The Student Room Group

Is he lying?

There's a guy I'm involved with (dunno how to label it...our relationship is sexual and romantic but we're not In a Relationship, also he lives miles away) who confuses me. He'll say he misses me but then he takes forever to respond to messages and apparently can't find the time to call me - no one is that busy. So is he just saying he misses me cos he thinks that's what I want to hear? Or does he perhaps actually miss me but thinks I'm boring to text/call? We've talked on the phone for hours in a row before so I don't reckon I'm that bad. So is he idk having sex w another girl but wants to 'keep' me by claiming to miss me and stuff sometimes? Or am I reading too much into it? :/ Btw we aren't exclusive but I doubt he is having sex with another girl although I could be wrong (not cos I think he's ugly or wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, but I don't think he's actually had a sexual relationship with anyone ever apart from me and his ex, and there's other reasons but don't wanna go into details).
The moment you start to question a relationship is the moment you let go.
Not sure you even read my thread tbh lol
Original post by purplehedgehog11
There's a guy I'm involved with (dunno how to label it...our relationship is sexual and romantic but we're not In a Relationship, also he lives miles away) who confuses me. He'll say he misses me but then he takes forever to respond to messages and apparently can't find the time to call me - no one is that busy. So is he just saying he misses me cos he thinks that's what I want to hear? Or does he perhaps actually miss me but thinks I'm boring to text/call? We've talked on the phone for hours in a row before so I don't reckon I'm that bad. So is he idk having sex w another girl but wants to 'keep' me by claiming to miss me and stuff sometimes? Or am I reading too much into it? :/ Btw we aren't exclusive but I doubt he is having sex with another girl although I could be wrong (not cos I think he's ugly or wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, but I don't think he's actually had a sexual relationship with anyone ever apart from me and his ex, and there's other reasons but don't wanna go into details).


I personally think he's just saying the "i miss you". Thing is, actions speak louder than words, if he misses you he would make the time to text or call you, however busy he is.
Original post by stargirl63
I personally think he's just saying the "i miss you". Thing is, actions speak louder than words, if he misses you he would make the time to text or call you, however busy he is.


That's what I think. :frown:
Original post by purplehedgehog11
There's a guy I'm involved with (dunno how to label it...our relationship is sexual and romantic but we're not In a Relationship, also he lives miles away) who confuses me. He'll say he misses me but then he takes forever to respond to messages and apparently can't find the time to call me - no one is that busy. So is he just saying he misses me cos he thinks that's what I want to hear? Or does he perhaps actually miss me but thinks I'm boring to text/call? We've talked on the phone for hours in a row before so I don't reckon I'm that bad. So is he idk having sex w another girl but wants to 'keep' me by claiming to miss me and stuff sometimes? Or am I reading too much into it? :/ Btw we aren't exclusive but I doubt he is having sex with another girl although I could be wrong (not cos I think he's ugly or wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, but I don't think he's actually had a sexual relationship with anyone ever apart from me and his ex, and there's other reasons but don't wanna go into details).


if he liked you 100% he'd make the time to call and text however limited the conversation may be, also he'd also want to be in an exclusive realationship with you. Even if he's not seeing someone else you need to ask yourself if he's really into you, there's no point wasting your time tbh
Hmm. Some people do take a while to reply to messages, and it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care/aren't interested. Some of your assumptions appear really extreme, but I can see the distress its causing you :/. Perhaps just try not to think the worst and challenge your thoughts in a rational way?
Original post by Lifeimitatesart
if he liked you 100% he'd make the time to call and text however limited the conversation may be, also he'd also want to be in an exclusive realationship with you. Even if he's not seeing someone else you need to ask yourself if he's really into you, there's no point wasting your time tbh


I don't like him 100% tho so doesn't make sense to expect him to. I just feel tbh that if you want to be friends with someone, unless the friendship is rly like old and secure, that you need to make sure you let the other person know that you value them by replying to messages? I get that people forget, don't know what to say, get overwhelmed with work etc, but he knows I'm insecure so he could make the effort to respond more consistently at least until our friendship is more well-established? :/ Like this is partly a 'relationship' problem but it's also a friendship problem, idk to what extent I'm just needy and unreasonable tho
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Emily.97
Hmm. Some people do take a while to reply to messages, and it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care/aren't interested. Some of your assumptions appear really extreme, but I can see the distress its causing you :/. Perhaps just try not to think the worst and challenge your thoughts in a rational way?


It's hard to challenge my thoughts when the other ppl in this thread reckon he's not Actually Into Me. For the record I'm not trying to get a Relationship here. He's a friend I have sex with who also acts romantic with me (and I do with him) but us going out would be a...quixotic idea, for reasons I won't go into here. I just don't think us not being together means he should get to behave in a way that he surely knows hurts my feelings, and I don't appreciate being treated like a thing that he has as an option until something better comes along that it's unnecessary to expend effort on? But I just don't know how much I should take his lack of communication personally. When I last saw him IRL he acted really into me pretty consistently but online he's flaky as ****
Original post by shawn_o1
The moment you start to question a relationship is the moment you let go.


shut up you don't know anything, you've clearly never been in a proper relationship if that's what your master approach is
Original post by potatomaker
shut up you don't know anything, you've clearly never been in a proper relationship if that's what your master approach is


lmao i appreciate your forward approach

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