I think I'm pregnant but there's more....

I actually feel like crying right now but I'll go on. I had my period a month ago. A week after that I had sex with my boyfriend (we've been together for a month) we got carried away and didn't use anything but it was only once. A week after that I got drunk and slept with this other guy that I've had a thing for. The problem now is I haven't gotten my period yet and I'm 6 days late! Normally I'm like 2-3 days late but 6 days is the longest it has been. I'm so scared because for one If I take a test and it's positive that's already a big problem but then I have a bigger problem of who the dad might be! I love my boyfriend we've officially been together for a month but we had a thing for a longer time than that and I feel that he could be the one but I've gone and messed it up! He's in his final year and he's incredibly intelligent and I want the best for him but if I am I've ruined his life and mine. The other guy is in his final year as well but he's also a family friend so it wouldn't be as bad. What do I do besides take a test? Abortion and adoption are out of the question! Advice needed please! No judgement as well please it could happen to anyone! :frown:

Reply 1

shawn_o1

21

Surely the pregnancy test would also determine who your child's father is? If it's not who you intended it to be then there are going to be consequences as you said

Reply 2

Blutooth

16

Original post by Anonymous

I actually feel like crying right now but I'll go on. I had my period a month ago. A week after that I had sex with my boyfriend (we've been together for a month) we got carried away and didn't use anything but it was only once. A week after that I got drunk and slept with this other guy that I've had a thing for. The problem now is I haven't gotten my period yet and I'm 6 days late! Normally I'm like 2-3 days late but 6 days is the longest it has been. I'm so scared because for one If I take a test and it's positive that's already a big problem but then I have a bigger problem of who the dad might be! I love my boyfriend we've officially been together for a month but we had a thing for a longer time than that and I feel that he could be the one but I've gone and messed it up! He's in his final year and he's incredibly intelligent and I want the best for him but if I am I've ruined his life and mine. The other guy is in his final year as well but he's also a family friend so it wouldn't be as bad. What do I do besides take a test? Abortion and adoption are out of the question! Advice needed please! No judgement as well please it could happen to anyone! :frown:

1/30 kids, roughly 3%, have fathers who believe that the child is biologically theirs but aren't actually the dad. Don't go down that route.

Reply 3

tinkerbell_xxx

15

You need to take the test and tell your boyfriend you cheated on him. Its not fair for him to have a cheating girlfriend and potentially raise someone else's baby as his

Reply 4

ringlet

16

first, of all YOU haven't ruined anyone's life. Both of you had sex without protection, so both of you are responsible for the consequences.

I'm assuming you didn't use anything with the other guy either?

All you can do is wait it out and take a test. Obviously, if you are pregnant you'll have to tell your boyfriend you slept with someone else and it might not be his.

You're not that late in the grand scheme of things, a lot of factors can have an effect on your period and cause it to come late. So I wouldn't stress too much yet.

Finally, I know you said no judgements..but you also said this could happen to anyone. Not everyone would cheat on their partner. Sorry.

Reply 5

ringlet

16

Original post by shawn_o1

Surely the pregnancy test would also determine who your child's father is? If it's not who you intended it to be then there are going to be consequences as you said

pregnancy tests don't double up as a DNA test lol.

Reply 6

Emily.97

21

Fabulous..
Why is abortion out of the question? It isn't too late..
Saying that, what ever action you take, it's only right that both men are informed. There isn't a way for you to conceal what you've done, unless you tell your boyfriend that you're pregnant but don't tell him that you cheated, which I would never encourage and I hope you don't do either.
You/they didn't use protection and you cheated. You've gotta face the consequences, and I'm not giving any sympathy.

Reply 7

Sophie_girl

11

you have to take the test, this won't go away by itself. i would get an STI check too.

why on earth didn't you take the morning after pill? sex education is abysmal in this country.

Reply 8

Rakas21

21

You need to get a paternity test as soon as possible. If you have any honour you should also tell your boyfriend the truth.

I can only imagine the same your boyfriend will feel if it's his, the mother of his genetic heir being somebody so disloyal, inferior and undeserving of being the mother to his children.

Reply 9

Novascope

17

How old are you?

Agreeing with what amylouisenic said, you haven't ruined anyone's life so don't think that way. You really need to take a pregnancy test. Sitting around worrying won't do anything, and could also affect your potential baby. While I'm not one to tell people when they should start having sex in a relationship, but considering you have only been with your boyfriend for a month you really should've used protection or been on contraception if you thought the relationship would be long lasting. After taking your pregnancy test you still need to tell your boyfriend, even if you're not pregnant. There are no excuses for cheating, you say you love him but at the same time have a thing for the other guy you slept with? That's hardly showing off your true love for your boyfriend. I do apologise if it seems like I'm being harsh, but in situations like this you can't sugarcoat it and act as if nothing is wrong. If it turns out that you are pregnant, please make sure you get a paternity test. I would hate for your boyfriend to believe someone else's child is his, potentially changing the outcome of his life. If you're seriously scared and worried, call up a support line or go to a support group if you don't think you can seek help from family or friends.

Reply 10

earthworm

17

First take a preg test then you at least know you are pregnant. Could try one of those ones that tell you how pregnant you are, you might be able to guestimate who daddy is but you won't know for sure until kid is born and dna tested.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by amylouisenic

first, of all YOU haven't ruined anyone's life. Both of you had sex without protection, so both of you are responsible for the consequences.

I'm assuming you didn't use anything with the other guy either?

All you can do is wait it out and take a test. Obviously, if you are pregnant you'll have to tell your boyfriend you slept with someone else and it might not be his.

You're not that late in the grand scheme of things, a lot of factors can have an effect on your period and cause it to come late. So I wouldn't stress too much yet.

Finally, I know you said no judgements..but you also said this could happen to anyone. Not everyone would cheat on their partner. Sorry.

I know it takes two but his parents won't see it that way. He's already got a graduate job ahead of him and bringing a child who could potentially not be his into the equation is out of the question.

But my breasts are tender and I've been feeling light-headed too, aren't these symptoms?

I was drunk, it was a mistake and the other guy knew about my boyfriend yet didn't stop what happened. I don't know what to do!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by tinkerbell_xxx

You need to take the test and tell your boyfriend you cheated on him. Its not fair for him to have a cheating girlfriend and potentially raise someone else's baby as his

I already feel extremely guilty about it but I'll feel worse if I am. I just can't tell him yet.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Emily.97

Fabulous..
Why is abortion out of the question? It isn't too late..
Saying that, what ever action you take, it's only right that both men are informed. There isn't a way for you to conceal what you've done, unless you tell your boyfriend that you're pregnant but don't tell him that you cheated, which I would never encourage and I hope you don't do either.
You/they didn't use protection and you cheated. You've gotta face the consequences, and I'm not giving any sympathy.

I don't believe in it and I just couldn't it's not just my child.. I really wish that it was just one person involved. I could never do that he deserves to know at least but it will be extremely painful for me to do. I know and I don't expect you to..

Reply 14

tinkerbell_xxx

15

Original post by Anonymous

I already feel extremely guilty about it but I'll feel worse if I am. I just can't tell him yet.

He deserves to know as soon as possible whether you feel guilty or not. You cheated so you need to tell him so he can decide if he wants to still be with you, especially with you being pregnant and it may not be his

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Sophie_girl

you have to take the test, this won't go away by itself. i would get an STI check too.

why on earth didn't you take the morning after pill? sex education is abysmal in this country.

I will I'm going to go get one now..If I do have an STD it wouldn't be from my bf anyway because we were each-others first. I don't even know,I wasn't thinking... :frown:

Reply 16

ringlet

16

Original post by Anonymous

I know it takes two but his parents won't see it that way. He's already got a graduate job ahead of him and bringing a child who could potentially not be his into the equation is out of the question.

But my breasts are tender and I've been feeling light-headed too, aren't these symptoms?

I was drunk, it was a mistake and the other guy knew about my boyfriend yet didn't stop what happened. I don't know what to do!

It really doesn't matter how his parents see it. It takes 2 and that's a fact.
He should've thought of that before engaging in unprotected sex then?
Obviously, you need to tell him you cheated.

Yeah, they are symptoms but sometimes women experience those during their period too. The only thing you can do is take a test.

Tbh, it wasn't up to the other guy to stop as he's not the one in a relationship. (Morally, he should've but I think the blame lies with you.)

edit: you should go to a family planning clinic, you can get a pregnancy and STI test there.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 17

AsandaLFC

16

This is a ****ed up situation cos u have nooo way of finding out who the father is until birth and by that time your boyfriend will forever think its his baby... If I was your BF and u tell me u cheated on me, even worse the baby might not be mine I would leave u and never come back even if the baby is mine. You're lose man. How can u have 2 dicks within a few weeks, u didnt even use a condom with the other guy. Its people like u who spread HIV. You're disgusting

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 18

bassbabe

14

Tell your bf you cheated on him, take a pregnancy test, if you are and have the baby take a paternity test. No man should have to raise some other blokes kid. Well done.