Coping with the anger when you realise your relationship was a lie
I was with my boyfriend for a year and over the last week it ended for good.
I have recently realised there were alot of things he lied about when we were together. He would tell me things that didn't make sense and then when I tried talking to him about them properly he wouldn't explain himself and instead get annoyed. Eg. He told me his ex unblocked him and messaged him and then within 10 minutes she blocked him again. Facebook doesn't allow people to reblock within 48 hours of unblocking someone. He also told me about a psycho girl that he used to date and how he blocked her. I saw her comment on a picture of his and only friends can comment on his pictures. I feel like he mentally destroyed me because he would say things to hurt me if I annoyed him. He would then say he didnt mean it.. eg. He went to the extent of implying he had cheated to upset me.. Then tell me he didn't mean it and just said it to annoy me because he was upset and tell me I am ridiculous for thinking it because apparently it is obvious how in love with me he is and how I know him deep down...
I feel like I am going crazy. I have all these thoughts in my head that he pushed me towards thinking and then made to believe I am crazy for thinking them.. I cant cope with the anger and the confusion of the whole thing. I could do with some support ;(
I have recently realised there were alot of things he lied about when we were together. He would tell me things that didn't make sense and then when I tried talking to him about them properly he wouldn't explain himself and instead get annoyed. Eg. He told me his ex unblocked him and messaged him and then within 10 minutes she blocked him again. Facebook doesn't allow people to reblock within 48 hours of unblocking someone. He also told me about a psycho girl that he used to date and how he blocked her. I saw her comment on a picture of his and only friends can comment on his pictures. I feel like he mentally destroyed me because he would say things to hurt me if I annoyed him. He would then say he didnt mean it.. eg. He went to the extent of implying he had cheated to upset me.. Then tell me he didn't mean it and just said it to annoy me because he was upset and tell me I am ridiculous for thinking it because apparently it is obvious how in love with me he is and how I know him deep down...
I feel like I am going crazy. I have all these thoughts in my head that he pushed me towards thinking and then made to believe I am crazy for thinking them.. I cant cope with the anger and the confusion of the whole thing. I could do with some support ;(
I am a 20 year old guy and I know how you feel my ex girlfriend did something similar.He sounds like a c*nt .My ex quit using social media .It felt like all those emotions and time we had together was wasted.I found out she cheated on me twice and once went to visit her and she called the police and they turned up.She completely changed and told them I threatened her physically she started lying in front of the officers .I was in shock sadness turned into rage and anger.The police even put me in there car and I told my side of the dispute.
My advice is to get some fresh air and clear your mind block or blank out anyone who reminds you of him even his ex's if you know them.I know some girls who completely isolated themselves when their boyfriends acted like d*ck heads towards them.You need to surround yourself with good friends who are always happy even go out and meet completely different crowd of people than your used to.
But never let yourself get into the same situation again.
My advice is to get some fresh air and clear your mind block or blank out anyone who reminds you of him even his ex's if you know them.I know some girls who completely isolated themselves when their boyfriends acted like d*ck heads towards them.You need to surround yourself with good friends who are always happy even go out and meet completely different crowd of people than your used to.
But never let yourself get into the same situation again.
Get your friends together, go out and enjoy being single.
Original post by 061194
I am a 20 year old guy and I know how you feel my ex girlfriend did something similar.He sounds like a c*nt .My ex quit using social media .It felt like all those emotions and time we had together was wasted.I found out she cheated on me twice and once went to visit her and she called the police and they turned up.She completely changed and told them I threatened her physically she started lying in front of the officers .I was in shock sadness turned into rage and anger.The police even put me in there car and I told my side of the dispute.
My advice is to get some fresh air and clear your mind block or blank out anyone who reminds you of him even his ex's if you know them.I know some girls who completely isolated themselves when their boyfriends acted like d*ck heads towards them.You need to surround yourself with good friends who are always happy even go out and meet completely different crowd of people than your used to.
But never let yourself get into the same situation again.
My advice is to get some fresh air and clear your mind block or blank out anyone who reminds you of him even his ex's if you know them.I know some girls who completely isolated themselves when their boyfriends acted like d*ck heads towards them.You need to surround yourself with good friends who are always happy even go out and meet completely different crowd of people than your used to.
But never let yourself get into the same situation again.
What on earth!?
How did it lead to that? How was it resolved? I'm very sorry that you had to experience that.
It must be traumatising for you : /
Original post by kka25
What on earth!?
How did it lead to that? How was it resolved? I'm very sorry that you had to experience that.
It must be traumatising for you : /
How did it lead to that? How was it resolved? I'm very sorry that you had to experience that.
It must be traumatising for you : /
She straight out lied to the police officer.I went their to get my clothes out of her flat.She realized what she did was wrong but never thought it would actually hurt me.,so she played the pretend victims.I was gathering my clothes in her flat whilst she was there and there was a knock on the door.She called the police just before I came to collect my stuff. There's just some girls in life who just don't want guys to get on with their lives .Just want to watch them suffer.Girls like her past relationships or something made them very insecure and bitter towards others. She lied to the police that I threatened her. I'm one of the most gentle and soft guys anyone can ever meet.I actually did cry when walking home in the night with a bin bag of clothes.
That was my first ever relationship as-well I'm young and I'll learn from that. I'm not going to let that ruin my life.
Original post by 061194
She straight out lied to the police officer.I went their to get my clothes out of her flat.She realized what she did was wrong but never thought it would actually hurt me.,so she played the pretend victims.I was gathering my clothes in her flat whilst she was there and there was a knock on the door.She called the police just before I came to collect my stuff. There's just some girls in life who just don't want guys to get on with their lives .Just want to watch them suffer.Girls like her past relationships or something made them very insecure and bitter towards others. She lied to the police that I threatened her. I'm one of the most gentle and soft guys anyone can ever meet.I actually did cry when walking home in the night with a bin bag of clothes.
That was my first ever relationship as-well I'm young and I'll learn from that. I'm not going to let that ruin my life.
That was my first ever relationship as-well I'm young and I'll learn from that. I'm not going to let that ruin my life.
It's OK mate; karma will bite her bloody arse.
Original post by 061194
I am a 20 year old guy and I know how you feel my ex girlfriend did something similar.He sounds like a c*nt .My ex quit using social media .It felt like all those emotions and time we had together was wasted.I found out she cheated on me twice and once went to visit her and she called the police and they turned up.She completely changed and told them I threatened her physically she started lying in front of the officers .I was in shock sadness turned into rage and anger.The police even put me in there car and I told my side of the dispute.
My advice is to get some fresh air and clear your mind block or blank out anyone who reminds you of him even his ex's if you know them.I know some girls who completely isolated themselves when their boyfriends acted like d*ck heads towards them.You need to surround yourself with good friends who are always happy even go out and meet completely different crowd of people than your used to.
But never let yourself get into the same situation again.
My advice is to get some fresh air and clear your mind block or blank out anyone who reminds you of him even his ex's if you know them.I know some girls who completely isolated themselves when their boyfriends acted like d*ck heads towards them.You need to surround yourself with good friends who are always happy even go out and meet completely different crowd of people than your used to.
But never let yourself get into the same situation again.
I think one of the hardest parts of wondering if even his love for me might not have been true..
Also being made to feel like a psycho for being upset and angry at him. He mas made me feel like everything is my fault.
Anyone else?? 
My situation can't really compare but I was in a long distance relationship until last May (was about 8 months, I'd know him for several years). He visited in the winter (Dec. '13) but after that things changed. People said he might've been cheating, who knows. Suddenly he was busy all the time (that wasn't anything new though) but had no time to talk to me, before he try to find time here and there to skype, always texted me when he could, etc. He nearly broke up with me at one point because he thought I didn't express my true opinions about things (it was silly really, totally not true). His two close female friends had advised him to speak to me. When it ended I was mad because he had said some hurtful things, it was kind of a build up of stuff. I talked with a close male friend and ended up breaking up with him. The next day I thought it was a mistake and called him crying but he was mad, said I shouldn't have gone to a guy besides him to get advice about my relationship. I didn't realize for a bit it was very hypocritical of him. He probably still blames me for everything.
Anyway, it took me a few months but I realized it was good the relationship ended. He hadn't treated me right. Oh I should add it was my first relationship. I also dealt with some anger over the fact that he a) said the mean things and b) told me I shouldn't have gone to my guy friend. All I can say to you is try and look to the future. Accept what he did was wrong. Realize that there were signs there you should have picked up on (I know I should have done this). Maybe it's time to get to know yourself better, think about future relationships and what you'll do in the future. Being angry isn't going to change anything. It's in the past now. I know this may be hard to accept and it will take time to heal...But you will heal
Turn to friends for comfort and to help you take your mind off things, do activities that you enjoy and maybe haven't got to in a while.
Anyway, it took me a few months but I realized it was good the relationship ended. He hadn't treated me right. Oh I should add it was my first relationship. I also dealt with some anger over the fact that he a) said the mean things and b) told me I shouldn't have gone to my guy friend. All I can say to you is try and look to the future. Accept what he did was wrong. Realize that there were signs there you should have picked up on (I know I should have done this). Maybe it's time to get to know yourself better, think about future relationships and what you'll do in the future. Being angry isn't going to change anything. It's in the past now. I know this may be hard to accept and it will take time to heal...But you will heal
Turn to friends for comfort and to help you take your mind off things, do activities that you enjoy and maybe haven't got to in a while.Quick Reply
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