Really struggling with driving :(

First of all, I really would advise you to stick with it. Eventually I'm sure it will "click". Being able to drive is a great skill to have and it'll make your life a lot easier if you can get your licence now. When you're older and start working you're a bit screwed if you can't drive.

Firstly it sounds like you are driving a diesel car if you have to change down gears before a roundabout? I much prefer driving a petrol car as they are more flexible with the gear ranges in general and I don't usually have to change down unless it's a motorway roundabout or something.

Would you/your parents be able to buy you a car to practice with? Or just get added to the insurance on one of theirs? I passed in less than a month but that was because I had my own car so had plenty of practice time. It must be really hard learning with only lessons as you forget things to a certain extent week to week.

It also may help you to read driving books or watch videos. Try and break down the things you find difficult into little steps in your head before you go out and practice them, rather than just rushing into it. I've driven on holiday in America before and was completely terrified, but doing this beforehand really helped me. Make sure you are really confident with your driving *knowledge* before you get in the car.

Also if you've only been taught by one person, perhaps their teaching style isn't right for you. Some instructors can be really negative and harsh, others are a lot kinder. So perhaps have a lesson with someone else and see if you feel any better.

Just keep working at it and you'll get there eventually

I really struggled when I began driving and still struggle today, it's not for everyone. It took me 18 months to pass and even then had my own car to practice on during the last 6 months, it took a lot of practice. I really wouldn't rush into your test as it puts more anxiety onto you. Have you considered changing to learning on an automatic? Personally, it helped me a lot and it sounds like it could be ideal if you're struggling with gears in certain places. I know it's hard but don't feel you have to stick with it if you don't like it

why don't you try an automatic car ? you don't need to worry about gears & they are almost impossible to stall.

I have been learning to drive since April 2014 and my test is at the beginning of May. I know a lot of people who only took 6 months of lessons and passed, however I'm having some problems.

I get really REALLY anxious driving, like literally it scares me silly. I shake when I'm in the driving seat. I recently took a mock test and was given 10 serious marks and 36 minors. No matter how many lessons I do I just can't seem to understand the road. I struggle on roundabouts and I always drive too close to the kerb or to other cars, but I can't tell!

I passed my theory in July with 45 on the questions and 60 on the hazard perception, it's just the actual driving I'm struggling with. I can't seem to time myself to go down gears when approaching roundabouts and the whole experience is overwhelming to me. My parents are paying for my lessons and test, but I feel guilty because I feel I'll never pass!

Is there anyone else in this situation? I just want to pass!

I know the feeling. I suffer from panic attacks in general. I rarely get them in every day life but I always feel as though I'm on the verge of one when I'm about to start my driving lesson. I'm usually ok once I get in the car but still anxious. I'm ok driving in little quiet streets but get so anxious driving in town or busy roads. I don't doubt my ability, its other drivers I tend to worry about more. I also get anxious when I'm a passenger in a car as well though.

My advice is to stick with driving. You probably feel like you will never get the hang of driving but I assure you, you will. Its not a race and you don't need to pass at any time. Just take it at your own pace. I know a few people who have took three years to pass due to nerves or being a perfectionist and not wanting to sit the test until they were sure they could make no minors.

Posted from TSR Mobile

If it makes you feel any better, I was/am in exactly the same boat. I have tried learning to drive so many times over the past 7 years but it never 'stuck' per say. I had no real problems with gears but I suffered badly from anxiety whenever I drove. I struggled with things like stopping on a incline without using the handbrake (as in, when you are at a roundabout for all off 3 seconds) and just navigating the car in general. I have no spatial awareness whatsoever and, like you, struggled to work out how close I was to the kerb and other cars. Also struggled when needing to change lanes and using mirrors correctly.

However, like others have said, I would stick with it. After all this time, I packed in trying but struggle to find work due to not driving. Life is 10x harder because my partner doesn't drive either and simple 15 minute journeys in the car take FOREVER on public transport. So yeah, I'd keep at it.

Hiya

I can wholeheartedly relate to you. I've had around 80 lessons spread out over a period of 6 years. When I got in a car my legs started to shake, my mouth would dry-up, I'd lose all sense of cognition and I'd wish the time of my lessons away.

After going through 5 instructors I came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with having the wrong one - I had a genuine phobia of driving. After letting it lay dormant for 2 years swearing to myself I'd never be a driver and put myself through all that again, I had a sudden change of heart and decided to see a psychologist. We summed up that I was particularly terrified of roundabouts, hill-starts and manoeuvres so we worked on that and I'm now back on the road again (taking it one lesson at a time but I've had 5 so far).

Be up front with your instructor. Tell him/her of your fears so they'll go easy on you - I did and she's being extra patient with me letting me do things at my own pace. Also, give yourself extra space on the road as it might help you feel more relaxed. I take Bachs oil before I get into the car too and it does calm me down and if I need any whilst I'm out on my lesson I out some more on my tongue (whilst pulled over of course).


The incapability to drive along with the fear made me feel stupid. I used to see my friends / peers pass their test and feel both envious and ridiculous. I used to think 'how come they can make it look so easy?', but it's not a race and what's reassuring is that there's some pretty intelligent people that can't drive either - Einstein apparently said it he didn't want to learn as it was too complicated! Don't give up though, I'm sure you'll get there in the end just don't be too hard on yourself.

I started learning to drive in 2009 (I think) when I was 17 and I hated every second of it.
I was shy anyways and driving felt so unnatural. I failed 4 tests and spent so much money on lessons, I was beginning to think that I'd never pass. Like you, I did manage my theory first time though.

In November 2014 I decided I had to start again for work and whatnot. I'd been away at University, I'd done some travelling (a lot of travelling alone) and I was more relaxed and more confident about life in general than I was at 17. I think this definitely helped a lot.

Looking back, I just don't think I had the confidence in myself at 17 and driving just wasn't a natural instinct to me (I wouldn't look at junctions and I couldn't grasp roundabouts at all). Moving away and doing other things that scared me honestly helped me become a more confident driver. Obviously I'm not suggesting you just move away and it will help, but maybe try doing other things that scare you. It definitely helped with me more than I ever thought it would and if I ever got scared while driving, I'd think of something I was more scared of.

I recently passed my test after taking my time finding a calm, friendly instructor who taught me in the way I understood. I absolutely 100% feel it was worth the wait. I feel more confident now aged 23 than I ever did at 17 and I have no problems jumping in my car and driving wherever I need to. I was the last of ALL of my friends to pass, but I don't feel thats a issue. It really isn't a race! It's surely better that YOU feel confident at the wheel, than having a licence and being terrified to drive. Speaking as someone who's just passed, it's absolutely NOT the end of the world if it takes you a few goes. I took 5 tests (way more than everyone I know) but I feel so much more confident having those extra lessons, and coming across situations other people haven't (snow, driving at night...).

So I guess the point of this post is take all the time you need. So what if it takes you a year, or 2, or more? The more important thing is that you feel confident, comfortable and relaxed at the wheel. Take the time to learn at night, to learn in the winter and to drive in different cities while you have an experienced instructor beside you. I miss the days I could turn to my instructor and ask about things I'm not sure of. Now it's all up to me, which is scary in itself!

It's all about confidence. And if I can do it, you certainly can.

I was the same...driving terrified me and I'd leave each driving lesson drenched in sweat! It took me a good few weeks of driving every day in my own car when I had no choice but to drive on my own that I started to feel slightly more at ease. I still don't enjoy driving in towns. So many times I've parked up and been like 'I'm NEVER driving again!!'.

You just have to think that if all the other millions of people on roads can drive (and think of how many total idiots there are in the country!) then there is no reason that you can't do it too

It takes a lot of practice before driving becomes natural...long after you pass your test. I'm still learning and making mistakes every time I go out in my car. What helped me in lessons was to try and slow down a bit..I rushed everything and always ended up heading to roundabouts too fast and like you struggling with gears, all because I was scared of going too slow and annoying people.

As other people have suggested it's a good idea to try and get yourself on your parents insurance and practicing in their car if you can. I didn't have this chance as my Mum doesn't drive so I needed quite a lot of lessons and failed a test before I finally passed!

Don't give up! Best of luck!



Posted from TSR Mobile

Hiya

I can wholeheartedly relate to you. I've had around 80 lessons spread out over a period of 6 years. When I got in a car my legs started to shake, my mouth would dry-up, I'd lose all sense of cognition and I'd wish the time of my lessons away.

After going through 5 instructors I came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with having the wrong one - I had a genuine phobia of driving. After letting it lay dormant for 2 years swearing to myself I'd never be a driver and put myself through all that again, I had a sudden change of heart and decided to see a psychologist. We summed up that I was particularly terrified of roundabouts, hill-starts and manoeuvres so we worked on that and I'm now back on the road again (taking it one lesson at a time but I've had 5 so far).

Be up front with your instructor. Tell him/her of your fears so they'll go easy on you - I did and she's being extra patient with me letting me do things at my own pace. Also, give yourself extra space on the road as it might help you feel more relaxed. I take Bachs oil before I get into the car too and it does calm me down and if I need any whilst I'm out on my lesson I out some more on my tongue (whilst pulled over of course).


The incapability to drive along with the fear made me feel stupid. I used to see my friends / peers pass their test and feel both envious and ridiculous. I used to think 'how come they can make it look so easy?', but it's not a race and what's reassuring is that there's some pretty intelligent people that can't drive either - Einstein apparently said it he didn't want to learn as it was too complicated! Don't give up though, I'm sure you'll get there in the end just don't be too hard on yourself.