bf really depressed and i dont kow what to do

i recently started uni and moved away from home and my bf. i go home most weekends so i see him nearly every week but recently he said he is getting really depressed because he has too much college work to do and doesnt see me as much as he would like. i go home as much as i can but i dont want to spend all my free time there. I want to know how can you deal with someone who is depressed to make them fell better?

Reply 1

username47781

Try and be there for him as much as possible, just reassure him you love him and care about him.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

i try to but sometimes it hard when you are so far away from someone

Reply 3

username47781

True it is, do you talk to him much while you are away from him?

Reply 4

The Guru

Hey anon, the best thing you can do really is to talk to him and if you're so inclined to, reassure him by telling him no matter how less of a time you spend together, you'll always be thinking about him and he can always pick up the phone and talk to you.

You're at uni now and you've moved away. I think the situation will be is you will change and grow up a lot quicker because it sounds like you want to concentrate on studying and uni life. Your b/f on the other hand wants to stay worried about you and your relationship together and he's probably worrying about the bad things when he doesn't need to. Working is tiring him out and he's got nothing to look forward to when he finishes work. He needs a past time too.

I'm sure you can both work this out, you just need to discuss things more.

Reply 5

Llamaaa

my boyfriend was like that too. Although he had slightly more reason to because he lives a 19 hour flight away and I only see him about every 4 months. hahaha

what I do is just tell him that I love him, phone him, talk on msn, ooh and send stuff in the post. It's always nice to receive an old fashioned letter :biggrin:

Reply 6

_jo_

yes i try to everyday on the phone or msn but recently it been hard to keep in contact because iv been short of money for phone cred.
hes never seemed depressed before we'v been goin out for 2 and a half years and he just told me he feels depressed this weekend and i dont really know why now? or if it is goin to be a short term thing

Reply 7

username47781

I guess it's just a phase he's going through.

Reply 8

rmyl

Have you got a date when you know you'll be together again. ie. short term - christmas, long term - you move to live with/near him or the other way round. Having a known date when you'll see each other often helps people. Thats what I try an focus on in my long distance relationship. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't and it affects some people more than others.

Is there something else he could be worrying about? something he's not mentioned? You've not got long til christmas if you're going to see him for a long time then. Surprise him with things the times you do see him too, they can help make people look forward to the next meeting more, rather than dwelling on the time you're not together.

Hope that helps a bit. I know exactly how you and him feel, you're not alone.

Reply 9

Wez

You’re at Uni, so you're presumably sleeping in a room surrounded by thousands of guys your age? That might have something to do with it? Even if he trusts you, which I hope he does, it’s still unnerving.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

'19 hour flight away and I only see him about every 4 months. hahaha' it would kill me being that far away form my bf.

i am goin to spend all christma with him 2 weeks so that should be really good.

He did really worry about me goin to uni and meeting other lads that i may see everyday and get along well but im more of a girly person and 90% of the ppl i talk to and hang around with are girls. i might try and ask him if that still bothers him.

thank everyone for all the advice, its helped a lot :smile: