Girlfriend doesn't always say "I love you" back to me.

When I say it to her, most of the time she says she loves me back, but at times like for example today when at the end of the conversation on Skype I said that I love her, she didn't say it back and this made me feel empty / confused.

Maybe I am just an emotional guy and overreact but I'd like her to mention love to me once in a while as well, without the need of me saying it first. Actually she only said it once herself, and that was during sex :| .
I wish she could also express a bit more happiness when I said I was thinking of buying tickets to visit her next month...

Does she like me only for sex, or she actually has feelings for me, I do not know. I do not need the sex itself - I need trust, love and sex combined, meh...

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Stop saying it to her unless she says it first for a while

Reply 2

AlexJWise

Saying I love you has different meanings to most people. Some people think that saying it is extremely important and that it should be said often, whilst others think that the actions that cause you to feel that way are more than enough to make up for the words, so don't say it as much.

If you say it often, it can lose the meaning it had originally. Saying it every day, every week, it doesn't really have the same impact that it really should. Saying it when you do something with her that makes you remember that you love her and why you do, that's probably the time to say it.

Also if it's something that continues to bother you, a bunch of strangers on the internet can offer vague advice, but she's the only one who can really help you with the issue.

Reply 3

Emily.97

Many people express their love for each other in different ways. You appear to be very vocal about it, whereas it may be that your partner is the opposite.

Reply 4

SleepingLion3

I'll say 'I love you' if I feel like saying it in the moment. And if someone says they love me, I'll say it back usually, sometimes I don't feel like it's necessary to say it back though.

Maybe your gf isn't quite ready to say it yet, is it still early in the relationship?

Reply 5

scindapsus95

Perhaps you need to have an honest conversation between the two of you to work out whether her not saying I love you or not expressing much happiness at the thought of seeing you is something that reflects how she is feeling about the relationship. I hope for your sake that it doesn't, but it's better to have these things out in the open than you potentially wasting money if she isn't bothered.

That said, as people above me have mentioned, it may be that the words mean different things to different people, and she may be waiting for the right moments to say it. Maybe ask her why, and say it's out of curiosity?

Either way, you deserve a fully satisfying relationship, whether that's now or in the future, so something here should be changed if you're feeling concerned about it, as it shouldn't be a source of concern in your life.

Reply 6

whatisthis47

Not a lot of people move at the same speed as each other in a relationship. Talk to her about it if you're really concerned. Either she doesn't think she's going to love you or she's scared to.

It's a huge step. For some it's really easy to accept, for others it's really complicated. For example, for me its really complicated and really bloody difficult but for my boyfriend it was easy. He and I have been together since September/Octoberish and he said it to me in December but I haven't said it yet and don't think I'll be saying those three words for a while because I'm scared. Since October he was asking me if I think I love him and I always just said I was unsure. When he asked me on one paricular day in December I just kind of blurted out "yes" and followed it with "I said that too fast". :redface:

I wasn't sure if I said it because I actually felt it or because at the time I was pretty infatuated with him. When I asked him how he felt he said that he loves me. Since then he says "I love you" and he sort of rhetorically asks if I love him (usually during an important conversations when he thinks I need reassuring) and I answer "yes" each time but I've never actually said the words "I love you" to him because it's so difficult. I know I love him but I don't know if I *love* him. I don't want to say it until I know that that's how I feel because they aren't just words.

If you and your girlfriend have spoken about a long term future then she's probably just thinking about whether or not she's committed enough to make that statement. If you haven't done this then speak to her. If you have concerns then talk to her about it. She's the one in the relationship, not us.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

EllieC130

If she says it some of the time then honestly I'd say your being paranoid. Some people don't just want to say it all the time because they feel like it takes the meaning away from it with little throwaway "I love you"s. Don't worry too much.

Reply 8

Accean

She's a

. Dump her sorry ass.

It's not the frequency of how often she says I love you.

It's about basic human politeness and having mutual respect. If someone says

Reply 9

Accean

She's rude. No respect = no love.

When someone says hello, it's normal to say hello back.

Reply 10

Goaded

Meh I've never been one to constantly say I love you explicitly, doesn't mean I don't. Tell her how you're feeling

Reply 11

Asamdharshan

My boyfriend always say I love you but i don't respond him back it's like I feel shy or i don't know it's nt coming from my mouth...why m I like dat??

Reply 12

Asamdharshan

My boyfriend always say I love you but i don't respond him back it's like I feel shy or i don't know it's nt coming from my mouth...why m I like dat??