wouldn't worry. This was my experience whilst at uni and I think straight folk have a lot of the same issues in their 20s - a lot of people don't want to get into anything serious. Found my perfect person after more dodgy dates and...odd people than I would care for.

Keep doing what you're doing - unfortunately you have to sieve a lot of sand and stumble across a lot of rocks before you get the gem worth keeping. Online dating is definitely the way to go though as it should be a lot easier to ascertain whether someone has the same goals from dating.

Good luck :smile:
Hi,
I've recently discovered i may be bi or bicurious at the very least . I also have being looking for a 'normal' gay guy to date and basically experiment with. My problem is I'm a laddy lad in the past and even sometimes now i sleep with girls and pull on nights out with my mates, i work out a lot lift heavy weights , do boxing play football etc. All the gay guys I've come across are ridiculous. creepy, constantly horny worse than any straight lad I've ever known and basically I'm getting put off the idea of being with a guy i know there some normal nice gay guys around... also i only want to get with a straight acting lad who is healthy works out etc...... i don't know man i wander as for the getting with older dudes comment nooooooooo don't old gays are just as bad and less attractive !!!!!!!! hope u sort things out mate
You sound like my ideal guy haha! I'm also trying to find a guy who doesn't just want NSA or ONS but I'm severely limited where I live. Have you tried OKCupid or Badoo? There are guys are there who are looking more for a long-term relationship, which would be ideal for you I guess.

Good luck :smile:
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
You sound like my ideal guy haha! I'm also trying to find a guy who doesn't just want NSA or ONS but I'm severely limited where I live. Have you tried OKCupid or Badoo? There are guys are there who are looking more for a long-term relationship, which would be ideal for you I guess.

Good luck :smile:


Yeah I've tried OkCupid, I find that it can be full of people who are a little too self-indulged. So it's hard to find the in-between. I know I'll have to go through a lot of ****heads but it's just frustrating knowing that there is someone out there that is suited for me but I'll either never meet them or it will be a long time until I do. Then again I am a fan of spontaneity, so randomly finding that person by chance and just bumping into them would be amazing.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I've recently discovered i may be bi or bicurious at the very least . I also have being looking for a 'normal' gay guy to date and basically experiment with. My problem is I'm a laddy lad in the past and even sometimes now i sleep with girls and pull on nights out with my mates, i work out a lot lift heavy weights , do boxing play football etc. All the gay guys I've come across are ridiculous. creepy, constantly horny worse than any straight lad I've ever known and basically I'm getting put off the idea of being with a guy i know there some normal nice gay guys around... also i only want to get with a straight acting lad who is healthy works out etc...... i don't know man i wander as for the getting with older dudes comment nooooooooo don't old gays are just as bad and less attractive !!!!!!!! hope u sort things out mate


Your comment is extremely contradictory and highly judgemental. I don't particularly appreciate what you've said, but it is your opinion, but that kind of opinion isn't why I've created this post. I was looking for some help, or maybe if some other people are in a SIMILAR position, they could also give their input.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Sorry If you don't appreciate what I said but I was being honest that is my experience so far ! A very negative one enough to kill any bicuriousosity off however im still hopefull I'll find a lad who's like minded and into what I am
Error in your title. No gay guy is normal :colone:

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