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My boyfriend thinks I'm a whore for having a condom drawer.

tl;dr: Boyfriend has super conservative attitude towards women, should I end it?

I want to start by saying I adore my boyfriend. We've been together for 8 months and he's been great fun to be around the entire time. My friends and family like him too.
However, recently I've realised that he's very conservative with his view of how he thinks a 'lady' should behave and it worries me quite a lot. Like a lot of women, I have a drawer in my nightstand which has condoms in it, (which we use), but he doesn't think it's ladylike to keep protection around. He also doesn't think it's ok for me to not wear a bra (even though I'm small breasted) and I also get the feeling that he thinks it's unladylike that I'm quite a sexual person and that I enjoy sex a lot. (I don't sleep around as it's just not my thing, but I like to get adventurous in the bedroom and he thinks it's whorish). He also thinks that women should know how to cook, and that sort of thing.

I really care about him but his attitudes are really bothering me - I'm not a whore at all and I feel like he is slut shaming me for perfectly normal behaviour. I'm seriously questioning the future of our relationship now.

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Reply 1

Awesome Genius

He sounds like a real character. Are there any positives?

Reply 2

SnooFnoo

Well he sounds charming :/

if any man/bf told me I was whorish, he'd lose his testicles pretty quickly.

Ditch him, his attitude screams disrespect.

Reply 3

Sophie_girl

he sounds soooo lame.

how can you see a future in a relationship if you're not compatible sexually?

Reply 4

ssupernova

Original post by SnooFnoo

Well he sounds charming :/

if any man/bf told me I was whorish, he'd lose his testicles pretty quickly.

Ditch him, his attitude screams disrespect.

He will be singing soprano with me as well. He does sound a bit old fashioned as well as disrespectful , get with it mate .

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Reply 5

Lemon Haze

Jesus he sounds boring...

Reply 6

bullsizzle

End it IMO.
You might think these are small differences now, but remember as people get older they usually harden, not soften their views...
these views(values?) will shape how he wants to potentially raise kids, how his wife should behave etc etc etc

Plus he's obviously prudish and you sound fun (and SMART! as nothing dumber than unwanted pregnancies or STDs!)

Reply 7

words_of_heartss

its ok if a guy is merely conservative but he seems controlling,not good

Reply 8

lucaf

Would it be more ladylike for you to get STIs and/or pregnant? :tongue:

Sounds like a complete knob to be honest. And also a complete moron if he thinks his girlfriend liking sex is a bad thing

Reply 9

silverbolt

ok everyone has thier own thoughts and feelings and conservative ones can be taken in moderation.

BUT calling you a whore for being sensible and keeping condoms around is not fair, and shows his severe lack of respect for you. It also makes me wonder what other "old fashioned" views he has. Women shouldnt go out clubbing or to the pub, should stay at home and be a skivvy? Will he object to you finding a career instead of being a baby machine?

Personally i think you should have responded with a good ole fashioned woman's knee to the balls with a comment to join the 21st century..

Oh yes, his whorish comments are slut shaming you. Your sexual attitude is not wrong at all, your sexuall liberated with a partner, nothing wrong with that

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 10

Maker

Get a condom machine, they are a good little earner.

Reply 11

Josb

Original post by Anonymous

I also get the feeling that he thinks it's unladylike that I'm quite a sexual person and that I enjoy sex a lot. (I don't sleep around as it's just not my thing, but I like to get adventurous in the bedroom and he thinks it's whorish).

What a man. You deserve better. :biggrin:

Reply 12

miguapa

erm...not to be personal, but do you like moan/swear and stuff when doing it?

I think he's an uptight prick, he needs somebody better suited to him.

Reply 13

Chicken.M.

Unless he's a gentleman and also doesn't sleep around at all then I'd end it for being a hypocrite :tongue:

Reply 14

keladry

I'd personally end it. He is clearly sexist and you clearly have very different opinions and values. I don't see a way of your relationship working out without him limiting you or making you feel bad about yourself.