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what grade would you give this

I'm doing aqa literature at gcse level and for h/w we have been set a task to mark a fellow classmates work. can you plz help me by telling me what grade you would give to this one paragraph:

Steinbeckhas presented crooks as being a vicious and furious character. This is shown whenLennie comes into his rom and he responds in an ill-mannered way; “you got noright to come in my room. This here’s my room. Nobody got any right in her butme” The verb ‘right’ has been repeated twice; this therefore tells the readerthat the writer has used crooks to get the message of racism across. Steinbeck hasused crooks to emphasise how being a different race to others was ever so frighteningas you feel isolated and mistreated by people of other races. Steinbeck hasalso described Crooks through his appearance, “his body was bent over to theleft”. This quotation may link back to how he’s always the isolated one on oneside of the ranch and how the other members were on the other side of theranch. This all links to the contextual Era of 1900 in which black people werediscriminated against simply because of their race, this was very harsh but peoplehad to find to live in a calm and quite manner in order to prevent even morehatred.
What was the question that she/orhe is answering?
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qfhussain
OP
how does Steinbeck describe crook in the novella of mice and men (it was an extract from June 2013 AQA literature exam)
Hmmm, I'd say A.
It's very good and some parts are perceptive but some of the things said are unqualified, like: "Steinbeck hasused crooks to emphasise how being a different race to others was ever so frighteningas you feel isolated and mistreated by people of other races.". She didn't explain what makes it seem frightening. But then "This quotation may link back to how he’s always the isolated one on oneside of the ranch and how the other members were on the other side of theranch." is very good and perceptive. That comment alone would probably be A* type but put it all together and I would say A.
Reply 4
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qfhussain
OP
Thanks for your help, by the way are you a English teacher
Original post by qfhussain
Thanks for your help, by the way are you a English teacher


Oh, no, haha. I just have teachers who spend a lot of time talking to us about what you need to do to receive certain grades!
Low A/High B. Just needs to explain points in more detail.
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(edited 8 years ago)

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