Girls with reputations

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IzzyWizzy

Boys are just as bad as girls, if not worse, IMO. I've heard guys talking about girls they've slept with and it wasn't nice.

Most men I know talk about their sexual exploits. I see nothing intrinsically wrong with it. It's like girls going to an Ann Summers party; a bit cheeky but essentially harmless bonding. However, the tone with which the speak about different girls is the telling thing. With girls they respect they will infer. "How are things going with your missus. You done the buisness?". With girls like the one the OP mentioned they will brag. I've heard the following several times, "You took that bird home last night from the SU didn't you. Shag her?", "Yeah, I smashed her mate. Sllaaagggg!!", and all his to the laughter of his friends.

It seems hard to believe that some girls don't know guys talk like this, and that in having a one night stand, they will be the subject of the less than pleasant "banter" which follows.

I'll be totally honest and admit that I've went down that road in the past. Maybe not to the extent that everyone knew me as a slapper but there were a selection of people who did. I would do what that girl does and get drunk and just go away with the first guy I noticed. Then something happened one night and I decided that was it, no more. I honestly do not know why I did that to myself and degraded myself so much and I regret it every single day of my life. I doubt this girl knows what impulses her to act that way either.
I have since met my boyfriend, he knows about my past, I seen no reason in hiding it from him. I know it makes him so angry thinking about it and he has brought it up a lot if we've argued which is a reason for me regretting it now as I've seen what reputations like that do to you when you actually do get into a relationship like the OP said, this girl had trouble with a relationship because of her behaviour as well.

Reply 43

Anonymous #2

The last girl i knew who slept around and had a rep for sleeping around slit her wrists. From my own experience i think girls who sleep around are in need of constant reassurance that they are attractive to the opposite sex, though by getting a reputation guys will tend to go with them cos they think they are easy, not because they think they are attractive.

Reply 44

need_money

I guess that is actually really true. Never thought of it that way but I used to have a thing about my looks. I had it in my head that I was really really ugly. So that is probably why I did it on a subconscious sort of level. I'm not saying I'm drop dead gorgeous but since I met my boyfriend he's helped me realised I'm actually not ugly and that I was wayyyyyyy too good for all the guys I slept with before. Not trying to sound big headed but if you knew any of them you would agree. :smile:

Reply 45

Tag

what i've got from this convo so far:
* guys who sleep around are just normal, wanting sex
* girls who sleep around are either insecure, naive in assuming evryone else does it, or are doing it to please boys because they are incapable of saying no.
* if a girl has had a few sexual partners, she automatically is incapable of having a long term relationship. It doesn't matter if she only wanted sex then but now want's a full time relationship, if she ain't a virgin, she's lying.

aah, modern society.

Reply 46

IzzyWizzy

Erm the girl in question IS naive about assuming everyone does it. It's plain inaccurate. She has the right to do what she wants but the lack of self awareness is a bit worrying.

Reply 47

ph9

to be fair, there's no point reading into this. this thread is full of "there are many reasons why she's like this" etc etc.

er, no. she's a slut. that's all there is to it.

Reply 48

Zoecb

gbduo

Why should the ex-bf get a severe mutilation...sounds like to me he got out at the right time...

Because someone who breaks up with someone because she's had a lot of conquests is DISGUSTING and deserves a severe beating for being such a sexist ****.

I think you're probably one of them. You don't even realise how abhorant your attitude is.

Reply 49

Seekingquestions

Christ sake! Too many poeple are ****ing indoctrinated with bigotry ethics. If the girl is enjoying herself, having safe sex then what is the problem?

Having many sleeping partners does not mean she is incapable of having a intimate relationship.

Many many sleeping partners does not mean she is unethical and insensitive.

I personally find those who call her a slut etc- especially if they've had sex with her disgusting. They would have you believe they are doing it purely to show how 'easy' she is. Hypocrisy at it's worse! The girl is having sex for pleasure, confort, while these men are merely ****ing her in an attempt to degrade her.

I'd be ashamed to be associated with such dicks.

Reply 50

wendy_17

Zoecb

Because someone who breaks up with someone because she's had a lot of conquests is DISGUSTING and deserves a severe beating for being such a sexist C**T.

I think you're probably one of them. You don't even realise how abhorant your attitude is.

Well I personally don't agree (no offense) but finding out your partner has been with so many men can be really daunting for some and it also relates to the type of personality that she has foe sleeping with all these guys.
I finished with a guy I was seeing when he told me he'd slept with 23 girls (hes only 18) truth is hard as it might sound it makes you feel really disposable being with someone whos been around a lot and it makes a relationship seem less special.

Reply 51

Schroedinger's Pandora

Seekingquestions

Damn I'd have repped you for that if I hadn't already used mine today.

Perhaps the most sensibe comment so far.

Reply 52

Zoecb

wendy_17

I finished with a guy I was seeing when he told me he'd slept with 23 girls (he's only 18) truth is hard as it might sound it makes you feel really disposable being with someone who's been around a lot and it makes a relationship seem less special.

I don't know if that's worse - that's not even horrible sexism against women - that's taking prejudices towards women and APPLYING them to men! How ridiculous!

Also, I feel the opposite to your sentiment. If someone had been successfully enjoying casual sex and is seen as desirable, I'd be all the more flattered that they'd decided to give the relationship thing a go with me.

Reply 53

bret

Zoecb

Calm down love. There are a lot of blokes out there who would qualify for this reccommended beating.

Reply 54

bret

Zoecb

Also, I feel the opposite to your sentiment. If someone had been successfully enjoying casual sex and is seen as desirable, I'd be all the more flattered that they'd decided to give the relationship thing a go with me.

You're odd.

Reply 55

Seekingquestions

bret

Calm down love. There are a lot of blokes out there who would qualify for this reccommended beating.

I think that could only fuel one's anger.

Nothing like common acceptance to justify wrong.

Reply 56

gbduo

Zoecb

How is that attitude sexist! Its just that a lot of men i think wouldn't feel comfortable with a girl who has slept around alot for the reasons already stated and thats not even including the extra pressures you would feel to compare to the others and it kinda degrades sex if she (or he) just sleeps around and does not really care who she (or he) has sex with.

This can be applied to both sexes, so how is it sexist.

Also, if you are going to argue with me, i would be most appreciative if you could do so in a civilised manner.

Graham

Reply 57

wendy_17

gbduo

I couldn't agree more.... REP!!!!

Reply 58

NDGAARONDI

Anonymous

Won't say exactly which one, but it's a northern redbrick.

Depends what you mean northern - I used to classify Nottingham as being up north. I'm guessing it's Liverpool or Newcastle then not that it matters anyway.

Reply 59

Segat1

Hmm, OP if you're genuinely concerned about this girl then have a word with her.

To relate, I'm older than the maj on this site and this thread is spooking me somewhat. I thought we'd left attitudes like this back in the last century, but it seems nothing changes. It's also something I'd never come across until I came to the UK.

I've slept with lots of guys. And I am happy with that. I didn't have realtionships at uni, but I did have sex. I didn't want a relationship, and I never met the kind of guy who I wanted to have a relationship with! I slept with guys I was sexually attracted to, and there were some who wanted to have a relationship with me - but I didn't want a boyf. Now, I have a lovely boyfriend. :smile:

Anyways....

I don't see a problem with being sexually active and not in a monogamus relationship. Obviously you need to be safe. The problem this girl seems to have is the choice of males who blab. And when you're in the bubble of uni/school, stuff like this seems SO IMPORTANT. Once you're out in the world at work, who is really going to give a toss about who puts out, with who and how often? Busybody nosy people who are lacking in interesting things in thier own lives to talk about mainly.

And guys, you need to get over this weird obsession about how many people your girlfriend has slept with previously. What the hell is this all about? Are you really that insecure? She's with you, you're the one sleeping with her now. What's been done is done. Do you want to focus on the past? There is a distinct difference between having sex and making love.

EDIT - yet another previous post I have made about this topic. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showpost.php?p=5008353&postcount=43