Feel like a loser for going to uni at 23..

I started at 17 (I'm Scottish) but faced some problems due to being young (hallmates didn't want to be friends with someone who couldn't go out etc.) and after a few years ended leaving my course as I was really depressed (family issues too) and my uni was really bad at giving support.

I am now 21, working and planning to go back to uni. However, I'll be a mature student when I start again (23) and feel like such a loser because of this. I could have graduated at 20.

How do I stop thinking like this?

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Reply 1

Guru Jason

Lol, 23 is not really a mature student. When I was in final year, 2 of my first year flatmates were older than me and I was 23. There will be many people there older than you so there no real need to worry about it.

Reply 2

Wahrheit

Original post by Anonymous

I'll be 22 when I start this year and I think it'll be awesome. It puts me in prime position to be the alpha of my friendship circle and I've grown so much since I was 18 and know I'll get so much more out of uni. People like and respect older people more :smile:

. And you're not that much older, either, so they'll still consider you a peer. There's no downsides.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Guru Jason

Thanks

I've got a good job now for a 21 year old (earn > 30k) but still feel behind..

Reply 4

Sgt.Incontro

Loads of people on my course who are 25-26, so 23 is actually quite young still. There are a few mature students who are in their 30's.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Wahrheit

. And you're not that much older, either, so they'll still consider you a peer. There's no downsides.

Good luck

I'm a girl so not sure about the "alpha" stuff but hopefully. I don't know how to explain dropping out before (was there for 2 years, half of my 4 year engineering course) to my new peers though.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Sgt.Incontro

Loads of people on my course who are 25-26, so 23 is actually quite young still. There are a few mature students who are in their 30's.

Thanks

what course/uni if you don't mind me asking?

Reply 7

lottielocket2

I am off to uni for the first time and I will be 28 when I start!

I feel I have the advantage as I have had life experience!

So you are not a loser, quite the opposite!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by lottielocket2

I am off to uni for the first time and I will be 28 when I start!

I feel I have the advantage as I have had life experience!

So you are not a loser, quite the opposite!

Thanks good luck! :smile:

Reply 9

squeakysquirrel

Crikey - you are 23 not 63. Many students take a couple of gap years and start at the age of 20 ish

On my daughter's maths course there are many many students older that you - 25; 30; 28 and so on - you will fit in quite well. ANd I am guessing you are emotionally more mature now. Good luck

Reply 10

SiminaM

You'll get all the ladies :wink:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by squeakysquirrel

Thanks

yep that's true

SiminaM

I'm a girl but thanks :tongue:

Reply 12

SiminaM

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks

yep that's true

I'm a girl but thanks :tongue:

LOL I was actually expecting that :laugh:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by SiminaM

LOL I was actually expecting that :laugh:

Will I be a cougar? :gah:

Reply 14

SiminaM

Original post by Anonymous

Will I be a cougar? :gah:

Hardly. I always thought cougars were in their mid-late thirties...

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by SiminaM

Hardly. I always thought cougars were in their mid-late thirties...

Damn. Ah well maybe the age difference won't matter at all for dating then :lol:

Reply 16

Wahrheit

Original post by Anonymous

Good luck

I'm a girl so not sure about the "alpha" stuff but hopefully. I don't know how to explain dropping out before (was there for 2 years, half of my 4 year engineering course) to my new peers though.

Yeah I did the same thing! 2 years of a Maths degree for me. A big part of why I left was due to depression, and it's not something you really want to be talking about to your new peers. Just shrug it off a bit, blame the uni 'well XXXX was just SO bad, I couldn't take it any more and the course was wrong for me anyway, so I thought I'd give it a break and go back to uni when I was more ready so here I am!' Then ask them something about themselves. Don't get all doom and gloomy about it or dwell on it or anything.

Reply 17

shirlz2808

You are not a loser.
If uni is going to get you places.
Go secure your future.
I'm pretty sure that makes you a winner.

(PS: 23 is not even old. I read an article about a 70 year old in Kenya who is in primary school.)

Reply 18

DanB1991

I had a 2 year gap and joined when I was 20, I'm currently 23 and I've almost finished.

Don't worry, plenty of my mates are 22-23, you'll only be 1-2 years older than a larger number of people.

Reply 19

Fullofsurprises

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, I can imagine you will feel stuff when you are doing the course, especially to start with. One suggestion I would have is to look for courses that have quite a few mature students? If there are other people your age or older taking the course, that would make a difference.

I would think that socially you won't feel a strong need to get involved with the people on your year, there will be a definite age gap and a bunch of 18/19 year olds won't have a lot in common with you. Probably you will need to think of the course itself as strictly work and not worry about being close friends with people on it. Look for a wider social circle amongst postgrads and with other people on campus.

It may be a good thing though, you should be able to concentrate well on the actual learning. Older students tend to be better at keeping their concentration and head on the content and not be so easily distracted.