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I need to sort myself out.

Hello lovely people of TSR.

I really, really need to sort me out at the moment - but I have no idea how. I'm 17, in college doing my A levels, and hating it. I despise how we are taught how to pass exams, and not taught about the subjects themselves. I despise the narrow mindedness of college, how direct it is. It really, really gets me down.

However, A levels are coming up, and I need to get on and do things for it. But I struggle so much to motivate myself, especially in situations like this, when I'm hating what I'm doing. I know that I just need to get through this stage to the next, but it's not easy. And it's not working.

This, on top of a family (and personal) history of depression doesn't bode well. I'm generally feeling pretty crappy, emotionally, and it doesn't make for easy schooling. The college is well aware, I'm seeing a school counsellor every other week and I was seeing a psychotherapist three times a week, until a couple of weeks ago where we broke for "christmas break" or something.

I'm not doing anything at the moment. I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating much, I'm not going to college, I'm not going out unless it's absolutely neccessary. There is little to no chance that I can get any further emotional support, as Psychotherapist said that he didn't want me to contact the NHS place, he wanted me to feel however I was feeling (or some shizz like that).

I do need to get on and do drama coursework (10 A3 sheets. Sigh) Essays (one in for tomorrow that I haven't even looked at yet), and catch up on three days of school that I've missed.

Any suggestions? And gar, I apologise for post length.

Reply 1

sidi

Decide on a set time - half an hour? and devote yourself totally to work for that time. Half an hour isn't much, don't let yourself be diverted by msn, phone etc and see what you can achieve in that time. You might be pleasantly surprised...

Reply 2

hanadeka2002

I despised the way we were taught exam technique, rather than the subject, at A-level also. There's nothing that can be done about that. If you want to learn more about the subject why don't you read it around it for your own fun, also might help you do better in the exams?

I was depressed throughout the whole 2 years of my A-levels and I found it incredibly hard to be motivated to get up and go to class or do any work in general. I had to force myself by thinking about how hacked off I'd have been if I'd wasted 2 years of my life in sixth form, just to fail all the exams.

I'm no psychotherapist but that can't be right that s/he told you they wanted you to feel bad!If you feel you need someone to talk to, ring the NHS place!

As for the work,sit down and do it. Plan breaks...say,do 45 minutes work then have a 15 minute break. Once you start seeing results and that pile of work getting ever smaller you'll feel so much better.

Reply 3

Doodahdoo

Thanks for the help, guys. I really appreciate it.

The reason that he told me to feel bad is because I have this habit of not revealing my true emotions, so to speak. I cover them u p with other things, fill in the gaps. So he wanted me to feel what I was feeling, not getting me to cover everything up.

Easier said than done; I just don't care. I don't see much of a future past uni, if I even get that far. So I'm not particularly motivated by the thoughts of getting out there, getting a job, getting options, and all that jazz.

xx

Reply 4

Amberoo

YOU SOUND LIKE ME!!
im in my final year of sixth form now and my whole kind of enthusiasms gone, I hardly socialise anymore jus on a fri and sat nights to go on booze otherwise in frees i jus go home when i can and sleep. I hate the way ive been taught my drama lessons this year. We have been working on are divised project and dis new teacher was jus sitting there with a stereo playin on her lap top so we have had no help at all.. I dnt kno what to do for my structured record for it either.. and I hate way most lessons r copy off the bored or text book. I feel I have been failed by the system.. this is now put me off going to university and even thou ive applyed i cert won't take up an offer.. I don't feel like following the year thru but I feel I have no option otherwise to.. do you get me?

Reply 5

=Keith=

Its hard and it really is hard. People here will just read and perhaps close the thread. I know how u feel and i felt exactly the same..
I feel that its not only ur academics.. u need to organize ur life.. perhaps "urself".. u need to reconsider ur aims, ur limits .. ur boundaries u need to set ur targets again.. u need to actually sit down n "think" who u r and wat u want to be.
Ppal wont help neither will NHS. Its u who can change and make a difference.. u knwo the problem is in "ourselveS" we dont "make" an effort. We jus sit n cry over wats wrong n bad in our life.. !! u should change this. Get out of this hurdle n i swear life is goingto be heaven for u. If ur ready to get out.. im sure ul learn loadssssssssss of things in life and just in 2 years !! that is between ur sixth form.. i hope u read between my lines..
good luck

Reply 6

WokSz

It's normal that you feel like this. The fact that so much work is ahead of you might seem daunting. I know as I'm going through the exact same thing. You need to cut yourself out. It's normal that you're taught to just pass your exams, because at such a basic level, you will learn only a small percentage of a subject. University and post-University is where you will learn all the real stuff. Just work hard to actually get into University and if you really enjoy a subject, that is where you will notice you'll learn a great deal more.

As for motivating yourself to work, just think: do you want to regret it your whole life that you could have done really well, but you didn't?

Reply 7

username47781

Simulatio

Hm, did you even read my post? When you say it like that, it does sound Emo. That is why I specifically didn't write it as "I'm going to kill myself aged 20", becuase I knew that there would be jackasses like you around. It's a plan that I've had for years, since I was about 10.

Y'know, if you're going to take that attitude, I wish that my college would listen to you. The problem isn't that I've missed three days of college, the problem is that I have missed three days, on top of a number of other days. That I'm not motivated. That I don't give two flying craps whether I pass, fail, or get an ungraded - only that it'll take me into uni.
Maybe I am just making issues for myself. Maybe this is just all make-believe. This is something that I've raised with said psychotherapist countless times. But what then do you reccomend I do about it, since you seem to be amazing at this "pull your finger out" business?

Just ignore him he really isn't worth it, i applaud you for not going anon.

Reply 8

Doodahdoo

Carl1982

Just ignore him he really isn't worth it, i applaud you for not going anon.

Thanks. I figured I'm pretty anonymous on here anyhow, as in nobody IRL knows me. There was no point hiding. Heh. x

Reply 9

beach surf babe

I think everyone goes through some point of A Levels thinking "I really don't want to do this anymore". I know I came that close to just chucking it all in but you just have to keep in mind that it will all finish eventually. That said if you really don't want to carry on, don't be scared to that because plenty of people do and go on to do different things or go back to college later on.

One way to motivate yourself is to bear in mind that if you pass that unit in a subject, you'll never have to do it again! :biggrin:

Just think small and go from there. I always found that if I looked at the bigger picture (all those essays/coursework/homework etc that had to be done) I just freaked out and couldn't do any of it! So focus on each task and only that task and its a bit easier to cope with.

Hope that helps! :smile:

Reply 10

AntiLearner

I was like this a few weeks ago, and slowly I picked myself up again.

Week 1: Went to the gym
Week 2: Caught up with coursework

So yeah, after 2 weeks I'm like a whole new person. Full of energy and I enjoy going back to sixth form everyday now. Trust me, just set yourself some goals and you'll feel much better in time. The best feeling is when you know you're going back to school with nothing to worry about/no excuses to make/no temptation of staying at home (and doing nothing like myself) because you've gotten your work done. For me anyway. I never did ANY schoolwork for GCSE (hence I did a lot worse than expected) but now I think I've sorted myself out. Good luck! =D

Reply 11

rachelrainbow32

I know exactaly how youre feeling my problems with maths at the moment because i just can't do the work and it's stressing me out and i don't want to go to my teachers because they will just think that im not doing enough wrk, when im doing loads and the reason why im not doing any work is because i dont have enough motivation. the one thing i really want to do is just revise for my january exams using my own ways because my teachers methos are only getting me Us atm. but i can't do that because i'll just get hassle.
I feel like im being pulling in about a thousend different directions an im constantly letting people down by not going out with them, by not having chance to phone and stuff like that, i wasn't hardly in for my brothers birthday, im hardly going to be free around christmas and im currently seeing my boyfriend around once a week. arrrrgggghhhh, i just don't know what to do other than cry.

Reply 12

Purple-Sparkle

I'm qualified to help people with problems like these. I'm a mentor for GCSE and A-level students by the way and I have to help them with motivation, etc.

People, you shouldn't get on at her like you are, she is having some difficult problems and you saying things like you are to her are not going to help in the slightest. If they are going to do anything, they will lower her self-esteem even more and that will make things worse for her.

Anyway to the OP, you say that college work is been affected and going down hill. What you really need to do is ask your tutors about the work, ask when you don't understand something. Tell them straight that the way they are trying to teach you is no good. Also have you considered buying a revision text book? If you put an hour aside every night to revise, I'm sure you will understand your work and you will succeed it the exams (I'm assuming you have January ones). Thing is your going to have to motivate yourself to do it. A good idea to help with organizing yourself is to produce a revision timetable. You can then put an hour a day aside to revise. To get motivated reward yourself. A good way to do this would be to have a money jar, every time you revise or get a bit of work done put some odd change in it. Let it build up then treat yourself.

Other thing about your coursework. Break that down into manageable chunks too. Do a bit everyday and don't leave it until last minute. You will do well and find it easier if you do it that way. Start the essay but don't stay up all night to finish it. Tell your tutor you have been ill so haven't managed to finish it. I'm sure he/she will give you an extension.

Try having good nights sleep tonight and try to eat well. You will feel better.

Uni is in your reach, you know what you have to do to get there, so plan ahead and do what you have to do.

You do need to start thinking positive about yourself, think that you are capable of doing well. Once you think that, positive things will follow. The psychotherapist and councillor will try helping you with the emotional issues. Life is worth living and eventually you will reach the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't think about death.

Hope I've helped Good luck :smile:

Reply 13

ellewoods

Sometimes you do just need a cuddle, write some lists and get organised, and slowly and carefully start to work through things.

Maybe you do make issues for yourself - but so what? Whatever the cause / reality of the issues you've talked about, they are affecting your life and so deserve to be taken seriously.

Regarding your work; the post that suggested sitting down for just half an hour dedicate study worked for me when I lost all motivation at A Level. Try it and see what happens; you'll probably get loads done.

Good luck, I hope you work through :smile:

Reply 14

NickNack

Dont do any work one night and instead think really hard about the following:

Think about August 2007. Think how sh*t you would feel if you get told you've failed all your exams. Think how awful it would be to have to re-sit a year at college, while all your friends go off to uni or gapyears or jobs or whatever. Think how embarrassing it would be having to tell your family how you failed.

This worked for me, and i almost guarantee you will find your motivation by doing this

Reply 15

Doodahdoo

Thank you guys for your words of wisdom. I really appreciate it, and it's very useful to hear different experiences/opinions.

xxx

Reply 16

Doodahdoo

Y'see, I've been focusing on Christmas as a break, but I'm aware that there is a hell of a lot of work to be catching up on, plus I have 20 A4 sheets of drama notes to do. So the chances of me having a break are slim to none. And that is driving me insane.

But thank you for your thoughts, and your advice. xxx

Reply 17

IzzyWizzy

I felt more or less the same way during my A-Levels - I hated the work, I hated school, it felt like a huge waste of time. But it's a fairly small problem in the grand scheme of things, and it was changing my frame of mind that helped me. I decided it was worth putting the work in for 2 years to do as well as possible and have more opportunities afterwards. I thought about what would happen if I failed my exams -repeating a whole year or ending up working in a shop or a cafe all my life, in my small hometown, and I thought 'no way'. I knew I would have been really annoyed at myself. Basically, look at the alternatives. It's way easier to make yourself do the work now than waste a year of your life repeating, or waste all the work you've done so far by dropping out.