Can someone advise me: I'm fifty...

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Reply 20

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by mightymonarch

So true. And the luxury to have breakfast in one's underpants is not to be dismissed lightly.

So many, many things like that are not to be sneered at.

Reply 21

Penman12

Original post by mightymonarch

Well, I started the thread with an open mind. I wanted to see if there was some advantage to living in halls that I had overlooked. Aside from always available hot meals, I don't think there the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for a mature student.

I just don't think living in halls will have the desired effect of helping you to fit in. I think you'd regret your decision very quickly. For me, I need my sleep and my sense of fun rapidly evaporates if it's withheld.
I'm going as an older mature student this year, too. It's interesting, isn't it? I mean, we spend a lot of time thinking about the 'fitting in' question, or I did. I certainly don't expect age to be a barrier to the learning, but I've already had a taste of things doing the Access Course.

I had one interview during the application process, and the interviewer asked me, 'so, ninety-four per cent of students on this course are young, white, middle-class girls. How do you think you'll fit in?'
I was a bit taken aback, actually. I just stared at him (the interview wasn't going well anyway). The only thing I'd have in common at first would be my pasty coloured skin.
Of course, on the way home, 'carriage wit' kicked in. I thought of a lot of replies I could have given. I mean, he was right, I wouldn't fit in but it's already occurred to me that, as a mature student, probably the worst way to fit in, is to try too hard, and personally I've never been a big fan of 'fitting in' anyway. I don't mean, be aloof, but just be your own person, open and friendly but let people warm to you. I did think of telling the interviewer that if his figures were correct, the application process needs looking at. Not necessarily just from a fairness point of view, but I wondered how any interesting exchange of views could arise in discussions between such a narrow range of types.
Afterwards, I realized one thing that it's easy to forget during this process, which is that it's a two-way street with regards to choosing a university. He was actually right, and probably did me a favour in the long run, although I'd already been struck by the lack of any apparent diversity on the campus.
So, slamming doors and setting off the fire-alarms. Don't do it! They won't respect you in the morning :smile:

They'll warm to us... probably some time in the second year is what I felt like saying but I just looked at him and asked what kind of reaction he was waiting for. He told me it wasn't a trick question and the interview never quite got back on track.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 22

mightymonarch

Well, most of the people on my HND course were eighteen year old girls (I am a fifty year old man). After we got over the fact that they have never heard of Beverly Hills Cop and don't know how to use their phones for actually calling people, we got on very well. My only problem was that at lunch they wouldn't let me sit by myself and read. They would come and sit by me and rate the boys in the class according to how 'Mysterious' they were. And whether they had 'Thick Hair'.

Reply 23

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by mightymonarch

Sounds like you are doing fine. Speaking as a 50+ teacher who deals with 18 year olds all day long, I'd say the secret is absolutely NOT trying to be like them. I tend to exaggerate my ancient status and they are then very indulgent, followed by surprised that I am actually perfectly good company and useful to have around. I find that actually not caring about fitting in makes everyone relaxed enough around you to make fitting in very easy. But it sounds as if you've found that already.

Reply 24

Klix88

Obviously it's not the same for everyone, but I echo the idea of not trying to mimic younger students in order to fit in. It really sets you up as false, phoney or just plain embarrassing, and someone to be avoided. If you're just "yourself" and remain open, friendly and don't try to foist yourself on them, that seems the best way to invite them over to you. It can also help if you come up with the occasional reference for someone in a tight spot with coursework, but I'd wait to be asked so that you don't come over as a know-all.

I like the comment above about starting to fit in sometime during the second year - that's pretty much the way it was for me. Quite lonely and slightly awkward in the first year, but part of the furniture and just accepted when we came back for the second year.

There were some fundamental differences. For example, sex and drugs seemed to be a standard part of life for the younger cohort, where they were still almost taboo and not a topic of conversation when I was their age. The trick is not to be judgmental as that's the reality of life for people that age today. It was a good eye-opener and a useful bit of education for me. They were generally a lot more sorted than I was at that age and as far as I could see, they were getting through life very successfully without me offering lifestyle advice. I did have to tone down my sense of humour until they were a bit more used to me though!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 25

Schadenfreude65

I haven't found age to be an issue at all. The group I hang around with at university are a mixture of mature students and school/college leavers. I don't socialise in the evenings, but that's more to do with the lifestyle gap than the age gap. (I have a family to go home to). I think it helps that we have a common room in our department, which is a natural gathering place during the day, especially for students who live off-campus.

Reply 26

paulusbrewer

Get your own flat. I'm 39 and that's what I will be doing. Can't be doing with the staying up all night any longer.

Reply 27

FalsettoSlumber

I'd personally say get your own flat. The maturity levels are just too different, and I think you would struggle. Also, as horrible as it sounds, young people tend to stigmatise older people, and many younger students can find it weird living with older students (sucks, I know).

Speaking from personal experience, I live with a thirty year old student, and I'm twenty one. We don't get on. At all. In fact, she's being moved to another room because she's such a horrific human being. If anything, I'd say I'm the more mature one out of us! Going by that mental age reversal, I can tell you it's difficult. Although she's thirty, she has a rubbish mental age, as she's never lived away from home before (I have), and it begins to grate when your flatmate doesn't wash anything, comes in at 2am when you just want to sleep, etc.

Fully advise on living alone, basically.

Reply 28

KittyAnneR

I am 24 and I am definitely renting. I did the halls things before when I was 19 and I bloody hated it. Horrible flatmates, disgusting kitchen, fire alarms every night at 3am, tiny rooms. No thanks haha!

Reply 29

Katy100

I lived in halls for a few months last year in my mid-twenties and I really wouldn't recommend it to anyone over about 22/23 as you stick out like a sore thumb and being surrounded by 18/19 year olds just isn't much fun.

It's different in lectures/tutorials because you all have a shared interest in the course so age doesn't really factor but halls are really there for teens to avoid having to cook and to party!

I did live in halls at 19 and enjoyed it then.