The Student Room Group

Boyfriend and his mum's cleaning expectations...

I'm at uni, so it's long distance. However, since I've been home boyfriend has expected me to basically do all this cooking and cleaning. We don't live together. However, his attitude seems to come from his mum...first night I was home, I cooked him dinner but didn't wash the plates we ate on. His mum popped into his house when I was still sleeping, phones up on work and complains how lazy I am not washing up.... bare in mind it was the first time I'd seen in a looong time and a. wanted to spend time with him when he got home from work and b. I was tired after driving down. and c. after I cook in a house that I am a guest in and I to blame for their being plates dirty? He is equally capable of washing up and presume he manages whilst I'm not there...

If it's that ingrained is there anything I can do? I haven't been well, I have exams and four pieces of coursework...the last thing I need on top is a list of chores in a house that I don't live in when I still have to do stuff at my parent's house...or flack from not only him but his mother.

Like since this incident, he's asked me to do his laundry, tidy his house, clean the microwave... I've refused and he annoyed at me...like he was going to take me for dinner and now he's not. If it wasn't for his mother having similar exceptions, I'd think it was simple disrespect?
What the **** he expects you to cook his meals and clean his house? You don't even live together wtf. He sounds like he's been raised having not had to do anything in the house and his mother was expected to do everything in his family dynamic. Now he sees you as the person who should carry on. I'd address the issue with him. If it were me I'd address the issue, try to get to the bottom of it and see if his entitlement attitude and expectations can and do change. If not I'd leave him, no way I could live with someone like that.

And regardless of his mothers expectations it is simply disrespectful of him to expect you to do everything.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at uni, so it's long distance. However, since I've been home boyfriend has expected me to basically do all this cooking and cleaning. We don't live together. However, his attitude seems to come from his mum...first night I was home, I cooked him dinner but didn't wash the plates we ate on. His mum popped into his house when I was still sleeping, phones up on work and complains how lazy I am not washing up.... bare in mind it was the first time I'd seen in a looong time and a. wanted to spend time with him when he got home from work and b. I was tired after driving down. and c. after I cook in a house that I am a guest in and I to blame for their being plates dirty? He is equally capable of washing up and presume he manages whilst I'm not there...

If it's that ingrained is there anything I can do? I haven't been well, I have exams and four pieces of coursework...the last thing I need on top is a list of chores in a house that I don't live in when I still have to do stuff at my parent's house...or flack from not only him but his mother.

Like since this incident, he's asked me to do his laundry, tidy his house, clean the microwave... I've refused and he annoyed at me...like he was going to take me for dinner and now he's not. If it wasn't for his mother having similar exceptions, I'd think it was simple disrespect?


Tell him about what you've just said on here. Tell him how unreasonable he's being and it's the 21st century!!

If he won't listen, dump him. Do you really see a future with a man that expects you to do everything for him?

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