Year 12 - Attempting to 'date' a girl in my EPQ class

My sixth form is one where most students are from the attached secondary school, but there are 20 or so new people in the year and about 50 students who left in year 11.

There's a new girl (well, I say new, but it's been months since September :biggrin:

) in my EPQ class, which happens once a week for an hour. She's in different friendship groups to me, but we have friends in common and she's not overtly popular.

Anyhow, I hadn't talked to her ever, but last lesson we shared a rather nice bit of banter for a minute or two. We both laughed a little and went on as strangers. Nonetheless, I saw her again after the lesson and she said hello, which seemed like her acknowledgment that I was no longer a stranger. Social discourse dictates I should have started a conversation, but I instead said hello and looked at my phone and pretended to be busy.

My problem in my sixth form is that I was a massive **** in secondary school and a lot of people still see me like that. There are a few girls amongst friends who don't, but I'm in a friend position (but not in any real friendship circles) with them and I'm thus not interested in them as much.

QUESTION:
I WOULD like to have a girlfriend though, and I'm interested in the girl in my EPQ class based on first impressions. How can I create a friendship with her where I'm close enough to ask her out but not close enough to seem like desperate or something?

(I'm really inexperienced in the girls department)

Reply 1

Alaric III

You talk to her, find common interests, talk more. You'll probably become friends that way. Then if there's a spark, and she appears to also be interested you don't hesitate and ask her out. It doesn't matter about your past, if she likes you, she likes you. If she doesn't then don't sweat it.

The most important thing is to be relaxed about it.

Reply 2

danty

Ask her out now.

Forget getting to know her better first: that's how you get friendzoned and it's a hard upward slope getting the hell out of there. Ask her out, get to know her on dates, rather than just bumping into her in class. If you don't ask her out now, someone else will.

~Matt

Reply 3

ZSuperSaiyan

Ahh mate, you are really overcomplicating it. Just talk to her next chance you get. Make playful eye contact. Touch her casually (like put hand on shoulder in conversation) Get phone number. Arrange to meet up. Proceed intense making out and sex.

That above is easy, the problem I detect with you is insecurity and desperation. Don't let her feel the fact you WANT a girlfriend radiating from you reach her. Act laid back and like you don't care and like she needs to work for your time and attention. That being said you have a long way until you reach that stage, and Im 80% sure you'll get rejected, but thats a good thing. Get rejected, learn from experience, get better, soon you will be handling girls with no sweat.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by danty

There's nothing inherently special about me until you get to know me, if ygm. So that would be counterproductive. Also, nobody I know straight up asks for dates.

Reply 5

danty

Original post by Anonymous

There's nothing inherently special about me until you get to know me, if ygm. So that would be counterproductive. Also, nobody I know straight up asks for dates.

Nobody you know gets very far either, then.

The fact is if you spend your time making friends then that's EXACTLY what you'll be to her - friends, nothing more.

Escaping the friend zone is far harder than avoiding it in the first place. Stop putting people above yourself and stop putting yourself down. People will like you for being you when you start liking yourself for being you. All I'm saying is ask her on a date. I'm not saying get all "Facebook-official" and meeting each others parents, but rather arrange to meet for the purpose of getting to know each other a little better rather than pussying out of asking a girl you like out and using "getting to know her first" as an excuse.

Grow a pair of balls. Ask her out. If you don't, someone will beat you to it and you'll be wondering how when they barely know eachother.

~Matt

Year 12 - Attempting to 'date' a girl in my EPQ class

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