I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm ****ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Reply 1

Lady Trollington

Original post by tehforum

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm ****ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

My husband and I identify gender-wise as Seals.

Reply 2

tehforum

OP

20

Original post by Lady Trollington

My husband and I identify gender-wise as Seals.

What the hell did you say about me, you nimcompoop?

Reply 3

Lady Trollington

Original post by tehforum

What the hell did you say about me, you nimcompoop?

Don't use that tone with me!

It turns me on.

Reply 4

H0PEL3SS

12

Do you find this attractive?

Spoiler

Reply 5

tehforum

OP

20

Original post by H0PEL3SS

Do you find this attractive?

Spoiler

good one mate

Reply 6

That Bearded Man

22

So what about the helicopter pilots? Are they doing you from behind? What is their role?

Reply 7

tehforum

OP

20

Original post by That Bearded Man

So what about the helicopter pilots? Are they doing you from behind? What is their role?

I now identify myself as a steel beam

Ever since 9/11 I dreamed of getting drawn closer and closer to my melting point by jet fuel under the Twin Tower letting them drop on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a steel beam is Impossible and I’m ****ing retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install steel beams and jet fuel on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Steel Beam” and respect my right to not melt by jet fuel and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a steeliphobe and need to check your metallic privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Reply 8

silentshadows

14

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.

Original post by Lady Trollington

My husband and I identify gender-wise as Seals.

strong username to thread content correlation

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9