This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Does Warwick still have a rape culture?
- Why do some soldiers rape?
- Is it alright if my boyfriend slaps me?
- Participants needed!!
- Participants needed
- Students accused of rape at university bringing lawyers to hearings
- Examples of unjust laws in the UK
- Unconscious bias - is it time to rethink how we address VAWG?
- Master's Dissertation Participants
- an inspector calls seven deadly sins
- Compelling personal reasona
- Prime - law work experience!!!
- Capital Punishment Survey
- Atonement question about concealment
- can someone give feedback on my eng lit essay?
- could i talk about sexualisation in my gcse english speech?
- can someone give me feedback and help on my eng lit essay? (A level)
- Is it funny for the home secretrary to make such jokes?
- Gf got spiked on holiday
- Please help me, I’m reluctant to have intimacy
Was I raped
I never ever thought id post a thread like this.
Last night, i got very drunk and was split up from my friends in a club. My memory went after that. The next thing I know I'm waking up with a guy who tells me we had sex, tells me i was sick in a taxi, sick on myself, he showered me and then put me to bed.. and then we had sex..
I can't wrap my head around this.. is this rape? I obviously wasn't in a fit state, I never would choose to have a one night stand,
I really don't know what to do.
I don't even know him at all.
I can't stop crying, I feel really odd, like I've never felt how I do right now.
Mod edit: Please note that this is not a debate thread, give helpful advice to the OP only. Unhelpful/unsupportive advice will be removed and you may receive a card
Last night, i got very drunk and was split up from my friends in a club. My memory went after that. The next thing I know I'm waking up with a guy who tells me we had sex, tells me i was sick in a taxi, sick on myself, he showered me and then put me to bed.. and then we had sex..
I can't wrap my head around this.. is this rape? I obviously wasn't in a fit state, I never would choose to have a one night stand,
I really don't know what to do.
I don't even know him at all.
I can't stop crying, I feel really odd, like I've never felt how I do right now.
Mod edit: Please note that this is not a debate thread, give helpful advice to the OP only. Unhelpful/unsupportive advice will be removed and you may receive a card
(edited 9 years ago)
Scroll to see replies
How are you feeling now? Are you alright?
Original post by Anonymous
How are you feeling now? Are you alright?
No im really not
i dont know if my drink was spiked or what..i just dont know what to do next. i feel horrified tbh
I consider that to be rape. However, my understanding of the current laws is that drunken consent is still consent, and since you don't remember anything, it would be difficult to prove anything at all.
Oh crap I can see where this is going, some will say yes, some will cry no. Not to mention all the victim blaming that will happen
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
However from your mindset at the very least you have suffered a traumatic experience. Id say call the police but honestly I dont know what they can do. Definitely though you need to contact someone, like the Rape Crisis network or support groups in your area. Id also get yourself to a GUM clinic to test for any germs you may have contracted. They can also advise you were to go for help.
Im so sorry OP
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
However from your mindset at the very least you have suffered a traumatic experience. Id say call the police but honestly I dont know what they can do. Definitely though you need to contact someone, like the Rape Crisis network or support groups in your area. Id also get yourself to a GUM clinic to test for any germs you may have contracted. They can also advise you were to go for help.
Im so sorry OP
SOunds like it to be honest. I normally say that drunk sex isn't always rape but if you were so bad you blacked out and were sick on yourself and he had to wash you and put you to bed, there's not much excuse. If you were too drunk to be able to do any of those things yourself, how on earth could he think you could consent to sex?
What was he like in the morning? Did he apologize or show any regret about having sex? Do you have anybody in real life you can talk to about this?
Edit: Do you know if you used contraception or not? If you uded the pill and were sick it may not be as effective, it may be worth getting a morning after pill, though it is probably the last thing on your mind right now
What was he like in the morning? Did he apologize or show any regret about having sex? Do you have anybody in real life you can talk to about this?
Edit: Do you know if you used contraception or not? If you uded the pill and were sick it may not be as effective, it may be worth getting a morning after pill, though it is probably the last thing on your mind right now
(edited 9 years ago)
I don't know what to think in this situation.
If being drunk and still consenting to sex, rape?
It's clear the driver knew what he was doing and what state you were in so in this case I would say so...
If being drunk and still consenting to sex, rape?
It's clear the driver knew what he was doing and what state you were in so in this case I would say so...
Original post by silverbolt
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
Not necessarily. If it can be argued she was too drunk to make an informed decision to have sex and consent I think it is considered rape. By the sounds of things she was extremely drunk, and if she was sick on herself, couldn't shower or put herself to bed, I think many would agree that would be considered too drunk to consent
Original post by Anonymous
I never ever thought id post a thread like this.
Last night, i got very drunk and was split up from my friends in a club. My memory went after that. The next thing I know I'm waking up with a guy who tells me we had sex, tells me i was sick in a taxi, sick on myself, he showered me and then put me to bed.. and then we had sex..
I can't wrap my head around this.. is this rape? I obviously wasn't in a fit state, I never would choose to have a one night stand,
I really don't know what to do.
I don't even know him at all.
I can't stop crying, I feel really odd, like I've never felt how I do right now.
Last night, i got very drunk and was split up from my friends in a club. My memory went after that. The next thing I know I'm waking up with a guy who tells me we had sex, tells me i was sick in a taxi, sick on myself, he showered me and then put me to bed.. and then we had sex..
I can't wrap my head around this.. is this rape? I obviously wasn't in a fit state, I never would choose to have a one night stand,
I really don't know what to do.
I don't even know him at all.
I can't stop crying, I feel really odd, like I've never felt how I do right now.
I'd say your drink was spiked (and I say this as someone who has regularly spiked his own drink, for recreational purposes, with GHB... simply blacking out for a long period and doing things you don't remember is not normal, unless you are a long-term alcoholic)
And even if it wasn't, I very much doubt you were of a sound state of mind to consent.
Do you know who this guy is? Would you be able to identify him to police?
Original post by Anonymous
I never ever thought id post a thread like this.
Last night, i got very drunk and was split up from my friends in a club. My memory went after that. The next thing I know I'm waking up with a guy who tells me we had sex, tells me i was sick in a taxi, sick on myself, he showered me and then put me to bed.. and then we had sex..
I can't wrap my head around this.. is this rape? I obviously wasn't in a fit state, I never would choose to have a one night stand,
I really don't know what to do.
I don't even know him at all.
I can't stop crying, I feel really odd, like I've never felt how I do right now.
Last night, i got very drunk and was split up from my friends in a club. My memory went after that. The next thing I know I'm waking up with a guy who tells me we had sex, tells me i was sick in a taxi, sick on myself, he showered me and then put me to bed.. and then we had sex..
I can't wrap my head around this.. is this rape? I obviously wasn't in a fit state, I never would choose to have a one night stand,
I really don't know what to do.
I don't even know him at all.
I can't stop crying, I feel really odd, like I've never felt how I do right now.
Big hugs. Yes it is rape, you were not in a state to give consent.
Please get the help you need with counselling and support, check out Rape Crisis http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/ and get help, and if you feel up to it go to the police. And don't feel ashamed to talk to people and tell them, especially family - you need support. This is not your fault and I'm really sorry that this happened to you.
You were raped. Contact the police
He was clearly taking advantage of your drunken state.
If he was drunk too, I'd feel differently but it seems like he knew perfectly well what he was doing.
If he was drunk too, I'd feel differently but it seems like he knew perfectly well what he was doing.
Original post by silverbolt
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
I'm sorry but you are not accurately stating the law.
For it to be rape, the victim either did not consent or was incapable of giving consent. End of.
Has nothing to do with "saying no"
Frankly, it comes across as a bit rapey when guys tell girls who may have been raped that actually the bar for rape is much higher than it really is
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I consider that to be rape. However, my understanding of the current laws is that drunken consent is still consent, and since you don't remember anything, it would be difficult to prove anything at all.
Original post by silverbolt
The thing is for it to be rape you need to be able to know that you unequivocally and irrefutably said no and that this man forced himself on you.
Nope laws show that if you are too drunk to be able to consent then it is rape. You don't have to have said no, you just have to have been unable to say yes with full knowledge of what that yes means.
Get a blood test to check whether you were spiked
It's illegal and considered as rape to have sex with someone who is drunk and therefore cannot give proper consent. Inform the police!
Original post by greeneyedgirl
Nope laws show that if you are too drunk to be able to consent then it is rape. You don't have to have said no, you just have to have been unable to say yes with full knowledge of what that yes means.
I'll be darned. That's good to know.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I consider that to be rape. However, my understanding of the current laws is that drunken consent is still consent, and since you don't remember anything, it would be difficult to prove anything at all.
Drunken consent is still consent, but blacking out would strongly imply the possibility that she was incapable of giving consent.
Have you forgotten the Chad Evans case already?
Related discussions
- Does Warwick still have a rape culture?
- Why do some soldiers rape?
- Is it alright if my boyfriend slaps me?
- Participants needed!!
- Participants needed
- Students accused of rape at university bringing lawyers to hearings
- Examples of unjust laws in the UK
- Unconscious bias - is it time to rethink how we address VAWG?
- Master's Dissertation Participants
- an inspector calls seven deadly sins
- Compelling personal reasona
- Prime - law work experience!!!
- Capital Punishment Survey
- Atonement question about concealment
- can someone give feedback on my eng lit essay?
- could i talk about sexualisation in my gcse english speech?
- can someone give me feedback and help on my eng lit essay? (A level)
- Is it funny for the home secretrary to make such jokes?
- Gf got spiked on holiday
- Please help me, I’m reluctant to have intimacy
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
