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Girls with reputations

gbduo

How is that attitude sexist! Its just that a lot of men i think wouldn't feel comfortable with a girl who has slept around alot for the reasons already stated and thats not even including the extra pressures you would feel to compare to the others and it kinda degrades sex if she (or he) just sleeps around and does not really care who she (or he) has sex with.

This can be applied to both sexes, so how is it sexist.

Also, if you are going to argue with me, i would be most appreciative if you could do so in a civilised manner.

Graham

Very good point

Reply 61

Dragon24

17

There are actually still people in society who disagree with her behaviour, hard to find these people though. Her bf did the right thing, he doesn't know what STD's or HIV she may have. She doesn't understand how others perceive her behaviour, she may have been neglected by her father as a child as result wants male attention.

I personally would leave her be, she is old enough to know what she is doing and face the consequences as a result. Men might enjoy the sluts for 'fun' but on the whole want to settle down with a more respectable person as a role model for their children.

Reply 62

Zoecb

11

gbduo

It's just that a lot of men i think wouldn't feel comfortable with a girl who has slept around a lot for the reasons already stated

Which were what?

And that's not even including the extra pressures you would feel to compare to the others

Fair point, I'll give you that. But that's rather a lack of self-confidence on the guy's part.

and it kinda degrades sex if she (or he) just sleeps around and does not really care who she (or he) has sex with.

Who on earth said the person 'doesn't really care' who they sleep with?

This can be applied to both sexes, so how is it sexist.

It can be but it generally isn't.

Reply 63

gbduo

15

1) Read the entire thread, then you will see the other reasons.

2) If someone is going to sleep with every tom, dick and harry...you have to ask whether he/she really cared or not.

3) I'm sorry but it can be applied to both sexes, just because it generally isn't does not make my statement sexist. Plus it is applied to both sexes, its just that in different lights, in a male perspective a positive attribute to some...yet it does become very negative if other blokes and girls believe that a bloke is using girls and a more of a negative image all round for girls. So, my statement was in no way sexist, the way that society sees this behaviour is growing increasingly negative for both sexes too.

Graham

Reply 64

Philosoraptor

18

Hmm, all I can say is I can't stand the double standards at all...... It makes me feel sick.

Reply 65

username47781

20

No i agree, especially when you get a girl who for example has slept around in the past but has a boyfriend, and the boyfriends dumps the girl for that reason, but yet he has slept around himself, that is one thing I really hate.

Reply 66

bret

12

Surely if a girl was dumped for that she'd think twice about her actions in the future, no?

Reply 67

username47781

20

bret

Surely if a girl was dumped for that she'd think twice about her actions in the future, no?

Surely if a guy was also dumped for a past he would think as well?

Reply 68

findingfantasy

She might think that some one who is that worried about her past is not worth being with.

Reply 69

high priestess fnord

9

bret

Surely if a girl was dumped for that she'd think twice about her actions in the future, no?

indeed, once burnt and all that. if it was me i would be more careful about who i chose to emotionally invest in and make sure they had a similar pov to myself before i got too involved. its allways a gamble but some people just have bad taste in men and then wonder why it comes back to bite them

Reply 70

high priestess fnord

9

findingfantasy

She might think that some one who is that worried about her past is not worth being with.

well why would anyone want to be with someone who had such a totally different out look on life to themselves? i definitely couldnt live with some one who disagreed with things make me who i am.

Reply 71

bret

12

i mean, wouldn't it make most girls sit up and take notice that they may have been behaving out of sync with society's morals and adapt. Surely a guy isn't going to go to the hassle of dumping a girl for that reason if she hasn't done anything that most people might consider slutty?

Reply 72

Anthonyjm71

9

Jennybean

You are of course right but the fact is anyone who doesn't think society is sexist is walking around with their eyes closed and their ears folded down. Even if one were to ignore the implications of so many features of our language and sexual politics, you can't escape the fact that women still earn less for doing the same job in almost every profession going. But that is off topic. OP, if this girl is seriously as conservative as you suggest, then I don't quite know how to respond, except to guess that she really is just naive and that for her own wellbeing perhaps someone should explain to her that often people look down on girls who sleep around. Although don't tell her about the things people say behind her back, that would be immeasurably hurtful. Perhaps if her behaviour alters they will all grow up and stop talking about her that way.

precisely true well said here :redface:

Reply 73

high priestess fnord

9

bret

i mean, wouldn't it make most girls sit up and take notice that they may have been behaving out of sync with society's morals and adapt. Surely a guy isn't going to go to the hassle of dumping a girl for that reason if she hasn't done anything that most people might consider slutty?

no. if a girl dumped you for being a skinny runt would you assume that you were ugly and infer that all girls were attracted to muscles? (no offense, ive never seen you so i havent a clue what your build is) there is no way in hell that i would change myself just because one man told me to and i dont think anyone with an ounce of self respect would do so. i could dump a guy for a number of reasons but i wouldnt expect him to then go out and change himself to suit my tastes.

Reply 74

Dragon24

17

Carl

Funny!

Reply 75

shinytoy

18

i think her bf was wrong to dump her. if he loved her for her heart or mind he would have stayed. but it was obvious he only wanted what the other guys got. he is therefore just as bad as them. in fact the guys have no right to judge her, if it is ok for a guy to take her into his room just to get head without commitment, then it should be equally ok for her to go to a guys room to give head without commitment.
dont fall for the double standard.

Reply 76

bret

12

high priestess fnord

no. if a girl dumped you for being a skinny runt would you assume that you were ugly and infer that all girls were attracted to muscles? (no offense, ive never seen you so i havent a clue what your build is) there is no way in hell that i would change myself just because one man told me to and i dont think anyone with an ounce of self respect would do so. i could dump a guy for a number of reasons but i wouldnt expect him to then go out and change himself to suit my tastes.

If someone dumped me for being a skinny runt, I would ask them to consult a GP. If however, I was a skinny runt, and a girl dumped me because of it, then yeah, I'd think I ought to go down the gym. The analogy goes deeper. I know that I'm not a skinny runt by comparrison to other's physiques. I'm probably a little fat if truth be told. The skinny runt, by the same token, knows he's on the thin side. Therefore, he's likely to be receptive to being dumped for that reason and it might actually be the first step to his getting in shape. Same as a girl who's slept around may have nagging doubts she's a slapper but hasn't done anything about them because it's not been raised. The bf raising it may make her internalise fully what she's been doing.

Reply 77

high priestess fnord

9

bret

The bf raising it may make her internalise fully what she's been doing.

what exactly has she been doing?? enjoying herself? having an active and fulfilling sex life? as long as she has used protection and not mislead guys as to what she wants from them then she hasnt done anything wrong.

Reply 78

Anonymous #3

this is ridiculous.
girls withoutreputations are having the same problem:
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=325847
men used to want a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom.
now it would seem men do not want either the whore or the lady!

Reply 79

high priestess fnord

9

Anonymous

this is ridiculous.
girls withoutreputations are having the same problem:
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=325847
men used to want a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom.
now it would seem men do not want either the whore or the lady!

it may surprise you to learn that men are all different!!! some men like a woman with sexual experience. do something alot and you tend to gain some skill in it and my bf appreciates this in the same way as i appreciate what he can do for me. the majority of men are allways going to want the middle road ie a woman who has some experience but not too much. and there will be a minority of men at the other end of the scale who want a virgin. if you go for an extreme then its hardly suprising that you will limit your options.

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