The Student Room Group

Should religion really end our love?

Hi everyone

Im a muslim female and my boyfriend is hindu. When we got together we didnt even mention our religious differences as we were having a bit of fun. However its now been a year and we are in love.

Iv been brought up in a muslim family and my parents want me to marry a muslim man. I myself dont practice. I drink alcohol, dress as i please, dont go to mosque etc. Its just a choice I have made. My boyfriend is hindu and has a connection with his religion. We have told our parents as we want to be together but there is strong disapproval from both sides.

My boyfriend wants to raise his children as hindu and i think i would be ok with this as i am not religious. However my parents would be deeply hurt if i left islam. It has put huge strain on us and we have been crying non stop as neither of us has the strength to end our relationship. I love him so much. We want to be together but are afraid because our families will cause drama and might not get on in the future. We say we are willing to fight this but it means me compromising more by turning towards hinduism. My parents would be so hurt

His parents are also against it but he says he will fight. Im not sure how much he is willing to though. He is also finding it very stressful and is afraid that I might change my mind

We are on a break to think about things and are meeting in a few days to talk. Fact is he is my best friend. Neither of us can end this. We have tried for a week and now eventually decided to give each other space to think.


Help! Ultimately it is our decision. But this hurts so badly. I never want to regret breaking it off. But at the same time i never want us to regret upsetting our family.

Im so lost
Religion is a difficult topic, it's just a belief or opinion, I honestly don't think it should end your relationship. I had a lot of friends who were raised in a strict Muslim house and they told me it was difficult to disagree. Real love is hard to find, if you guys love each other don't end it, if your parents can't adapt and learn to accept that you are your own person they are not worth listening to. Good luck though, I hope you get the outcome that you want!


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In my opinion, I think it's extremely selfish of (both) your parents to put their ideologies before their child's happiness. It seems they care more for how others see them then you both living your lives. Let's face it your parents aren't going to be there your whole life, whereas your partner probably will.

To me it's a no-brainer. As long as your sure this is someone you really want to be with.

That said though I do understand it can be difficult for some people, especially if you're still reliant on them which I know from experience is pretty common in Asian communities. I'd say wait until you both are in a position to become independent and then tell them to either deal with it or stop being a part of your lives. If they stop talking to you over this, they probably aren't worth keeping around anyway. I think they'll see sense however and realise something so trivial isn't worth loosing your child over.

I had an aunt in this position, although she was the hindu and her partner was muslim. When she told my mum, grandma and other aunt about how she wanted to marry him they were dead against it. She did it anyway. My mum boycotted the wedding. 12 years later they have 2 kids, my grandma visits them for 3 weeks every year and everyone is totally cool with it.

Good luck anyway.
(edited 8 years ago)
No, do it.
Original post by suzie8888
Hi everyone

Im a muslim female and my boyfriend is hindu. When we got together we didnt even mention our religious differences as we were having a bit of fun. However its now been a year and we are in love.

Iv been brought up in a muslim family and my parents want me to marry a muslim man. I myself dont practice. I drink alcohol, dress as i please, dont go to mosque etc. Its just a choice I have made. My boyfriend is hindu and has a connection with his religion. We have told our parents as we want to be together but there is strong disapproval from both sides.

My boyfriend wants to raise his children as hindu and i think i would be ok with this as i am not religious. However my parents would be deeply hurt if i left islam. It has put huge strain on us and we have been crying non stop as neither of us has the strength to end our relationship. I love him so much. We want to be together but are afraid because our families will cause drama and might not get on in the future. We say we are willing to fight this but it means me compromising more by turning towards hinduism. My parents would be so hurt

His parents are also against it but he says he will fight. Im not sure how much he is willing to though. He is also finding it very stressful and is afraid that I might change my mind

We are on a break to think about things and are meeting in a few days to talk. Fact is he is my best friend. Neither of us can end this. We have tried for a week and now eventually decided to give each other space to think.


Help! Ultimately it is our decision. But this hurts so badly. I never want to regret breaking it off. But at the same time i never want us to regret upsetting our family.

Im so lost


Ultimately its your life and your happiness...and whilst pleasing ones parents is awesome, pleasing them by sacrificing your happiness is inhuman.
Reply 5
Thanks for your replies everyone, I hope Saturday brings us joy. He has messaged me saying he doesnt want it to end but hes afraid i could change my mind and we shouldnt make any hasty decisions with our emotions. Hopefully some time to think will allow us to realise we want to fight for it
Reply 6
Just have sex with him then you both leave?
Reply 7
Hopefully it works out for you both, people should not take religion so seriously...it is 21st century after all.
Reply 8
Original post by suzie8888
Hi everyone

Im a muslim female and my boyfriend is hindu. When we got together we didnt even mention our religious differences as we were having a bit of fun. However its now been a year and we are in love.

Iv been brought up in a muslim family and my parents want me to marry a muslim man. I myself dont practice. I drink alcohol, dress as i please, dont go to mosque etc. Its just a choice I have made. My boyfriend is hindu and has a connection with his religion. We have told our parents as we want to be together but there is strong disapproval from both sides.

My boyfriend wants to raise his children as hindu and i think i would be ok with this as i am not religious. However my parents would be deeply hurt if i left islam. It has put huge strain on us and we have been crying non stop as neither of us has the strength to end our relationship. I love him so much. We want to be together but are afraid because our families will cause drama and might not get on in the future. We say we are willing to fight this but it means me compromising more by turning towards hinduism. My parents would be so hurt

His parents are also against it but he says he will fight. Im not sure how much he is willing to though. He is also finding it very stressful and is afraid that I might change my mind

We are on a break to think about things and are meeting in a few days to talk. Fact is he is my best friend. Neither of us can end this. We have tried for a week and now eventually decided to give each other space to think.


Help! Ultimately it is our decision. But this hurts so badly. I never want to regret breaking it off. But at the same time i never want us to regret upsetting our family.

Im so lost


Looks like you've already left Islam..dunno what you're so worried about..
if you end it with him,your relationship is lost forever. if you stay with him,its not possible ur parents r displeased forever. theyy will be you happy and let it be

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