Just left the father of my child and now everyone hates me.

Read my post above and things can work out depending on how bad the situation is

this is why parents should get married first THEN have a kid. Better chance of staying together.
I bet you're both under 23 too...way too young to get a child. I feel sorry for your family and hope you sort it out but if there's no spark and don't fancy him anymore. i can't blame you.

Shame the baby will be brought in this mess

And if you've read the OP then you'd know that she didn't decide on it lightly. I think that would show how bad the situation is.



Hate to say this but married couples can divorce too.

And what's age got to do with it?


Posted from TSR Mobile

And if you've read the OP then you'd know that she didn't decide on it lightly. I think that would show how bad the situation is.



Hate to say this but married couples can divorce too.

And what's age got to do with it?


Posted from TSR Mobile

She can still take care of the baby even if she isn't with the father

Posted from TSR Mobile

I have been with this guy if three years and we have a 16 month old. I knew there was no spark early on but at the time was very lonely and got with him for all the wrong reasons. I wanted the company mostly. I soon realised that I could be with him as more than a friend as romantics,my there wasn't anything more. Then I found out I was pregnant. I tried and tried to make things work. But in the end there really is no spark there and I am not attracted to him sexually. Not only that, while he works full-time he hates working and had little motivation to better himself and do something he enjoys. He does little house work and is generally lazy. He has personal attributes that are not compatible to mine. He's not a bad guy but not for me.

I left him last week and now everyone is having a go at me. It was a hard decision to leave and I feel guilty myself for splitting up my family. But it wasn't s decision I took lightly. Am I really a bad person for doing this? Would you exoect someone in my position to stay with the father of theirs hike for the sake of the children? I feel so sad right now.

Exactly. I left my wife three weeks after the birth of our first child because I fell in love with my more attractive co-worker, and I still see my child every fortnight. If the spark goes, you have to move on, simple as that.

obviously but there's more stability in a marriage couple than 2 young partners

of course age is relevant. They're ****ing below 23 and the guy isn't even on a great job and has a kid already lol that relatioship was doomed to fail.
How old are you? I bet you're in a similar situation.

No, my point was that if you knew your relationship wont last/stand then why have a baby as this will affect things and can make matters worse.

10/10

And yeah, putting it like that shows how absurd the "she has done nothing wrong" position is.

I'm 23, married, no kid and even if I do my husband has a great job so not exactly in similar situation

I just hate the stigma of young parents. I mean are we supposed to treat under 23s as kids or something?

Posted from TSR Mobile

The stigma is justified if both parents haven't:
A) planned for a child
B) don't have the funds to look after the baby
C) both parents don't have a great job to look after the family
D) most young people are immatur

Under23s aren't kids but most haven't established a career, their own house etc

I know people I went to uni with that have established career 2 years after graduating. And owning a house is not needed for having a child.

Young people are immature because they are treated as kids until like 25 or something ridiculous.

Posted from TSR Mobile

The worst thing that can happen for a child is to be brought up in a family where the parents are unhappy in the relationship,imo.
Being brought up with fights, arguments and rows constantly would've been a terrible childhood

Hope OP's ex-boyfriend does the decent thing and flees the country to avoid paying child support.

Good luck finding someone willing to raise an accident..

The first and obvious thing to say is that you were stupid for having a baby and staying with this man. Now your overwhelming need for "company" has and will impact the life of you and your child forever.

Your entire post comes across as selfish and you feeling sorry for yourself. You got with him because you were lonely and needed attention. You're not attracted to him sexually. He doesn't do it for you. He works full time but he's lazy and doesn't clean the house. How the hell does someone work full time and be lazy? What are you doing while he's out working full time in a job you yourself said he hates, which he has to do to provide for you and his child? Are you working full time too? I find that unlikely.

Yeah you shouldn't stay in an unhappy relationship etc, but it's difficult to not see this as you breaking up a family because the husband doesn't make you wet anymore or give you constant attention. Considering your original reason for getting with him it's reasonable to assume I am correct in saying you just want more attention. To call him lazy while he's out breaking his balls doing something he hates for 40+ hours a week, to provide for you, is a joke.

You're stupid for having a baby with this man, leaving him was probably the right decision, but I'm not gonna pat you on the back for it like these other people. Now the rest of us are gonna have to fund you while you raise your baby alone cause you can't afford it. Good job.