Drinking vodka every morning before work
I've been drinking every single morning before work for 3 months since I started my new job. Every morning I drink 8 shots of vodka mixed with diet coke. I've suffered with SA for the past 7 years or so but have never sought help.
I had to relocate 60 miles from home for this job, and I don't drive so I'm having to house share with strangers and that is really stressful. At the moment I'm doing 'class room' based training before actually starting in my role. Being in the class room is exonerating my anxiety to the max. Everyone else contributes and speaks out and I'm the odd one out and my awkwardness is incredibly obvious and it makes me feel like crap. Everyone thinks I'm a bit weird, and a lot of them tend to get very quiet around me.
My anxiety in this job has got so bad that I'm even drinking now on my lunch break. I spend my entire lunch break in the toilet so I can drink more in order to numb my nerves. I needed the toilet at one point while in the class room and I was too embarrassed to ask to go in front of everyone and so actually ended up urinating myself on my seat.
Now one of my trainers has noticed my behaviour. When I returned from my toilet after lunch, she singled me out and got me to come into a room with her. She told me she knows that I've been spending a lot of time in the toilet and wanted to see if everything was OK, I was humiliated. And closed up and told her everything was fine. The way she said it was patronizing and I felt very uncomfortable. And that has made things worse for me.
The anxiety and alcohol is slowly killing me and I'm only 25. I really just want to move back home and live and work there but because I was signed on Job Seekers Allowance for a month before starting this job, I won't be entitled to any support if I quit this one. And I don't know what to do. I really don't like living away from home and working where I am at the moment. And I know for a fact I will continue drinking in order to cope with my situation.
I've just found out about ESA - would I be entitled to this?, if so, how would I go about claiming it for a short-while?. I do want to work, but I just need to move back home and live with my family and have the financial support to look for work where I live.
Thanks for any advice
I had to relocate 60 miles from home for this job, and I don't drive so I'm having to house share with strangers and that is really stressful. At the moment I'm doing 'class room' based training before actually starting in my role. Being in the class room is exonerating my anxiety to the max. Everyone else contributes and speaks out and I'm the odd one out and my awkwardness is incredibly obvious and it makes me feel like crap. Everyone thinks I'm a bit weird, and a lot of them tend to get very quiet around me.
My anxiety in this job has got so bad that I'm even drinking now on my lunch break. I spend my entire lunch break in the toilet so I can drink more in order to numb my nerves. I needed the toilet at one point while in the class room and I was too embarrassed to ask to go in front of everyone and so actually ended up urinating myself on my seat.
Now one of my trainers has noticed my behaviour. When I returned from my toilet after lunch, she singled me out and got me to come into a room with her. She told me she knows that I've been spending a lot of time in the toilet and wanted to see if everything was OK, I was humiliated. And closed up and told her everything was fine. The way she said it was patronizing and I felt very uncomfortable. And that has made things worse for me.
The anxiety and alcohol is slowly killing me and I'm only 25. I really just want to move back home and live and work there but because I was signed on Job Seekers Allowance for a month before starting this job, I won't be entitled to any support if I quit this one. And I don't know what to do. I really don't like living away from home and working where I am at the moment. And I know for a fact I will continue drinking in order to cope with my situation.
I've just found out about ESA - would I be entitled to this?, if so, how would I go about claiming it for a short-while?. I do want to work, but I just need to move back home and live with my family and have the financial support to look for work where I live.
Thanks for any advice
It sounds to me like you should talk to your GP about a referral for CBT to try and tackle the anxiety that way.
I am exactly the same. 10 years on and off I've had the symptoms of SA and the occasional panic attack. I had to leave a job in a call centre because it got so bad I literally couldn't speak on the phone.
There was a time when I'd mix vodka into a bottle of lucozade so I could calm my nerves through all the meetings at work etc. It really did help. Now I've a different job just a few hours a day but still can't function without having a couple of shots beforehand.
Its definitely not the best solution, but from personal experience its much more effective than meds and it works almost instantly.
CBT may be a good route to go down. I'm currently waiting for an appointment so I can get out of this rut. Definitely see your gp, they can point you in the right direction and please know that you're not alone.
There was a time when I'd mix vodka into a bottle of lucozade so I could calm my nerves through all the meetings at work etc. It really did help. Now I've a different job just a few hours a day but still can't function without having a couple of shots beforehand.
Its definitely not the best solution, but from personal experience its much more effective than meds and it works almost instantly.
CBT may be a good route to go down. I'm currently waiting for an appointment so I can get out of this rut. Definitely see your gp, they can point you in the right direction and please know that you're not alone.
